Smiffy2

My condolences, Robert, and my best wishes to you and your family.

It’s a device for getting whelks out of boy scouts’ hooves.

Morning (just) Robert, I feel for you, and I hope the last stage of your father's journey is pain and anxiety free. In the shed today, generally tidying and chucking out carp. In the past couple of years Julie has encroached more and more into the workspace, so much now that we are looking at getting another shed for her! I am making space for a Warco metal guillotine, which has to be firmly bolted to a bench. I originally bought it last April, but it never worked - jammed solid and showing signs of exposure to the elements... After many delays I went to Warco's workshops in Chiddingfold - a bucolic part of Surrey - and found a replacement waiting for me. Excellent service, and a walk around their showroom induced huge lathe and milling machine envy. If only... Julie is off out, re-stocking in Wimbledon and visiting the Scrap Scheme. So I suspect a couple of bags of 'stuff' will be coming home with her. There's scarcely room to swing a cat, and it's not a small house. OK. Cooled off a bit, back into the shed.

Whelkmen won't be out again tomorrow. For some reason they are all jumping up and down on their coracles.

I had a vision of a huge black pudding, and a guy in a flat cap carving chunks into a stotty cake...

Morning all. The sun is shining, the wavelets in the harbour are glinting, one might almost say smiling in the warmth of another fine day here at Carshalton-sur-Mer. Sadly the whelkmen are still abed, as today is the feast of Saint Campavan of Wycombe. Back in the eighth century Campavan was an early Christian proselytiser who travelled from place to place to spread his message (and I suppose His message as well) in an elaborate ox-drawn cart. The problem with the cart, equipped as it was with two bedrooms (paliasse rooms, actually), a kitchen and a full Roman bath, was extremely slow, and used to impede other traffic on Watling Street, Ermone Street and the Fosse Way. Eventually other travellers, so enraged by Campavan's slow progress, hauled him out of his wagon and crucified him just outside of Portus Dubris. He was on his way to Gaul, but had been holding them up all the way along Watling Street since they left Londinium, two days earlier. He is honoured by the Whelkmen due to his fortitude when being told to get out of the way and hurry up, as this is a common occurrence for them in their working lives. In other news, we had lunch with old friends at The Wharf, Teddington yesterday, and apart from a visit from Lloyd in the Lemon Van nothing much is planned today. The family continues to be both wonderful and frustrating and Julie is now getting physio for her knees. Oh, and Baz and I would like you all to remember that Jordan Pickford is a product of Sunderland's Academy of Light... So have a good day, but be careful on Watling Street.

You could try Emmaüs in Wallington. That said, I had little success when I tried it.

Bloke five doors down did the copper nail trick. The tree fell on his house...

Oh yes. It's dreadful, and has cost us window winder mechanisms, wiper blades and much money in washing. And Lime trees have deep roots and cause subsidence... Our council was petitioned to replace the trees, and to be fair to them they put it out to consultation. Not just to the people affected by the trees, but everyone who could see them. People from several miles away like the green skyline, apparently, so we were over-ruled. And it isn't just the sap. The sap attracts small insects which leads to black deposits firmly glued to every surface, not just the cars, but the sticky pavements, bins and even the front of the house. I hate them.

We had a tree break in our back garden, and had to get emergency tree surgeons out. Cost £500. If the tree had fallen (it was snapped halfway up and propped up with a ladder) it would have taken out the back of our house and our neighbour's conservatory (at least), probably cost c£50k. I asked the insurance company if they would pay the £500, they said no, but if we had let it fall they would have paid for the rebuilding without question...

That sounds very much like it, as the train was on the Eurotunnel line, just outside of Ashford (well, a few miles). Thanks for the info. It's a pity the train can't run straight through, as I believe some freight trains do.

On the drive back (north on the M20) I saw a train crossing a bridge in the distance. I didn't see the loco but the carriages were brown and cream, possibly Pullmans, and there was an EWS on the back. No sign of smoke or steam. Then a Eurostar crossed over going the other way (east-west). Anyone got any ideas?

Home. A long drive, and the bit from the M25 to home took longer than the M20 to the end of the M25... And the cockwombles were much in evidence. Much worse than in France, where they just drive a bit too close. No whelks, I'm afraid, Baz. There's a bit of a cloud over shellfish on the Normandy coast at the moment - campsites keep chucking their sewage straight into the sea. I did have some lovely whelks in Cancale in Brittany last week, though. If you haven't been there you must go. Now just waiting for the fish and chips to be delivered (I love living in post-Imperial Britain) and then snoozums.

Morning all. Overcast but nicely war, sunny spells forecast. A day of tidying up beckons, as we depart for England tomorrow, and the next time we are out will be with Henry and Daisy. I need to sort out the utility room, but assorted injuries are making it hard work. I had a bad moment yesterday when I caught my mangled finger when undoing the seat belt - it was such agony that I went into that sort of shut-down phase of pain. I ended up sleeping all afternoon, which was a pity because we had had a superb lunch at a little restaurant in Vire. Over to dinner with our English neighbours tonight - at 6pm! They do things differently up north. He's cooking belly of pork, which I do like. Teetotal tonight as we have a five hour drive tomorrow, and we always share the driving. Then I've the job of official photographer at Henry's birthday party. Have a good day, all. Especially those in distress.

You should worry, I've been using an angle-grinder.

I'm in Normandy, and this is a regular thing.

l'Armee de l'Air has just been over - almost supersonic, at zero metres, then curvetting in formation. Two Mirage 2000s. Exciting!

Morning all, from a rather damp and cool (for June) Normandy. The black dog is still in his kennel, but my hands are refusing to come out to play - arthritis, and I've given them a bashing, in all senses, this last week. So light duties today, except for trying out the angle grinder. Jamie - the joy of the dechetterie! We did a big run earlier, and it was the usual. People parking in such a way as to block everyone else, and incomprehensible instructions from the extremely fat (and less than welcoming) attendant... Yesterday I made the decision to change the gas bottle in the cooker. For those that don't have experience of such things the connection on the gas bottle (the detendeur) can be either the traditional type, with left hand threads and such, or a more modern push-on. We have gone from the traditional to the modern with everything except the cooker, so time to change. When I did it I discovered that the tube was due to be changed. Before 2010... So a new tube and detendeur, and much cleaning behind and under where the cooker had been... Then we finished off our tea & coffee worktop with a Paris street sign. We're off back to England on Thursday, so I need to email the gardener (to get him to do jobs he agreed to do months ago and which are annoying our neighbour), go and see said neighbour with a bottle of pink fizz, do the 'take home' shop and clean. Best wishes to all, especially those being growled at, and of course Debs. Would love to hear from you!

Jamie and Beth - I don't know if you know of this custom, and I can only do it virtually, but it is traditional to open a bottle of bubbly in a new house, and put a coin in a slot in the cork. Keep it and you will always have wine, money and good fortune!

Jamie and Beth - bienvenue en France!

Morning all. Thanks, Andy, I'm soixante-neuf aussi, and I have awoken a bit stiff and sore. If you see what I mean. Where is Kenneth Williams when you need him? Will be taking it easy today - I've been given the day off - and apparently the sanding centre still works, I'm just in the doo-doo for smashing the table... But at least I don't have to cut the grass. Have a good day, all. The sun is shining, the birds is singing, the day is riz. I'm off to bed until Le Mans starts.

Feeling a bit battered because I managed a massive faceplant late this afternoon. When we got the new table we had to take out the old one, the idea being that it would become a workbench in one of the outbuildings. I had to dismantle it to get it out and then remantle it in the garden. Then carry it in to the outbuilding. In the meantime Mrs A had been doing some woodwork in the out-b on a workmate, right where I wanted to put my bloody heavy table. She had also left out the power cable which had got caught under the door... Then she went for a siesta. So to put the table in I had to move the workmate which had a bench sanding station on it (about 10kg worth). I picked it up and started towards an old patio table we use to dump stuff on. The floor is cobbles, and some are missing - guess what? Straight forward, with the sanding machine in my hands. Hit the mower (it's a big b*gger) then headfirst into the table, which fortunately disintegrated into nasty sharp shards and absorbed a lot of energy. And when I fall over there's a lot of kinetic energy... I landed on the sander, which had my hands under it. Gashed a finger or two, and my thigh (I was wearing shorts) and done damage to both hands, face and shoulder. Not nice. Got me out of cooking dinner, so I had a French Kebab Sandwich. Which was interesting. And the day started so well...

It has to be money laundering, surely? (Allegedly)

At 10:45 three guys from Emmaüs brought a table we bought last Wednesday for €80 and €25 delivery. Bargain. It's a plain oak thing, cheap because it's missing its leaves - which we don't have room for anyway. Delivery guys very nice, cheery greetings and handshakes, straight in through the window. All done by 11am. Julie was so pleased she picked some wild roses from the bank across the lane. The old table (c1990 IKEA) is now a workbench in one of the outbuildings. But we do need to replace those chairs!

Back in 1970, when we wanted to cook pasta (in Sunderland) we had to get our olive oil from the chemist. True. But unbelievable... Having looked at the Sunderland Facebook page it may still be the case - or at least the contributors wish it were.