Some Historical Finds

[iL Dottore]

I’ve been doing some research for my Dartmoor Pub, going through various old magazines, and found – not unsurprisingly – that many of complaints and comments posted in the last few weeks about the arrival (or not) of various model railway magazines are not new.

 

The “Free Gift†has always seemed to have been a problem, as can be seen in this 18^th century letter:

 

Sir, I must protest most strongly that my issue of Commonwealth Carriage Monthly (incorporating Modern Sedan Chair) arrived here in Virginia without my free model of His Gracious Majesty King George the Third’s coronation coach. My extensive collection of Gentlemen’s coaches is well known and the absence of His Majesty’s carriage is causing me great embarrassment and causing my enemies to publicly question my loyalty to the Crown.

 

I remain, Sir, &tc. &tc. George Washington, Mount Vernon, Virginia

 

The fact that subscribers often “lost out†on the “Free Gift†was poignantly spelled out by this letter by a young lad at the turn of the last century:

 

Dear Sir, my Pater only allows me sixpence each month for my hobbies and I love railways and have subscribed to your journal, Exciting Underground Trains. As your very good publication is also expensive, I don’t have much money left over to buy locomotives and carriages. So I was very disappointed to find that the model C&SLR locomotive featured this month comes only with a newsagent's copy. Pater would be angry if I bought another copy (he’d strap me for being wasteful), so I must regretfully turn to my other hobby, Toy Soldiers, and cancel my subscription.

 

Sincerely, Bernard Law Montgomery (age 13)

 

Poor distribution also seems to have been problematic, as this 19^th century letter attests:

 

Sir, I am most distressed that my copy of West Country Broad Gauge Journal still has not arrived here in Simla. Even though Mr D---- in Malaya has telegraphed me that his copy has already arrived in Kuala Lumpur. Without your august journal, I am forced to listen to the local folk tales for entertainment and, Sir, there is only so much fanciful nonsense about a young boy raised by wolves that I can take. Please send the Journal as quickly as you can.

 

I remain, Sir, &tc., &tc. Joseph Rudyard Kipling, Simla, Himachal Pradesh, India

 

plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose, I would say.

 

F

 

 

[Kenton]

But you would have thought that with all the advances of science and technology (eg The railways, the combustion engine, man's first flight, space flights, man on the moon and the internet) that some small advances in efficiency of delivering something intact and on time would have been achieved by the 21st century.

[Horsetan]

But you would have thought that with all the advances of science and technology (eg The railways, the combustion engine, man's first flight, space flights, man on the moon and the internet) that some small advances in efficiency of delivering something intact and on time would have been achieved by the 21st century.

 

Is that why the atom bomb is not included in the example list?

[Shamouti Ben Yafo]

Theae themes are older than you think; a recently unearthed fragment of 'Ma Merkava?" (what Chariot?) carried an offer for a novelty tunic proclaiming:

 

"And so it came to pass that my fathers did journey unto Sepharad*; and all that they did bring to set before me, [was] this garment of humility."

*believed to mean Spain.

 

The letters page had a Cuneiform note (in Akkadian) which translates thus:

 

"To the editor: Peace! And now: In future I would like to receive my subscriber copy in the correct language. After a hard day beating my workers in the fields, the last thing I want to do is pick up my copy and find it in that horrible reedy stuff (rather than a nice, reassuringly-weighted tablet of clay) with articles which read: bird, mound, man-sitting-looking-like-he's-(as the Israelites say)-turned-aside*, sqiggle, sitting man again, squiggle-squiggle snake!"

*I should not ask about that, if I were you.

 

Even rivet-counters abounded then:

 

"I note with disappointment that the drawing of the chariot from Ur in last month's edition was actually an example from Uruk; examine the axle end-caps - are thay not cast of finest bronze? Look upon the leather work - was it not formed of the unblemished hides of stout oxen by the strong hands of skilled craftsmen?"

The editor blamed scribal error and had the offending scribbler put to death.

 

Truly, "There is nothing new under the Sun"!