DonB

All ALLEGEDLY true..... Not from personal experience!......... IDIOT SIGHTING #1 My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a Twenty pence piece. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change. Do not confuse the clerks at MacD's. [b]IDIOT SIGHTING #2 [/b] We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park ,Nr Watford UK IDIOT SIGHTING #3 I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing any more.' Story from Potters Bar , Herts , UK IDIOT SIGHTING #4 My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimum lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. From South Oxhey Herts , UK IDIOT SIGHTING #5 I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an Irish airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Happened Luton Airport UK IDIOT SIGHTING #6 The stop light on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a Local Council employee in Harrow , Middlesex , UK IDIOT SIGHTING #7 When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'it’s open!' His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans,Hertfordshire UK STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and the scary part is that is they have the RIGHT TO VOTE and REPRODUCE

scurrying past outside

A few questions out of ignorance more than help, .. Do you know of a prototype of a wagon lift at a coaling stage / tower? Would this be a straight lift to tender height, or a wagon tipping unit. If the latter, for side or end tipping? My impression is that the norm was wagons were delivered up a ramped siding for manual discharge. I have photos of a GWR tower at Wolverhampton and a distant shot of Bescot. Neither of these two appears to have an ash disposal facility alongside / adjacent. Sorry to not be more help.

of giant hailstorms

by wind gusts

As someone has said elsewhere (can't think where!! ) "every little helps". And, no, I can't name the latest additions either!

meaning apprentices were

A series of "funniest scenes" from films running at http://www.moviefone.co.uk/2010/07/04/the-funniest-movie-scenes-of-all-time-video/?icid=main|uk-ws-bb|dl7|link2|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.moviefone.co.uk%2F2010%2F07%2F04%2Fthe-funniest-movie-scenes-of-all-time-video%2F

for naughty boys

while Hip-Hop "music" (showing my prejudices!)

getting unusual consideration

allowing identity theft

and pensioner's bus-pass

requesting factor30 sun-screen

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous Brunette sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and He shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! 'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?' 'No,' she replies. . . Wait for it. . It's coming. . The suspense is killing you, isn't it? She says: 'You just happened to catch my eye.' (Oh shut up, I've got my coat!)

the stains enlarged

and Sovereign allegience

defined by lawmakers

unfurling their flags

at colour combinations

Blushes by concealing

THE AUSTRALIAN APPROACH A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.' The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked, 'OK, so how many sales did you make today?' The Aussie said 'One!' The manager groaned and continued, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?' '£124,237.64p.' The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64!! What the hell did you sell him?' 'Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook and then I sold him a new fishing rod.' 'Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engine Power Cat.' 'Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x4 The manager, incredulous, said, 'You mean to tell me...a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a 4x4?' 'No, no, no... he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lady friend and I said... 'Well, since your weekend's ruined, you might as well go fishing.' ---------------ooooooooooooo--------------- (apologies to our friends "Down Under")

in their finery

treasures beyond compare

like over-ripe walnuts