Tall Tales

[Welly]

 

Another trip was the night of the great Hurricane( 1985/6?) in the front cab again, 

 

October 1987 - I remember that event.

[Northroader]

I once had a pleasant day riding round Cardiff Swansea and back on light engine 1042. Not a pilot engine as such, but H.M.Q was visiting Swansea on the royal train, and Cardiff Division management felt their backsides would be better covered if a spare loco was handy.

[manna]

G'day Gents

One day in the middle of summer I worked a semi fast to Waterloo to work a rush hour train back, after arrival I had a meal break, then I wandered back to my train that I had to work, there were people rushing about everywhere, as I walked along the concourse a unit juddered to a halt only a few yards away and within seconds half a dozen little sparrows were picking the dead insects off the front of this unit, I stopped to watch but got run over by rushing passengers?

My train left just after 5pm, I started checking ticket as we left the end of the platfom, and by the time we pulled into our first stop, Winchester, I'd only done 10 coaches out of 12, I managed to get them done by the time I was relieved at Eastleigh?? 

Another job that I liked was the last up pass from Salisbury to Basingstoke, all stations. Usually a class 50 towing a 4 car TC unit, early every station, and on summer evenings a couple of minutes wait was bliss.

manna

[manna]

G'Day Gents

When I started at KX the senior driver had a seniority of 1922 ( mine was Oct 1970) so there was still a GNR link at that time, plenty of LNER men still, talking of seniority, there was a influx of firemen in the late 50's from Norwich and Norfolk in general in to KX a lot of them in there late 30's so they went straight in to the top links, but because there were the same age as there home depot drivers they had only done local and shunt jobs they had very little main line work it took a bit of time for them to adjust to lodging turns to Newcastle, I worked with quite a few at my time at the Cross.

One night on a loco hauled stopper to KX we stopped at Hadley Wood, pitch black, except for the platform lights, only a couple of people about, unusually the driver had a transistor radio going on the loco, normally very poor reception on a loco, but this night nice and clear, we must have been early, because we sat there for near on five minutes, while on the radio we listened to ELO, 'Last train to London' close, but I think there was another one behind us  
manna

[tomparryharry]

My sympathies are not with you on this one, Blue.  When the original 'Jaws' was first shown in cinemas in Cardiff I went to see it with the sort of 'friends' who never let you live anything like this down, and screamed like a girl when the bloke's head falls unexpectedly out of the hole in the bottom of the sunken cabin cruiser.  As if this wasn't enough, for the later scene in which, during a period of calm in the story while the 'chum' shark bait is being casually dropped over the side of the Orca, our heroes being in relaxed and laid back mode, when, for shock effect, the shark suddenly appears all eyes and teeth looking as if he hasn't had breakfast yet, filling the screen and sending poor Sheriff Brodie into shock, I reacted very much as I would have had I actually been standing next to him on the boat; I stood up and screamed 'F**k' at the top of my voice in the hope of convincing the shark that it was more scared than I was.  I had the decency to be embarrassed about this but not the decency to own up to the cinema manager...

 

It actually was a long time before I went back in the water!

I took a young lady to the Capitol in Cardiff to see Jaws the first time around. The scene Johnster described also befell to my lady. Nice pair of whitish jeans too....

 

Ian

[The Johnster]

At least she had the excuse that she was a girl when she screamed like a girl.

 

My embarrassment took place in the Odeon IIRC, and (fortunately) did not take place in the company of any young lady.  I trust you were able to adequately comfort her as of course a gentleman should in such circumstances...

 

I likes a nice pair of white jeans, me.

[manna]

G'Day Gents
The first thing you have to do when you arrive at a new depot, besides letting them know that your there, is Road Learning! Now I'd only been to Leeds a couple of times and mostly just passing through, never been to most of the places I now had to learn, first up was Ilkley and Bradford, Forster Sq, up and down, up and down, it starts off ok because it;s new but after a couple of days??? then Skipton, then York then Doncaster,Huddersfield, man it can give you a headache, but it do'es sink in, then you start to enjoy it, your comfortable with it, so you start to sign the lines, then work them, thats when you get to Know them. But there are pitfalls ( can you talk Yorkshire) I had a job to Marsden, all stations from Leeds and back, selling and collecting tickets, at Slaithwaite couple of people got on, as the train moved off I walked through the train calling 'any tickets from 'Slaith-Waite' when an older lady touched my arm as I passed, I stopped and looked at her, she looked at me and said ' Your not from round here are you' very sweetly, I replied 'no I'm from London' 'I thought so' she said ' Slaithwaite is pronnounced 'Slough-it'  
manna

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[terra-nova]

In the spirit of the title of this topic , I have heard a railway story which I've always assumed to be a tall tale because I've heard it told several times but based on different regions and locations and it was clearly about 9th hand. I hope that in telling this tale no libel is felt.

 

Anyway it goes like this - A senior manager commuted by train from home to his office, and liked to travel up front with the driver. He was a friendly and popular man so the crews liked his company and he got to know what was going on.

 

One day returning home , he must have been a bit confused or forgetful , but as he was walking up the platform, the whistles started blowing , so he ran and just made the cab in time. Comments were passed that he had left it a bit late , but conversation then turned to other things.

 

Later as they approached his stop, he thought the driver was leaving braking a bit late, so much so that he eventually said something.

 

The driver gave him a concerned look back and just said i'm not braking because we are first stop XXXXXX. -  a station far down the line. Allegedly a very slow and very temporary speed restriction got the manager off soon afterwards.

 

The story either places XXXXXX as Exeter , Preston or York depending on the version told. But I am sure somebody on RMWEB will know the definitive true version.

[The Johnster]

I was, with my crew and two other Canton crews, stranded late one very cold winter's night on Newport High Street station in the little upstairs traicrew cabin they used to have there when the panel, aware of our predicament and under duress from Control as some of us were to be 'over our hours' for the following evening, rang the cabin to say that there was a light engine on the way down from Severn Tunnel which he would stop in the down platform to give us a lift home.  We all piled out into the freezing cold and a few minutes later a 47 rolled up and stopped.  It already had a driver, secondman, and guard in the leading cab, and very soon it became sardine time in there, so one of the drivers opted to sit in the rear cab for the short run to Canton.  

 

The 47s secondman, having given up his seat to my driver, checked that the other man was aboard at the rear, and gave the tip; we were off. down the main under greens all the way.  Running at 75mph, the speed limit for a light engine and the line speed over the Marshfield levels, we were soon home, and as it turned out not a moment too soon.  Climbing off the loco on the reception road at Canton, I looked back to see the other driver on the steps as if he'd just vacated the cab, but not moving.  We investigated, and found him frozen more or less solidly to the handrails!

 

He had, he explained after we'd thawed him out, been unable to open the cab door.  They could be a bit stiff on a 47, but usually yielded to a good booting of the kick plate provided; the cold weather had apparently frozen this one in solid!  12 miles at 75mph in such conditions is beyond my capacity to imagine, but he said it was ok after the tunnels because he'd lost all feeling by then.  A couple of trains had passed us on the up as well, and I was very impressed by his comment that he'd been afraid his arms would snap off as they passed, but he'd more or less lost consciousness by then and was beginning not to care very much.  That he hadn't fallen off was only due to the fact that his hands were frozen to the engine's handrails, and that he was alive was due to the shortness of the journey; not much longer and he'd have clearly been too far gone to revive!  It was with some difficulty that we got his fingers off the handrails, and we left a fair bit of his skin on them.

 

His comments on the sort of bas**rds who couldn't be bothered to stick their heads out in the cold to check he'd got into the cab were strident, understandably, and the 47[s secondman was most apologetic, though we were all equally to blame.  We were very lucky that he'd survived at all, and very impressed that he was ok once warmed up with tea and brandy in the running shed foreman's very warm office.  He was off for some time after that as he'd lost a good bit of skin from his hands with our gentle handling of him; at that stage we were by no means certain we were not dealing with a corpse.  I forget how the incident was covered up, but it was and we were all more careful after it.

 

I for one always checked that anyone getting into a back cab had actually got into it through the door after that!

Edited August 8, 2017 by The Johnster

[The Stationmaster]

In the spirit of the title of this topic , I have heard a railway story which I've always assumed to be a tall tale because I've heard it told several times but based on different regions and locations and it was clearly about 9th hand. I hope that in telling this tale no libel is felt.

 

Anyway it goes like this - A senior manager commuted by train from home to his office, and liked to travel up front with the driver. He was a friendly and popular man so the crews liked his company and he got to know what was going on.

 

One day returning home , he must have been a bit confused or forgetful , but as he was walking up the platform, the whistles started blowing , so he ran and just made the cab in time. Comments were passed that he had left it a bit late , but conversation then turned to other things.

 

Later as they approached his stop, he thought the driver was leaving braking a bit late, so much so that he eventually said something.

 

The driver gave him a concerned look back and just said i'm not braking because we are first stop XXXXXX. -  a station far down the line. Allegedly a very slow and very temporary speed restriction got the manager off soon afterwards.

 

The story either places XXXXXX as Exeter , Preston or York depending on the version told. But I am sure somebody on RMWEB will know the definitive true version.

 

No doubt true and it has no doubt happened to numerous of us over the years although undoubtedly the most amusing/embarassing was on the first day of a revised timetable when a goodly part of the Divisional Passenger Train Office at Reading got on a DMU at their usual time at their usual platform at Reading station in order to go home and said train sailed through all of the various stations at which they had expected to alight and didn't make a station call until it got to its first booked call (Slough) in the new timetable.  That was really good for a laugh, especially among those in the Freight Train Office.

[Northroader]

There was the time the Pope came to Cardiff, so we were all on our toes to get everybody home. My assistant did a very concientious job, and finally decided to go home mid evening (he lived in Caerphilly) There was an e.c.s. standing in the black shed, so he got on for a lift up the station. Trouble was it didn't stop at the station, just sped off eastwards, on through Newport, and finally stopped at a signal at the end of the up loop just before you go into the Tunnel. He quickly scrambled off, and trudged back up the cutting to STJ station. There aren't that many trains stop there in an evening.

[manna]

G'Day Gents

 

Kings Cross at one time used to send crews on the cushions to Doncaster, to work trains back to the Cross, one particular night they sent a Driver to 'Donnie' to work a train back, the up train arrived but no Driver, after a couple of phone calls,  Kings Cross said yes we sent Driver ***** to 'Donnie', well 'Donnie' had to scrape up a Driver quick smart to work this now 'Late' train. Then  the question had to be asked, where was the Driver, he'd been seen to get on the train at KX, it transpired, that the Driver had fell asleep just after leaving KX and had woken up at Newcastle !!!, and as there were no trains to work back, came all the way back to KX on the cushions.............and got paid for his days labour.

 

manna 

[manna]

G'Day Gents

 But at least in the late 80,s BR were at last coming to grips with the fact that there first gen. diesel units were falling to bits! they must have paid for themselves a dozen times over, the 141,s 142,s and 144,s were at least new? and on reasonable track gave a fair ride but have a tenancy to bounce, when I worked them to Knottingley and Goole they gave a bit of a rough ride from Castleford, they did not like that sharp curve as you left Castleford, and bounced a bit until Knottingley after that not to bad again.
On the Ilkley and Skipton trains, never found them to bad,although I did end up sitting on a guys lap once, just before Guisley. Could be rough at Junctions (depending on speed) Guisley to Shipley, yes they could be rough. 
Leeds to Sheffield via Barnsley, not to bad can't think of any bad patches, and via Moorthorpe they could bounce a bit.
Could get very rough, around Man Vic, both ways.
Huddersfield men in there messroom had a little sign----SS Bendi Bus Division--- gives you an idea of what they thought of them on the Barnsley line!!
But I'll leave the worst untill last! the 141's on the Harrogate line, now they could rock and roll !more than once I thought we were off the track, Bramhope tunnel had some nasty dips and how they would squeal on tight bits of track.
Any way that's the way I saw them nearly 25 years ago,the question is, are they still plodding around West Yorkshire, if they are! they will probably be a lot rougher now, should be ready for retirement  
manna

[The Blue Streak]

Some Loco's I have driven have been smoother than a "Tomcat peeing on a silk sheet", others have been as rough as guts, sometimes varying wildly between members of the same class.

 

There are a couple of Loco classes in use that only vary between "Rough riding" and "Really Rough riding" and combined with the General deterioration of some branch lines around it's almost enough to rattle the fillings out of your teeth.

 

It's only a half joke that when suddenly things seem to feel smooth momentarily, that you "must be off the rails and running along the ballast" !!

[sir douglas]

 

the question is, are they still plodding around West Yorkshire, if they are! they will probably be a lot rougher now, should be ready for retirement  

 

 

142's are still a mainstay in the north, they do bounce around quite a bit and jolt over rail joins but nothing uncomfortable, saying that though my experiences only go back 15 years and some 144's were recently upgraded and track is generally good condition

[manna]

G'Day Gents

Class 141's, would make a fantastic chicken coop, but not very good trains, although they did help BR for a while, I believe that some went to Iran?? no wonder there sore at us  

 I had the doors on a brand new 158 unit freeze shut at Leeds after a non stop run from York,(very cold, lots of snow) took about 10 minutes to get them open.

I had only had two celebs on my trains, the first was on the southern, picked up Patrick Moore at Hook or Fleet, and checked his ticket (on his way to Waterloo) the other was Freddie Truman who got on the train at I think Settle and I sold him a return to Glasgow, he sat in the smoking section and puffed away on his pipe (class 156) Can see him now  

While at Leeds depot I was sent to York for fire training, when the day arrived there was snow everywhere, but it still went ahead, on my arrival in York I thought I'd take a few pics of the city walls, I steped off the footpath and took a couple of pics and on stepping back onto the footpath, went flat on my back, at least the pics came out?
Only a couple of days later I was back in York but this time I was to work a train back to Leeds, but the signal did not come off and we were cancelled, a supervisor came up to me and said ' get on that loco over there, and report at Leeds if you can get through,( What if we can't ??) what the line condition is like' So I wandered over to the Cl 47 sitting on the outside platforms, is it 14/15, no problems through Church Fenton, (only doing about 20 mph) about a mile from the juncton near Micklefield in a cutting a tree had been brought down across the line by the weight of the snow, I got off the engine and tried to move the tree, it was a bit to heavy to move but I could and did stand on the tree so that the driver could drive over the tree, crunching the top off so I could move at least some of it out the way and clear the track, but to no avail, the area manager was on Micklefield station, and after hearing our report shut the whole damm lot down, what a waste of time  
manna

[The Johnster]

We had a Sunday dmu job which was a bit odd for Canton work, a run to Cheltenham, lay over in Lansdowne Road carriage sidings for a couple hours for lunch, then work to Worcester and home via Hereford.  Bob Monkhouse was a regular on this train, getting off at Malvern IIRC.  He always seemed exhausted, and was sometimes, um, a bit, er, tired and emotional, and had to be woken up at his stop.  Very polite about everything, though, a proper old school gentleman.

[GeoffAlan]

A friend of mine enjoys telling a tale of the York, Sheffield, Leeds triangular steam runs they used to do in the 1970s.

 

Rostered on a nameless Black 5 to pilot 'Leander' a Jubilee on the run. Much competition to get the best turned out loco was fuelled by the rather high handed Leander crew's attitude that a mere mixed traffic locomotive could never be turned out as smartly as their shiny Crimson Lake machine.. This competitive attitude gave much grief to the Black 5 crew who, one day, decided on revenge, in Wolley Tunnel.

 

So as they charged into the tunnel on the run in question, the driver promptly put the Black 5 into almost full gear and opened the throttle wide. Several years of soot heavily impregnated with sticky diesel exhaust fumes, plus a few bricks, were dislodged by the Black 5's exhaust from the tunnel roof, The fireman, my friend  gleefully looked back as they came out of the tunnel to see a very dirty Leander complete with a dirty faced crew who were waving fists, and a shovel, in their general direction. THe Black 5 crew including the Inspector riding on the footplate were highly amused. Many heated words and threats were exchanged at the next stop, but from then on the competition calmed down a little and the ribald inter-crew comments were much reduced. The powers that be at British Railways were somewhat upset by the state of the leading carriages of their train, and an inspection of the tunnel was ordered, until the inspector 'had a word' in someone's shell like and the whole thing was quietly dropped, although for some time Leander's boiler cladding had a few dents that 'nobody could explain'.

Edited August 11, 2017 by GeoffAlan

[The Stationmaster]

When passing through a tunnel on the leading (steam) engine and you require more effort from the one behind you there is a very simple way of getting them to hurry up - pee on the shovel and sling the result into the firebox.  Works a treat every time so I'm told. 

 

BTW this is one of the reasons why anyone who knows the ropes would not be inclined to eat a breakfast 'cooked' on a firing shovel - the other reason is even worse.

Edited August 11, 2017 by The Stationmaster

[manna]

G'Day Gents

One wonderful day at Leeds I had to work a train to Ilkley, nothing unusual in that, sometimes I would go there 4 or 5 times a day, but this day it was in the middle of the rush hour and was made up of two class 144's (luxury, did I hear you say  ) the train was heaving, packed to the max, I was even wondering how I was going to get on, when a gent in a suit came up to me and showed me a gold pass, and asked if he could ride in the back cab, I told him that would be ok, provided he could get the door open, into the cab, a few minutes later, I had to squeeze in so that I could shut the doors and head off, to the wilds of Ilkley, there was no way in the world I was going to get through to check tickets, so I headed to the back cab,Well the fellow in the back cab was one of the managers at Leeds, and we started to talk trains, like this train to Ilkley, being so overcrowded, and there being no spare trains to ease the overcrowding. So I said to him, would an extra half dozen trains make a big differance, 'yes it would' I then asked him would he like them in six weeks! He looked at me as if I had two heads, so I asked him again I could give him an extra six trains in six weeks, you could see his mind going, then, it was, How!! It was easy I said, there are plenty of Electric units being withdrawn on the Liverpool Street lines, just sitting there, nothing wrong with them, just need to be towed up here, and used between Leeds and Doncaster, plenty of seats and the spare dmu's can be used wherever!! He the went very quiet, said thanks and got off at Menston or Ben Ryddings.
Six weeks later I was being trained on the Ex Liverpool St emu's, after that the Doncaster trains were great to work on, no overcrowding, extra trains to Huddersfield and Ilkley  
manna

[manna]

G'Day Gents

Worked a crowded train to Ilkley on day, when we hit the single line junction just before Shipley, the train gave a violent lurch ( a cl 142) just as I was squeezing past the toilets, I lost my balance and collided with a very attractive young lady, but managed to stay on my feet, I then realized that to keep my feet I had put my hand out to steady myself, right onto her breast and my face not that far away from my hand

Another time, on the same bit of line but a bit closer to Guisley the train gave a lurch and I ended up sitting on some guys lap, he had a window seat??

More than once I've ended up in a toilet or in the door well :roll:

Had a Sheffield train to work from Leeds one day, with only a few minutes to go a train rolled to a stop on the same bay platform as us, I went and asked a platform supervisor what was going on, he said that the train that just stopped was a train to Ilkley and was running a bit late and had lost it's platform, I said that I was due out now, he shrugged his shoulders 'he'll be gone in 10 minutes' I said 'yeah, and I'll be 15 minutes late' with that he just walked away, when we did leave, 15 minutes late I walked through the train and appologised to everyone with 'I'm sorry about the late departure of this train, it was due to sheer bloody mindedness on the part of British Rail' which was followed by cheers and calls of 'nice to hear the truth' the driver and myself, did what we could to speed everything up and by Sheffield were only a few minutes down.

manna

[The Johnster]

There was a famous incident in Cardiff not long after the introduction of 152s, when the timetables were in chaos because nobody knew how to work the doors and everybody stood in the wrong place on the platforms, when it was announced over the tannoy at Queen Street, to cheers and applause, that a train had been delayed due to a c**k up at Cardiff Central.  This made the local press and tv news!

[The Stationmaster]

On a train, which had coming from Hammersmith and Paddington, at Edgware Road one day the Driver kindly addressed us passengers,

 

'If like me you thought this was a Hammersmith & City train we are all wrong.  I am told that it is actually a Circle Line Train so if you also thought it was a Hammersmith & City train and you got on it because you thought you knew where it was going the best thing you can do is get off somewhere and wait for another Hammersmith & City train that still thinks it's a Hammersmith & City train and hasn't been transferred into a Circle Line train while you weren't looking.  And I'm the Driver and I thought I knew where I was going.'

[The Johnster]

It's like I said.  All drivers do is pull levers and things to make it go and stop; the driver sits on the loco which pulls the rest of us around and we just sort of get there a few seconds later.  That's how it works, isn't it?  That's what we used to do at Canton in the 70s...

[manna]

 

G'Day Gents

Time to get in the time machine, Wood Green, 1960, imagine the Milky Bar Kid in tan shorts, Oh thats me by the way,one of them days in autumn, sun and cloud, warm but not hot, and this milky bar kid was on his way to Wood Green station, for a bit of spotting, just before you get to Wood Green station you have to pass the large advertising hoardings, which cover the sand yard, but there are a couple of large gaps with large gates to let the trucks in and out, as I was passing one of these gateways, I could hear a train coming, so I waited, as you could see the mainline from there,getting closer now a non stop, and then for a one second view, 'Quicksilver' darted past on her way to the 'Cross' I have no idea what other loco's I saw that day other than 'Quicksilver' but that one second flash will last the rest of my life.

Another time the Sunday school arranged a day out to Kings Cross, cost all of 1/6d with orange juice and a biscuit ( I was about 7 at the time) I can remember that we had a N2 on the front and was pushing my head out of window all the way to KX, had'nt been to KX before so it opened a big new world for me, from York Rd we watched the Pacifics being turned, in the passenger loco, and other Pacifics backing into the tunnels, we sat there for a fair while as it was a good place to watch the workings of a large station, and through the eyes of a 7 year old it was twice as big as it really was, as I learnt later, we were then taken along York Way, and onto platform 1 over the footbridge and up to the end of platform 8/10, were we even touch these big green monsters, they were never cold!! we were allowed to climb into the cab and watch the driver and fireman, throw? a bit of coal in the firebox, sit in the firemans seat and look through his smoke stained window, the heat of the fire, the smell of coal smoke and hot oil, made it for me a day to remember ( I think it was a A1 ) thanks Mr Peppercorn :wink:

manna