BOARD OF TRADE

I went down to London at the weekend for a bit of a break with "she who will not be contradicted". Amongst other things we went to The National Portrait Gallery,very nice. There was a new portrait of Tony Blair on exhibition. It was an excellent painting but quite spooky really because "the lies followed you all around the room".

We played Bonopoly last night. It's like Monopoly but where the streets have no name.

A scouser is driving along when he notices he is being followed by a police car. The police car follows him for a mile and a half before activating his blues and twos and pulling him over. The officer approaches the car and bends down to speak to the driver when he notices a dog sitting on the front passenger seat with the scouser hitting the dog. He asks him why he is hitting the dog and the scouser replies,"because he's just eaten my bloody tax disc".

They say the Adam's Apple is how you can spot a Transvestite. Personally I think it's b*ll*cks.

Apparently if you type into Google,"Lost servant boy.".....,it comes up "Page not found".

Knock,knock. . "Who's there?" "Dejav." "Dejav who?" Knock,knock.

I was in my local last night and got chatting to this transvestite from Lancashire. He had a Wigan address.

Yes but if the Subjunctive Brothers had come in it is likely that there would have been mayhem.

The French may be in the words of groundskeeper Willie of the Simpsons "cheese eating surrender monkeys" but their Navy are a quite differentmatter. Ready and prepared to go into action at a moments notice. One only needs to look at their Navy's Motto to recognize this,"TO THE WATER,IT IS THE HOUR!"

Saw a builders van being driven with two asian guys in the front.On the side of the van complete with telephone numbers and the name of the firm [professionally done] was the logo,"You've tried the Cowboys,now try the Indians" It looked fabulous.

Fan of the JETS here since 1969,well someone has to be,got the shirt and a few bits,bottle opener lighter etc. Their teams always look great on paper,unfortunately on grass they suck! Ah well,one day perhaps but I've been saying that for over 40 yrs now.

There is a video of one running v well with a rake of coaches on a wooden trestle layout somewhere on youtube.Sorry I cant remember where exactly or give you a link

I may have posted this before so if I have my apologies, Did you know that the brewing process create among other compounds etc female hormones and this is so whether mass produced or real ale{actually real ales usually contain a higher proportion of femaale hormones? Which explains why after 6 pints you start talking sh**e and can't park the car!

Many years ago I was defending a young lad at Court.He was standing trial for unlawful taking of a motor vehicle.I met him at Court and went through the evidence against him which was overwhelming and asked him why he was insistent on standing trial when it was inevitable that he would be found guilty.I pointed out to him as someone who was no stranger to the Courts he must realize this.He said that I simply didn't understand and it was not guilty all the way no matter the obvious outcome.I still coulnt understand his attitude so I again asked him why and pointed out that his mates had all come to Court and said that if I'd noticed the make of car involved I would understand why he couldnt plead guilty in front of his mates.The car was LADA and it would have ruined hus street "cred" to admit taking a LADA...true story.