DonB

published anonymously because

who wasn't impressed

hearts towards lesser

and financial repercussions

I frequently dip into ER's but rarely contribute, however you knowledgeable chaps(esses) may provide an answer... We do not feed birds, although our neighbours do, but do get a fair selection of them in the garden. In the last two days we have had a visit from a Bird-of-Prey (Raptor?) which has left the evidence in the form of a circle of feathers, and a small pool of blood. The victims were a smallish pidgeon (monday afternoon) and, early this morning, a Blackbird. Culprit?? I'm suspecting a Buzzard but open to other suggestions... over to you.

Villa implosion caused

caused a rush

Paint Job A beautiful blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. 'Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,' he said, 'How much will you charge me?' Delighted, the girl quickly responded, 'How about £50?' The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, 'Does she realise that our porch goes ALL the way around the house? That's a bit cynical, isn't it?' The man replied, 'You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately.' Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. 'You're finished already?' the startled husband asked. 'Yes', the blonde replied, 'and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.' Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten-pound tip. 'And by the way,' the blonde added, 'it's not a Porsche, it's a Lexus.

pensioned-off aged grannies

containing nuclear waste

preventing further access

within the compound

wooden horse access

hidden within magazine

over syndicated Photographs

while dreaming lewd

preventing prisoners shouting

at shaggy-dog stories

via Hubble telescope

by copious applications

which Doctors say

behind the sofa

and stripped paint

of aforementioned Red-Eye

away on duty