luckymucklebackit

Les Boys - Dire Straits

Rock the Nation - Montrose

Warrior on the Edge of Time, Hawkwind

One brick paper that I would like to see added to the available selection is the red sandstone as used to build Glasgow Tenaments. Jim

Cannot believe what I am seeing tonight, Brazil 5 nil down in 30 minutes, Scotland have to play this lot in the European qualifiers, god help us!! Jim

Dave - Regarding the point made by dickiegrid100 above, there is a very good description of the way that junction signals should be operated in this web page - http://www.davros.org/rail/signalling/articles/junctions.html, Assuming that the diverging route into the platform is a slower speed route than the main line, the signal would show a yellow or red aspect until the approaching train was in the track section immediately before the signal and had slowed sufficiently to take the junction, only then would the signal change to green. Jim

Elvis Presley: “Crying in the Chapel”

Get Back - Beatles

Don't pay the Ferryman, Chris De Burgh Jim

Been a long, long time since I got one of these, but this one clicked right away, IBM halt in Spango Valley on the Weymss Bay Branch. My offering Jim

Jim

And finally - guess who?? Yep Its Johnny Little Johnny Strikes Again... The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. Molly: "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating." Little Johnny still has his hand raised. Sally: "My family went to see Rock City , and I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate." Little Johnny still has his hand raised. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him for his offering.. Johnny said, "My aunt Gina has a blouse with ten buttons on it, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight."

another political one, possibly a rehash of an old joke.. David Cameron asked the Queen, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient commonwealth and government? Are there any tips you can give me?" "Well," said the Queen, "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." David Cameron then asked, "But how do I know if the people around me are really intelligent?" The Queen took a sip of champagne. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle, watch me and listen" The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send Prince Charles in here, would you?" Prince Charles walked into the room and said, "Yes, Mum?" The Queen smiled and said to Charles, "Answer me this please Charlie. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?" Without pausing for a moment, Prince Charles answered "That would be me." "Yes! Very good." said the Queen. Ah Ha I get it said David, thank you Mam ! And in a great rush he left. David Cameron went back to Parliament He decided to ask Nick Clegg the same question. "Nick, answer this for me." "Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," said Nick Clegg. And then in True Nick Clegg Style he went on to say. "Let me get back to you on that one." He went to his advisors and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer. Frustrated, Nick went to the toilet, and found Nigel Farage in there. Nick Clegg went up to Nigel Farage and asked, "Hey Nigel, see if you can answer this question." "Shoot Nick" replied Nigel. Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Nigel Farage answered, without stalling said; "That's easy, it's me!" Nick Clegg grinned, and said, "Good answer Nigel, I see it all now!" Nick Clegg then, went back to find David Cameron and said to him; "David, I did some research, and I have the answer to that riddle." " If your mother and father have a child who is not your brother or your sister The Child is Nigel Farage !" David Cameron went red in the face, got up, stomped over to Nick Clegg, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! You bloody idiot! It's Prince Charles!" . . AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS PRECISELY WHY UKIP IS DOING SO WELL !

An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall. ''Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes..?'' The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, ''Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be..?'' ''I have absolutely no idea, but every time I talk to a beautiful woman with a stunning figure like yours, she seems to appear out of nowhere. Jim

Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

Keeping this theme going.... David Cameron is visiting America and Barak Obama takes him to a top secret scientific laboratory. Obama is keen to show off so he shows Cameron a Time Machine that can accurately predict 100 years in the future. 'Ask it a question' says Obama, so Cameron asks 'what will England be like in 100 years time?' There is a whirring and a bleeping and lights flashing, then a print-out appears. Cameron looks at it for a few minutes and, getting impatient, Obama says 'come on David, what does it say'. 'Don't know' says Cameron, 'its not in English'. Jim

Dear dear, two months without an update! I have not however been idle, I have been working slowly away on the Northbridge Signalling project and have finished the last gantry, a two three aspect head gantry, both with feathers. The process followed for the other signal heads was followed but the feathers are proprietary eckon products Layout June 2014 003 by d9009alycidon, on Flickr Viewed from track level it looks better, but this shot shows up debris which I will need to clear away. Layout June 2014 005 by d9009alycidon, on Flickr As a break from making signals I decided to fill in the wide open spaces at the platform end, so I made a staff amenities and signing on block, deliberately in a more modern style to provide a contrast from the other older style buildings. The prototype for this building was Chessington station building which struck me as a typical example of an early 60s railway building that could be found anywhere in the UK. Layout June 2014 010 by d9009alycidon, on Flickr For this I used my tried and tested method of a card structure with brick paper coverage. The window frames and sills are plastic strip and the skylight is the Ratio product. For a finishing touch I added the Dart castings fire buckets kit Layout June 2014 008 by d9009alycidon, on Flickr I wanted a bit of difference on the station sign, so I mixed up some light red paint and fine ballast to create the impression of the Scottish decorative stone of choice, the "red chips", this shot also shows some platform edge faults that need corrected. Layout June 2014 007 by d9009alycidon, on Flickr To fill the rather featureless bit between the tunnel mouths, I bought a kit for the standard LNER platelayers hut from the Glasgow show, looks quite good painted up Layout June 2014 015 by d9009alycidon, on Flickr Couple of general views Layout June 2014 013 by d9009alycidon, on Flickr Layout June 2014 011 by d9009alycidon, on Flickr That's all for now, Cheers Jim

OOOOhh errr Misssus Jim

Hi all - Just a quick comment on this excellent thread. Most, if not all of the articulated units and at least one of the parcels vans ended their days at Connell's scrapyard in Coatbridge. They arrived en masse and Calder yard and the surrounding sidings were packed full of them for a few days until the scrapyard took them in and cut them up, as a schoolboy at Coatdyke it was quite exciting to see these exotic units appearing if only for a short while. Jim

"From The Manchester Evening News: "Police called to arrest a naked man on the platform at Piccadilly Station released their suspect after he produced a valid rail ticket." Which confirms that Network Rail prefer monopods to tripods on station platforms Jim

Some quickies to groan at... I couldn't work out why the Frisbee was getting bigger...........Then it hit me!! I just got a text message saying bnag....... Thought that was bang out of order. I keep getting text messages saying "comb your hair" and "wash your face" and "brush your teeth"!!!!...........I think some ones trying to groom me. A nurse starts her first shift at a new hospital and as she walks into the ward, she sees a man in a white coat sitting at the main reception desk. Suddenly he stands up and shouts "MEASLES! MUMPS! RUBELLA! TYPHOID! POLIO and RABIES!" before walking briskly from the ward. "What's going on? Who's he?" asked the nurse? "Oh, that's just Dr. Bryce" says the other nurse "He likes to call the shots around here". Jim

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.... A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.' 'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said. The Receptionist replied; 'Now you have caused some needless embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.' The man replied, 'You should not ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.' The man then decided to walk out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??' 'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated loudly. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'What is wrong with your ear, Sir?' 'I can't piss out of it,' he replied. The waiting room erupted in laughter Jim

First class modelling, from someone who can sympathise about the trials and tribulations of wiring colour light signals, mine still are not fully wired. Jim

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you. " His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"

A few I have gathered together,,,, An Irishman wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible". "1st-Who was born in a stable?" "Red Rum" he replied "2nd-What do you think of Damascus?" "It kills 99% of all germs" he replied. "3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive ?" "That’s easy" he said "Popeye punched the bejasus out of them!!" Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years." His Dad replies "Never mind Son, Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!" Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue. Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too." Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now" 3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?" "No" said Mick "But it shouldn't be long now though, her clothes arrived yesterday!!" A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are busy but do you treat dwarfs?" The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient". Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth. Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum" Now to poke fun at those east of the Pennines... A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet. Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat." Vet: "Is it a tom?" Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us." A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by. Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?" Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?" Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft !" The last is always best: Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?" Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?" Jim