28XX

Into the Valley - Skids

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick’s Day.

Mick, the bartender says, “You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy”

Paddy replies “OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then.”

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.

“Dammit” he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face.

“Oh muther of God, this is gettin' worse,” he slurs.

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he’ll be fine.

He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.

He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement.

He falls flat on his face.

“I’ll never make it home,” he mumbles amid more curses.

He can see his house, it's just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.

He takes a look up the stairs and grunts “No way”. But he crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says “Maybe I can just can make it to the bed.”

He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.

He says “To hell with it” and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Bridie, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, “Wake up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?”.

Paddy says,

"I did Bridie. I was totally scuttered pissed. Me head’s throbbin’. But how’d ye know?”

“Mick phoned ... You left your wheelchair at the pub."

Englishman in New York - Sting

if not for you - George Harrison

Down Town - Petula Clarke

London Pride - Noel Coward

Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benatar

Step inside love - Cilla Black

Snap!

Give a Little Love - Bay City Rollers

Mornin' all x

The Definition of "Coincidence"

A chicken farmer from Suffolk went to the local bar ...He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne.

The woman said: "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne."

"What a coincidence" - said the farmer, who added: "It is a special day for me .... I am celebrating..."

"It is a special day for me too ... I am also celebrating!" - said the woman.

"What a coincidence" - said the farmer.

While they toasted, the farmer asked: "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today, my gynaecologist told me that I was pregnant!"

"What a coincidence!" - said the farmer - "I am a chicken farmer and for years, all my hens were infertile, but now they are all set to lay fertilised eggs."

"This is awesome!" - said the woman. "What did you do for your chickens to become fertile?"

"I used a different cock" - he said.

The woman smiled and said: "What a coincidence..."

Summer The First Time . . . . . Bobby Goldsboro ..        OH dear! ! ! I'm sorry. . . . HONEST!!!!!.

You may jest. But this came out at just the right, or maybe wrong moment, in my adolescence, and it never fails to make the hairs stand up on the back of my neck.

Here I Go Again - Whitesnake

(Theme from a ) Summer Place - Percy Faith

Killing me softly (with his song) - Roberta Flack

Born to be Wild - Steppenwolf

Little Miss Can't be Wrong - Spin Doctors

When the going gets tough - Billy Ocean

Bin day is one of those odd things which can defy the forces of modernisers. I've said before that my dad has lived in the same house for 61 years. Bin day has been Thursday throughout that time.

Bus numbers is another. 144 Malvern to Birmingham is one I know to be well over 50 years old.

Go and measure / photograph one. Severn Valley, Didcot, South Devon Rly, or Tiverton museum

Na na hey hey (kiss him goodby) - Supremes

As to traditional designs using antique reclaimed or facsimile materials, it has been done superbly by the SVR at Kidderminster and is being done currently by the GWSR at Broadway.

So what you do is decide on the internal space you need for the types and quantity of exhibits you intend to display, choose a set of design cues and features from the railway and era of your choice, copy and paste. It's that simple.

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the chemists, walked up to the pharmacist; looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her handbag and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

How does an ugly building improve the understanding and enjoyment of the exhibits?

Wot gorilla? - Genesis