DonB

caused by imbibing

making jokes easily

ears, making Semaphore

pleasing Ermintrude and

any station roundabout

and abracadabra magically

aquaplaning along motorways

the main event

protecting pugilistic pirouettes

parading, pouring perspiration (#11)

playthings purposefully protruding

perpendicular, purporting pleasures

pre-paid bonuses pre-empting

then decreases preceding

withdrawal symptoms of

to rise exponentially

banned helter-skelters because

Memory Man A scouser is on holiday in Arizona USA. He's staying in a remote frontier type town and walks into a bar . He orders his drink and sits down at the bar when he notices a native American Indian, dressed in full regalia, feathered head dress, tomahawk, spear, the lot, sitting in the corner under a sign saying 'Ask me anything' The scouser is intrigued and asks the barman about him. 'Oh, we call him the Memory Man, He knows everything.' says the barman. 'What do you mean he knows everything?' asks the scouser. 'Well, he knows every fact there is to know and he never, ever forgets anything' 'Yeah right' says the scouser. 'If you don't believe me, try him out. Ask him anything, and he'll know the answer' 'Alright' says the Scouser and walks up to the Memory Man. 'Where am I from ?' 'Knotty Ash, Liverpool , England ' says the Red Indian. And he was right. 'Alright' says the scouser, 'that was easy you probably recognised my accent. Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?' ' Liverpool ' says the Memory Man quick as a flash. 'Yes and who did they play?' 'Leeds United' again without blinking 'And the score?' '2-1' says the Memory Man without hesitation. 'Pretty good, but I bet you don't know who scored the winning goal?' 'Ian St John' says the Indian in an instant. Flabbergasted the tourist continues on his holiday and on his return to Birkenhead tells all and sundry about the amazing MemoryMan. He just can't get him out of his mind and so he vows to return and find him again and pay him his due respect . He saves his dole money for years and finally twelve years later he has saved enough and returns to the states in search of the Memory Man. He searches high and low for him. And after two weeks of trying virtually every bar and town in Arizona he finds him sitting in a cave in the mountains, older, greyer and more wrinkled than before but still resplendent in his warpaint and full regalia. The scouser, duly humbled approaches him and decides to greet him in the traditional manner.. 'How'. The Memory Man squints at the scouser. 'Flying header in the six yard box.'

beating penalty deadlines

Happy New Year to you regulars.......... Decided to not just lurk here today.... At least the Malmo buffer block did its job, hope no injuries?? (my knowledge of Scandinavian languages is non-existant!) Following the Broadband comments, anyone else getting regular digital TV picture break-up? we get disruption usually around 4.20-4.40pm every afternoon and between 9.30pm and 11.00pm. also others at random times. Any clues? We are supplied from Sutton Coldfield. Weather in the Midlands a bit chilly, but snow now all gone.

of Christmas parcels

exceed those demonstrated

How to get to Heaven I was testing children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered. If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?' Again, the answer was 'NO!' By now I was starting to smile. 'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into heaven? Again, they all answered 'NO!'. I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, 'Then how can I get into heaven?' A six year-old boy shouted out: "YUV GOTTA BE FLAMIN' DEAD...." Out of the mouths .....

lounging on sunbeds

full of spawning