Mountain Goat

All these questions we need to ask ourselves if we are going to build our next model railway, especially if we are starting from scratch. Most of these decisions depend on the circumstances that we find our selves in. Sometimes finding space is not easy, but at least there is the garden as a possibility (Remember, if one is using the garden all control equipment MUST be kept dry. Basically, any equipment that has a mains supply feeding it needs a sheltered enviroment like a shed, and it is best to consult an electrician if one is not sure). But lets assume we want to make an indoor layout. (Many of the same questions can be asked about an outdoor railway as well). Portable Or Permanent? Small Or Large? All of my past layouts except one have been made permanent, or semi permanent (E.g., on an 8x4 sheet of chipboard when a teenager). However, as I have had to take down a permanent layout because of a room change or at one time in the past when I had a good job, I went for a mortgage and bought a house. Later I found I hit a bit of a crises and quit the job and sold the house and paid off the mortgage. Now every change like this in my life meant that as far as model railways are concerned, a bit of a disaster. So..., as even now future relocation is planned, to build a permanent layout is not an option. So for me a small portable layout is the answer. One that I can bring with me if I move in the future. They say small is beautiful. Well. One thing I have noticed is that track cleaning hardly takes any time at all! Where on my last permanent layout, if I was to clean every rail before I commenced running (And I needed to as running was averaging once every other week), it was taking me around 35 minutes each time, so having a small layout has its luxuries! Another advantage to it being portable, is everything is easy to work on. It is like working on the engine an old car like a Citroen 2CV or a Triamph Herald or Vitesse. The 2CV.. A few bolts and the wings come off and it is just engine and the chassis with its front wheels! (I have never owned either vehicle but have longed to have such an easy car to work on, though my current car is not too bad... Though if a bulb goes... "Why do they make these cars so awkward?" I've seen worse!) Permanent layouts can be quite a pain to reach wiring etc., and those occasions where one has to clime under to solder something where safety glasses are not enough.....! Small Scale Or Large Scale? Standard Gauge Or Narrow Gauge? Whilst for some of us we already have answered this as we have chosen a scale and gauge that we prefer and are building our layout to fit our scale and gauge in the space we have available, I will assume here that we have yet to make a decision. Now there may well be other advantages of certain scales and gauges, but lets consider the size considerations. We may be posed with the following question. "Does one decide on using a small scale which blends in well with the size of the space we have from the scenic perspective, or do we use a large scale where we can see things better for painting and maintenence...?" As though we may not like to admit it, there are times like old cars... That our locos may not be as sprightly as they once were so may need opening up... Or delicate parts may fall off and need fixing back on etc. Generally the larger scales can be easier but they can reach the point where one may need heavy equipment in the much larger scales like 1 to 1, but those are anotjer subject and are not likely to fit in our chosen space we have for our hobby. Now we can all answer this question from our own perspectives and we all would be right, as there is no real wrong answer, and if we take things to the extremes, we can have a very large model run on a very short piece of track and what is stopping us if that's what we desire? The funny thing is with this hobby is that I have seen some modellers enjoy their lovely DCC sound locomotives so much that they just want to play with the sounds and lights, and as their loco has hardly moved while they are having their fun, one wonders why they made a layout at all? Why not stand the model on a short tracked display plinth that is DCCified, and enjoy at ones leisure as building a layout maybe detracting one from the love of the DCC gadgets fitted to ones locomotive. One can join a model railway club to see it run. For me though, I like to build things and while I have been there and done that and still have the equipment at the moment, I am enjoying DC where I can experiment with my home made controllers... It is whatever one is happy with and that is fair enough! Going back to layouts, if one decided that a larger scale is more desirable, then consider the advantages of narrow gauge which by nature was often used because it was built to turn round sharp curves... Some real railways had to use narrow gauge for this very reason! To construct a line in standard gauge through the terrain they were trying to get through would involve so many tunnels and cuttings, let alone bridges and viaducts, that just the thought made some come to their senses and decide to use a narrow gauge hugging the side of the mountainous terrain as the only viable solution. One can certainly use narrow gauge to represent this in model form and in a small space too! My layout curves quite sharply to the point where I am questioning if I should use bogie coaches at all, as the short 4 wheel coaches tend to avoid the visual overhang that bogie coaches give... My couplings are made to cater for sharp curves so this is less of an issue. But to give an example of a large scale in a small space, my layout under construction at the moment is a 7mm narrow gauge oval (With two passing loops etc) in a space of just less then 7ft long by 2 ft wide, so it is doo-able in such a large scale. Now I could have opted for the 009/h0e route or even standard gauge and going with N, but I really prefer large and chunky... And to me, 7mm narrow gauge is the smallest scale which gives me the "Chunky" feel. As my buffers are made from metal, I can hear the little tapping sounds as they come together. It is to me a satisfying little something which adds to the character of the scene. But whichever one goes for ENJOY! And don't take your self too seriously in what you do. We are supposed to be having fun! So if you enjoy ading intricate details, go for it. If you don't leave them out. Stick to an overall scene. If you just like collecting models and are scared to damage them on a layout, buy a display cabinet and enjoy them! Why not get DCC and electrify some lines in the cabinet, and maybe add some backscenes and sit back and enjoy the scene. Some of the models lit up are quite impressive in their own right! If you love watching express trains running at speed and have limited space inside, have you considered the garden? It might be what you've been looking for all along! We are all different. I want people to think outside the box and consider what scales, gauges and concepts may suit the individual the best. I feel there are many in the hobby who have become stagnant because they started with a trainset (Which is still the very best way into the hobby) but they did not really think about what they themselves liked or wanted out of it. And therefore, they have stagnated and need a rethink. I reached that point when I was into 00 gauge. I had the thought that I could replicate everything I saw in B.R. pass as a child. (Before that I was into GWR but though I studied and studied and knew all facts and figures that I needed, it was hard to think of the scene as preserved railways run a mix of everything...) But B.R. blue era for me painted a scene. What I had not realized that even though I was accumilating so many locos and stock that I was considering switching to four figure addresses on my DCC equipment, hardly any of it ever came out the boxes when to paint rhe scene I wanted needed to have such a large layout that it was really unobtainable without starting a whole club of dedicated 00 gauge B.R. blue era enthusiasts to collectively achieve the goal. And then I left a well paid job as I hit my first burnout, and I had to sell my house to avoid going into debt, and I realized how much of a mamoth task the dream had become. So we need to make our dreams achievable and workable to give us the satisfaction and enjoyment that we desire. Since I decided on a different idea and I changed to model in 7mm narrow gauge, I have been enjoying myself soo much, that I am not even too bothered if I don't finish my little layout, as I am in no hurry because I am getting so much satisfaction and fun out of scratch and kitbuilding to my own "That will do" brush painted style, that I can't believe that I didn't change to model in 0-16.5 before. (I did very briefly when I was in my teens but went back to 00 as I was looking at garden railway possibilities. I also briefly tried SM32). But to conclued... If you have stangnated have a think of the aspects that you do and don't enjoy. It could be time for a change! And whatever direction you are heading into, make it practical and achieveable so you can start to really enjoy the hobby! Don't look at others. Look at what you like to do. And what is wrong with collecting those little battery operated trainsets for a fun aspect of the hobby? You may have more satisfaction and enjoyment from one of those then some people seem to get in a lifetime! Haha! And why not! It is our choice of what we love to do. Only we know what thrills us. We are all different. There are no rules or limits except to keep us safe and well. And we need some enjoyment in life. So why not!

This is an import. And it is kind of grey. Not sure what to do with it. Is actually rare as it is a manual 4WD diesel version. Nearly all imports were automatics. It has factory fitted radar, electric curtains etc.

It is one thing that I think the manufacturers should start considering in the future. Peoples budgets. Ok. I have gone years on and off with no income or typically a few months a year working around 12 to 16 hours a week (When I could last work) at minimum wage or below, so I am the exception. But even those who have had reasonable incomes may not have much spare money. I count myself blessed these days just to be on benefits as I could not before. I could not survive if I did not live with my Mum, as to rent a small house costs more then I get, but at least now I am happy. Life is uncertain as I never would have guessed that I would reach a point where I could not even cope with part time work without hitting issues, but what I am saying is... In the past 50 years, the hobby always catered in one way or another for modellers who are on tight budgets, but these days models that have been described as "Budget" are now slipping out of peoples grasp. The real issue is that there is nothing much out there to take its place unless like me one knows how to use ones tallents to make up for ones lack of modelling funds. So I am not complaining on behalf of myself, but on behalf of others who I see could do with a little hand up into the hobby to make a start. Question. Where have all those lovely trainsets gone? It seems that hardly any are being offered from the manufacturers, and the few that are tend to be not exactly starter sets but what I call the medium range sets. (The sets where if one can afford a little bit extra one will buy one). I understand that there may not be quite so much profit in the budget sets, but unless they are available, how do people start in the hobby?

I tried a comitee position before. I just left as the chairman (We were told that it was "His" club) kept over riding the commitee decisions. I not only walked out of the commitee but left the cycling club and have never returned.

So the one in the photo is not a grey import as it is red.

R152 diesel shunter had a higher roofline to make room for a clockwork spring as it was available in both electric and clockwork forms.

Anyone know what locos and stock were used in Pembrey? Especially with the narrow gauge? (I don't mean the later loco and coaches run there during the 1980's and '90's for the tourism. I mean while it was a factory).

A few conditions can be similar. Many people with autism have been missdiagnosed with bipolar dissorder by psyciatrists who are not trained to identify autism. (A few are but most are not depending on which country one lives in etc. It is usually a psycologist who is trained to identify autism.). One of the key differences between thw two is that with bipolar, the highs and lows are reached in a more gradual way and a high to a low typically takes around four days. Those who get highs and lows on the autism spectrum can go from a high to a low several times a day and someties within an hour! While both conditions can seem similar (And not everyone on the autism spectrum gets highs and lows to the extreme like this), and so one can assume "Well... Does it make a difference if an autistic person is missdiagnosed with bipolar dissorder?" Unfortunately it can make a huge difference, as bipolar suffers really need their medication to alter their brain chemistry to prevent rhem from reaching the extremes as for those with bipolar, their brain chemistry has gone off kilter. However, with those who are on tje autism spectrum it happens due to an entirely different reason so to alter their brain chemistry through medication won't just NOT solve the problem, but it will make things much worse! So it is important to get the diagnosis right in the first place as it can avoid years of medicated drama! I have been looking at the motorcycle. I seem to remember the were 400cc. Were they made by Honda?

For me the small end to end area for shunting needs to be connected to an oval for main running. I have tried a long end to end which looked like a type of rabbit warren oval type layout on two levels, and it took trains 45 seconds to go at higher speeds from one end to the other, but even at a slower space of time, it needed my focussed attention. Sometimes, I want to sit back and relax and watch the trains go by. The problem with automatic shuttles is one is limited to DMU type trains which are Ideally suited for this, but one does not get the challenge or the "Feel" associated with running lengthy trains. Don't get me wrong. I love the multiple units, but to me, an aspect of railways is in the locomotive pulling rolling stock. One operation I see on occasions on the rare event of engine and coach running is topping and tailing them. I am glad when I was a conductor working on the railways that the E&C operations I did were not topped and tailed, so I was uncoupling, working the stiff groundframes (They were stiff through lack of use) and coupling etc, as though topping and tailing operations... Even though they save all this, they just don't look right. It is like it is not "The done thing". Question. Diesel electrics and the hydraulics I have worked can be towed as "Dead" units, but what about steam locomotives? I mean... Is there a position in their controls which prevents their cylinders from operating to be towed? Or does another loco at the other end need to "Fight against" the pressure in the steam locos cylinders? I know about diesels through having worked them, but the only steam locos I have worked have been models and they will only tow well if the piston rods have been removed.

One thing I have found is that the autism spectrum is full of contrasts. One person can seem to be only able to give one word answers. The next could be like me who gives a whole chapter in reply and still never reaches the point. To me mind blank does not just happen when speaking. It also happens when I want to fetch something and the worst case scinario for me (Which people keep doing to me and they look at me daft when I ask them to write it down) is when I am going to get something, and someone else says "While you are there..."

Mindblank. You may have noticed that I naturally keep going off on tangents. Well this is because when I talk, I have to do that to avoid clamming up with mindblank, and I get mindblank when I try to talk about a subject head on. I need to talk around the subject to reach the conclusion that I wanted to say from another angle. The problem is I get so used to naturally doing this, that I think like this and it also comes out in my writing. I just thought I would mention it.

I was thinking about how to describe autism best to those who are not on the spectrum, so they can understand. It is difficult as the condition effects people in so many different ways, and many of them are not seen. An example is a stress build up throughout the day can accumilate into a complete meltdown in the evening and only close family would have known about it. Many traits are hidden to those who may not even realize the autistic person is struggling. One issue I have been having over the last fifteen or more years onwards is that because I am percieved as being different somehow, it is assumed I am a thief when I go into larger shops and I have been treated very badly by some shop security guards, even though not once have I taken anything. Staff from Britains largest chain store in the Llanelli area treated me so badly that I can no longer go in. One was on another ones back to look over the toilet cubical watching me on the toilet to make sure I was not doing anything I shouldn't. For 20 years I was followed by many staff. As I have nurvous issues so I can only shop in areas where I can find a toilet... Well. It does not help to see security guards faces peering under the toilet cubicle door or over the top, and when I used the urinals they were watching over my sholders. It became so bad that once eight staff members followed me in the store. I stopped and one had been following me so close behind as a joke, that he had to throw himself on the floor to avoid knocking me over. That day I put the goods back on the shelf and walked out and straight away the police were called. I then found myself banned from other stores as the store staff shared my details. I find I am so stressed trying to shop at larger stores that I am highly likely to end up in a shutdown, so I just can't do it anymore. Some stores I have issues with anyway as stores with long tall isles are too claustrophobic, and since this lockdown I have not been able to queue as I find it too claustrophobic. I tried once outside a small shop and I was on the floor with a deeper end of a partial shutdown and others had to pass me as there was no way I could queue, so the worst thing for me would be if there was a queue at a checkout inbetween isles. I get sensory triggers where certain smells cause me to shut down. Soap smells or the dyes in new clothes etc are a trigger, so carpet shops and clothes shops I can't stay in for long. I can go in, start to partly shut down and then I must get out. One medium sized chain store has a whole long isle of soaps and shampoos which one HAS to walk through to get to the rest of the store, so I am in a partial shutdown before I start if I go in there! This lockdown has made things many times worse as shops put one way systems in place, so if I started to shut down there is no way I can get out of the store quick enough to avoid a full shutdown, so I can't go in even if I wanted to. Only the small corner shops I can really manage at the moment, and only if they don't have a queue... So my local shop I have to keep going back to again and again to see if I can go in when it is quiet, and this may involve a lot of driving around as this shop is a couple of miles away. It is having people queue behind me is where I get most of the issues, so if I do queue, I keep moving myself to the back of the queue to avoid having any issues. But even before the lockdown, one of the reasons I can end up being followed around is that I need to nip in the loo before I shop, and I was chosig to shop at certain stores because they had a toilet. (I find I can't go into the local towns after 5pm as they shut the public toilets and only keep the disabled ones open, so when I get issues, built up areas are out of bounds. Rural areas are fine as I nip behind a hedge on a footpath or something. I know nearly every place I can go between here in the south of Wales and half way up Wales and even beyond! But going back to store issues... I also can have great difficulty making decisions so I will pick up a product to go to pay for it, then take it back... And pick it up again...and take it back... Trying to make a decision... Then finally I will end up buying it anyway as security staff hone in on me! I find it hard to make decisions when I am nurvous, or in a partial shutdown (Where I am trying to estimate if I can take the product to the till and pay for it without a full shutdown or should I put it down and walk out to avoid shutting down. It is trying to estimate by looking if there are other people at the till so I don't have to wait... As I don't want to have a shutdown while in the store.

One thing I am less keen on is layouts operating from the front as often the operators can be standing right in the way of the views of their creation. I never forget one layout which was up high at eye level. The young mans head followed the train and I never once got to see it, and I was the only person there looking at the layout at the time.

Uhmmm. Thinking... Do medical staff know to look for these?

It is an odd thing as really, to be realistic in 4mm scale one needs a board width of around 24ft or more to represent the sharpest of curves, so most of us are compromizing. I have to say that looking at coaches go round curves, that somehow it is more noticeable on standard gauge then it is with narrow gauge. My curves are unbelievably sharp but somehow they do look better then if I use first or second radius curves in 00 gauge. This is mainly as I tend to be avoiding the use of bogie vehicles on my layout, as if anything, they are the main visual culprits that cause the eye to notice the sharpness of the curve. The other thing which tends to be visual is that coupling choice does make a difference. The problem with British and some other standard gauge prototypes is that their buffers tend to be in the wrong position to favour sharper then prototype curves, so one has bufferlocking issues. If the vehicles ended with a flat edge with the only protrusion being a central buffer coupling (Tension lock couplings are essentially a form of buffer coupling, as the coupling loops act as buffers on the model, so technically some issues can be solved by deepening the loops contact area or stiffening the coupling itself so one coupling can't over ride the other. The different sizes of coupling joined together give further issues as one hook struggles and conflicts with the other to cause problems). But going back to the straight edged vehicle, if one uses a central buffer type coupling, the gap between vehicles can be significantly reduced even round very sharp curves, and the visual effect is less of an eyesore. Going back to bogie vehicles, the longer the vehicle, the more noticeable it will be when negotiating sharp curves, which takes me to the thought that shorter representations of coaches actually look visually better then scale length coaches, and have the more useful quality of needing far less platform space to represent a 10 coach express train. (So maybe Hornby's decision back in the late 70's to early 80's to shorten their representations of their Mk3 coaches was pure genius! They did it in such a way that if one modelled a complete HST formation, it not only looked less of an eyesore going round curves (Even 4th radius curves are extremely sharp if one thinks about it), but they allow one to model a representation of a complete set in a much reduced space. (Nothing looks more noticeable then scale length coaches going round sharp corners due to the over and underhang effect they give). Now a good thing about visual perspective as far as our models are concerned, is that if I take the real railway and I sit in the cab of.. Lets say a DMU like a class 150 or something similar. Now when I look at the track it very much gives the illusion that it is narrow gauge... If one scales the strange visual effect down to 4mm scale, one would need around a 14mm gauge width to represent this perspective. (I spent 9 years working on the railways where once I had done other duties I would be resting in the back cab. Now this visual effect was very noticeable, as was the rail height which did look visually higher then it really was). But if one sits on the track with the teain coming towards you (Never really do this!) the visual effect is the opposite. So visually, I found looking directly down on a model then a narrower gauge looks better, but visually looking at railheight to the model the opposite effect is observed. It is actually rather an interesting subject, because when I was into 00 gauge, I seriously considered converting to EM (I felt P4 was too exact to try to work with), but when I joined the railway I found visually, 00 gauge using code 100 track actually looked spot on for the visual effect I had while working them, so I kept to 00. Visual perspectives are interesting. Something that gave a pleasing illusion on a model was on a freelance 00 gauge railway. The modeller (I know he is on another site I am on) was painting his locomotives and rolling stock from a variety of regions and eras all in his own railway livery, and the effect was that it gave the illusion that the models were of a real railway. But what really struck me was that he made old Triang, Hornby and Lima coaches look like they were modern flush glazed models. I was puzzled at first. I said "Isn't that Triang? What have you done to thin out the windows?" He said he hadn't. He just painted a thin matt black inner line on all the insides of the windows. The effect gave a stunning illusion to the eye).

I will make a start. "Would it be possible to convert some of my 00 gauge bogie diesels from my collection into single bogie 7mm narrow gauge conversions?" In theory wheels from the non powered end which do not have traction tyres can be used on the driven end so all that is needed are extra pick ups.... Or do I just sell them as they are as complete 00 gauge diesels, some of which have scarecly ever been used.

Sorry. I am typing too much!

Never had a brain scan as doctors and even I assumed the shutdowns (I was never fully able to describe them) were "Some sort of allergy", and it took a change of doctors almost 30 years later and asking many times over many years for an allergy test before I finally had the simple six point one and it came up clear, and I realized that though certain things effect me (E.g. my throat closes up and if I have artificial sweetners), I realized after all the years of gettig no where with elimination diets that the shutdowns were caused by something else. When I changed doctors it was like coming from a third world into a first world country, as for years my previous doctors... Because they could not find anything, they assumed I was making it up and treated me as if I was. I was limited to one appointment a year which was 3 minutes, and the entire time the doctor was ignorig me and watching his watch! When I finally changed doctors after having my heart violently jump up and down after exercize when asked to play tennis, and my body felt as it was cut in half, even though on numerous occasions I explained both over the phone and visiting the surgery, it took eight and a half months of continual phonecalls to get an appointment to see a doctor. I had initially asked the receprionist if I should go to the hospital and she said "No". It was after then being seriously told off by the doctor when I did see him when he said "Why didn't you see me earlier? There's nothing I can do about it now!", where I then decided with my Mum to change doctors surgeries. (They had once refused to visit my grandmother saying they only come out in emergencies if the patient is elderly. My Mum said she was 82 years old, and the receptionist repeated that they only come out to the elderly and put the phone down on my Mum despite two phone calls!) When I did change doctors, my Mums and my medical records went missing from the last doctors computers, which was a very good thing, as rhe new doctors had to work from scratch as they had nothing to go on.

SOS talisman? Not sure what that is. The great thing is, that I end up on the floor in a semi controlled fasion and before that stage, if I am walking, I start to look drunk. So if I end up in a shutdown, it looks like I am drink and people leave me alone. Due to sesory issues I tend to wear old clothes, so the really good thing is that being left alone means I can recover more quickly. If a fuss was made of me I would start to recover and then go straight back in to another shutdown. Another good (Sometimes bad) thing is that when I start to recover from a shutdown, I can recognize english but I can only catch what certain words mean. It is like I recognize the words but to me it is as if they are a foreign language. Secondly to that, as I am doing all I can to avoid another shutdown, so I am doing all I can to avoid speaking, if someone tries to talk to me (And I can shut down and then start to recover when no one else around me has noticed... As for years I would shut down and get told off for shutting down as to family it looked like I was doing it to be lazy etc... As one teigger I have found is when I sudenly get asked to do sometjing I did not expect to do... A sudden change of plan! So I learnt how to try to hide that I was shutting down by making it look like I was naturally going down on the floor (Or slouching in a chair etc) just before I did shut down, so I could avoid anyone realizing what was going on). Now when I was recovering, because I was avoiding all communication, if someone asked me something during this time, I was not always able to understand english, so I would ask them to say it again and again... And they would get frustrated (And I could still not understand half the words) so they would say "Do you understand?" and I would say "Yes" even though I had not, because I desperately needed to be quiet so I could avoid another shutdown, and pull out from the one I had been in. This has got me in trouble more then once. The strange thing is I can remember what was said, but it can take a couple of months to even years before it clicks into my long term memory, where I can then bring it back to my short term memory to realize what was said. By then I realize why certain people stopped talking to me or were annoyed with me about something... And I lost a good workmade as a friend and had an awkward situation in the last two months when I worked on the railway because of this, and it was only necause I saw another workmate months after I stopped working at the last job as a bicycle mechanic, that I was able to explain... As to tell the truth, even I did not realize what exactly was happening until I had asked questions on the autism site when others had shared experiences etc, and I realized their experiences were familiar!

Another issue I have which I don't know if it is wize to mention, is that both myself (It took years to work this one out) and my Mum have difficulties where if we are stressed we cant have adrenaline. My Mum went into a fit at the dentist once and I also have had great issues, as I find my body starts to shut itself down and I go into a major shutdown where I have to direct all the energy and strength I can to keep breathing through manual focussing on it. I have been lucky that I have kept calm enought that my brain did not totally shut down so I could not concentrate on my breathing. It puzzled me why but I believe I now know why. I am so anxious and stressed at the experience, as I am already shutting down so I can't wait in the waiting room, and am back and fore to the toilet inbetween partial shutdowns due to nurves, or on occasions recovering from the odd full shutdown... So I am fully charged up with a major boost in adrenaline to begin with and I have no way to release that adrenaline. In my teens to my early 20's I would have an injection for a filling, and I would be told to take my time cycling the 7 miles home, but I would be cycling a good 35 to 40mph on the flat because I had such a charge of adrenaline that the cycling and overtaking cars as I made my way home was the only way of releasing it so I could get back to normal levels. I have since been told (And I agree) that I need to be knocked out for any dentistry work, which can be years of waiting unless I am officially diagnosed, so my dentist is waiting for me to be assessed so she can officially get me seen to quicker if I need treatment. I have been knocked out once after an eight year wait to have initially one tooth out, but it ended up being four by the time I was seen. By then my eyesight in my left eye was often going due to the swelling underneath it, but I had to endure that for a month or two and luckily the appointment was brought forward about a month due to a cancelation. The being knocked out part went fine. One minute I was awake and then I was waking up but not awake enough to open my eyes and I heard two ladies chatting and I was thinking "Why are there ladies in my bedroom?"

I have discussed the issue with the local autism team and they said to show my autism card... And I replied "How can I show an autism card unless I have been assessed and know I am autistic?" The man said "Ahhh!" But he did say something could be arranged. Then this lockdown came. Now since then someone on one of the autism sites did tell me that I was able to download and make my own card up, which I have and I put awaiting assessment on it, but then listed the difficulties I had with shutdowns (Not easy on such a small card). I keep it in my wallet, but one issue is that if I am having a shutdown, I could not get my wallet out to show it... Well. I get partial shutdowns first before a shutdown comes and most partial shutdowns I can deal with by removing myself from the trigger, so I can avoid a full shutdown, and I don't think to take the card out, as I am concentrating on avoiding a shutdown at the time.

There are many stereotypes which turn out only to be true for certain individuals. For example, many people believe (If the press is to be believed) that people on the spectrum are not able to to show their feelings, which for some this is true, but for others they are the complete opposite and are overly emotional. Before I knew much about it, my concept of autism was that it was a severe dissability where people are in a vegetable like state and need a wheelchair just to be moved from place to place because on the TV, whenever we saw any autistic person that was what we saw. I never saw a balanced view. Only the worst cases which made it to the news, and I'm not the only one who thought like this. When I found myself on the list to be assessed, we had a visitor and his wife. He had come to see my Mum. Now while we were there he was describing a condition he was getting which was similar to the shutdowns I get, but there was a difference which I can't remember now, but it was one in which I knew it was not the same (Along with the many autistic traits I have, none of which apart from one that I knew werw traits). But anyway. When I said that I was on the list to be assessed, his wife said "Now way are you autistic. Autistic children are in wheelchairs". She is a school teacher who worked in a large modern secondary school which I believe has around 2000 pupils? She has been in the profession for 30 years and I believe has around another 10 years to retire? Anyway. As at that time I had joined a well known American autism site called "Wrong Planet" (Please delete the site name if it is not allowed) which has members from around the world. In the few days I had been asking questions, along with two years earlier I happened to have been dating a lady diagnosed with aspergers syndrome who had a son diagnosed with autism (They now catagorize them all as autism as the main difference in the past in diagnosing between the two conditions was based mainly on the individuals IQ level), and while the son was not able to mask his traits, she was... And she was to me a normal person as most of her autistic traits I also shared, so in dating her for a while I could not understand what aspergers syndrome actually was but I could see the difference with her son, as back then I had not even considered how much masking I had done until I spent some thought going back into my childhood, and also reading replies to posts I had put up on the autism site, along with watching many youtube clips people had put up. It was only then I realized how much masking I had been doing, as I only had considered my manual masking done where if I found myself in a larger group of people for a lengthy time (E.g. in school or college or in a work situation) I was acting thick with a sense of humour in order to connect with people as it was the only way I knew how to connect so I could be on the same wavelength and avoid being Bulleid. But going back to the teacher. In her 30 years of teaching, I can imagine how many individuals who were on the spectrum that she had taught who she did not know were on the spectrum, and most of them never knew themselves. Most autistic people who were diagnosed later in life only find out when they hit some sort of crises which commonly tends to happen from their late thirties onwards, and they hit it because they have gone on for so long without having the help they need to adjust. (Most adjustments one tends to have naturally done by oneself but some one does not realize are an issue so one may not know how to avoid them... A perfect example is that it is only after talking to others via the autism site that I started to realize that these shutdowns I was having had certain triggers, and if I can avoid those triggers, I avoid having shutdowns. I know it sounds so obvious to me now..., But look at it from this point of view. I had been having these shutdowns and partial shutdowns since I was a young child. Now I thought they were some sort of physical issue as they played out in a physical way. I never made the connection to realize that they were a mental overload which played out in a physical way!).

I have driven in wellies to move the car, or when I am driving tractors etc, but in cars it is only when moving them from one place to the other as I am usually quite specific at the shoes I wear due to having sensitive feet and skin. You should see how long I take in picking every little hair or bit out of my socks before I can wear them! I am also a bit fussy when driving. I have been known to chuck people out my car if they chew on chewing gum as no way can I drive when I smell that stuff. Chewing and bubble gum smells turn my stomache, and what annoys me is others know that (Like nieces and nephews etc) and they think I don't notice... Within the confines of the car it is more serious as I can't remove myself from it. I don't drive with the radio on and never want a sat nav. I can chat to one person while driving but have issues if several different people talk at the same time so I don't really like having too many people in the car with me while I drive. But some smells cause me shutdowns as I am hypersensitive to them. (Chewing gum and bubble gum doesn't but my stomache turns with it so it is "Grrrr!")... For example, bleach used in hospitals and other smells there can make me completely shut down if I can't remove myself from the enviroment in time. I once spent six hours stuck in hospital with multiple shutdowns as every time I started to recover the nurse was asking me questions like "What is your date of birth? What day is it?" etc. Now when my brain has overloaded and I have shut down, so I am basically paralized (And floppy. Not able to make my body work) and my eyesight has gone and hearing has gone except foe loud tinitus... Now when I am like that and I then start to recover, my brain needs to rest and not be disturbed so it can start turning its systems back on... So every time that nurse kept trying to force me to speak to her I was going straight into anoter shutdown. After a few hours of going in and out I was able to tell her a word at a time between shutdowns "Stop........... Asking............ Me............ Questions" (Which must have taken me quite a long time to say before she finally got the hint! I was then able to slowly recover!) The problem is that at the time I did not know they were called shutdowns and had anything to do with autism. I knew that the stress of going through the long corridors and the 30 to 45 minute wait in the waiting room along with a mild bleach hospital type smell had caused the first shutdown and it happened when I had just had a blood test (Which I don't like having so it was what tipped a partial shutdown into a full shutdown for me... Now the nurse assumed I was fainting so she had tried to pull me out of a faint, and a shutdown is different. Had I have been in a faint I could habe done with attention and fuss, but a shutdown needs the complete opposite. Ideally a cool darkened large room that I can lie down in, or MUCH more effective then that... Even if it is pouring with rain, lie me down on some grass in a quiet area outside away from direct sunlight (Shade) and I will recover. I don't care about getting soaking wet or cold. I have been there and done that in every other shutdown as I can usually get myself outside just before I totally shut down (As if I don't get out from the enviroment, I risk multiple shutdowns which is the worst case scinario for me because I am not able to communicate that I need to get out to remove myself from the enviroment that has caused me to shut down in).

No problem. Ultrascale wheels are lovely, but the model needs more weight to compensate for the lack of grip to pull more. Is ok for shorter trains though. Class 33 makes perfect sense as the prototypes tended to be found on 4 to 6 coach trains when they came down here. I never saw them pull more then 6 coaches unless they were double headed. Maybe others have seen them pull more in flatter areas of the country? I have only ever once seen a real class 73 and it had come to Cardiff Canton to get its wheels turned as I was told that was cheaper to get them done there then in other areas of the country. Te class 73's are quite narrow looking things! The one I saw was heading east between Cardiff and Newport on the long stretch... The only place in Wales which I know to have a length of quadriple track system that are not classed as sidings. It was running light. The other surprizing DEMU that I saw in Cardiff... Well, I was waiting to work the rather busy 1721 service to Maesteg on a saturday. It was also a rugby day at Cardiff though the rugby fans were heading into Cardiff to watch the match rather then heading away. I was waiting for my train which was normally a single class 143 or possibly a 150 (Back then the 142's were not long in Wales and at first only the Cardiff Valleys Lines traincrww had signed them. I signed the 142's later when my depot staff got to learn them. (Main difference for us were the cabs and the different position of the switches). Anyway. That day the 1721 was late as Cardiff Central platform staff were doing all they can to clear things as all those extra passengers getting off were delaying other trains behind. Now it was getting for 20 minutes late so I was starting to get concerned as if it was too late we would have a struggle to make up time for the journey back from Maesteg, as we only had a 15 minute turnaround on that service, part of which involved contacting the signalman. So anyway... I was waiting on platform 3 as that is where we were told it would be, and then to my amazement, in came a DEMU number 1001 as a 4 car set. I had never seen one before. I did not even know they still exist! It was a surreal sight as it was almost dark and drizzly in early winters day and the yellowy glow from the coach lighting... After my initial amazement, I thought "I can't work this without a guard to act as a pilotman (I am trying to remember if that was the right term to use). Basically if one guard (Same for the driver) had signed the route, and another guard had signed the unit (Train) then one was allowed to work the service between you with the guard whos service it would have been taking overall charge. However everyone left the train and there had been about 20 Wales and West staff (The company I worked for) all in brand new uniforms (Rare) and none of whom I had ever seen before (Also rare). Luckily behind it we had a class 143 waiting to come in behind it. That was our Maesteg service. A few weeks later I happened to have the managing director of the company, Chris Gibb ask permission to come on my train. I liked Chris because he was always good to talk to and he was very welcoming. I asked about the DEMU. He said "Funny that you say that. Do you know I contacted every company and every preserved line I could to see if anyone anywhere had spare coaches or something to use for an extra service as they were expecting a lot of extra passengers due to the rugby, but as elsewhere in the country there was another game on the same day (Football?) number 1001, the Southern DEMU set was the ONLY train of any sort abailable. There was nothing else, not a single coach left in the country for that day... The extra staff were hired just for that one event to help close the doors. It was a memory that has stayed with me to this day.

These are impressive models. I tend to use wood or tin... Sometimes plasticard... I have in the past tried card when younger, but my construction techniques needed to be improved upon as I was younger then. I am thinking of giving card a go just to see how things turn out... But I will use free card from packets of things.