graeme3300

It should be set to music . . . K.D. Lang perhaps??

graeme3300

If you can start the day without caffeine . . . . .

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains . . . . .

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles . . . .

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it . . . . .

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time . . . . .

If you can conquer tension without medical help . . . . .

If you can relax without alcohol . . . . .

Then you are probably . . . .

the family dog!!

A pirate walked into a bar and the barman said, "Hey, I haven't seen you for a while. What's happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" asked the pirate. "I feel fine."

"What about your wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate. "We were in a battle and I got hit by a canon ball, but I'm fine now."

The barman replied, "Right, but what about that hook?"

"We were in another battle," explained the pirate. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. I lost my hand

and was fitted with a hook, but I'm fine, really."

"Then what about your eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate. "We were at sea and a flock of seagulls flew over. I looked up and one of them pooped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the barman. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird poop!"

"Well," said the pirate, "It was my first day with the hook!!"

A woman gives birth to identical twin boys and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to an Egyptian family and is named, "Amal".

The other goes to a family in Spain who name him, "Juan".

Years later, Juan sends a photo of himself to his natural Mum.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

"Dearest," says her husband, "They're identical twins . . .

If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

Long ago a cave girl was sitting on the edge of a cliff overlooking the jungle below, with her cave boyfriend beside her.

It was late in the afternoon, and the boy said, "Please, can we do 'Wee-Wee-Shoo' once more before we go home?"

She pulled a face and said, "Oh no, please, we've had 'Wee-Wee-Shoo' twice already today."

He pleaded, "Oh, just once more before we go home for the night?"

"But my Mum will be waiting outside the cave for me," she said.

He pleaded once more, "Oh please, let's do 'Wee-Wee-Shoo' just once more. I promise I'll have you back home

at the cave before it gets dark."

"Oh, very well," she sighed.

She reached out and took his hand and together they stood up, looked into the setting sun and . . . . . . . .

sang, "Wee-Wee-Shoo a Merry Christmas, Wee-Wee-Shoo a Merry Christmas,

Wee-Wee-Shoo a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!"

A man died and went to Heaven and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, where he noticed a huge wall completely

covered with clocks.

"What are the clocks for?" he asked.

"They are 'lie clocks'", replied St. Peter. "Everyone has a lie clock. When you tell a lie, the hands move."

"Whose clock is that?" asked the man, pointing to one.

"That's Mother Teresa's clock. The hands have never moved, which means she never told a lie," St. Peter said.

"And that one?", asked the man, pointing to another.

"That's Abraham Lincoln's - the hands only moved twice, so he only told two lies in his life."

The man asked, "Where's Donald Trump's clock?"

St. Peter replied, "We're using that as a ceiling fan."

Did you hear that a new big-mouthed dinosaur has been found in America??

A Trumpasorearse!

Archaeologists digging in a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts.

They believe it to be Pharaoh Rocher.

What do you call a Mexican who's had his car stolen?

Carlos 

What did Big Ben say to the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

"I've got the time if you've got the inclination!"

Love is grand.

Divorce is 400 grand!

G'day Paul,

Please don't apologize - I didn't take any of your comments as being critical at all. Many visitors to PB are surprised that kids do sit in the NBHs with their feet dangling and I was simply trying to explain to readers that the practice is somewhat traditional, and certainly quite safe.

As for road traffic, I understand your frustrations completely - particularly on the relatively narrow main road from Belgrave to Gembrook! Speed cameras, always justified by Governments here as being 'for road safety', nevertheless are generally seen by motorists more as 'revenue raisers' because the allowance for being over the limit indicated by roadside signs is only two kilometres per hour. At the same time, the permissible variation in accuracy of car speedometers is 10%! Because of the quite hefty fines and licence demerit points involved as well, people are petrified to even travel right on the stated limit, but often 5km/h under, leading to all sorts of frustrations up the scale to full-blown road rage. To add another level of perceived 'injustice' to motorists is that the operation of speed cameras is contracted out to a private operator, with the State government and Police force getting their cut. The privatized camera cars usually have the camera mounted on the front bumper bars, but the usual give-away is that they park on the roadside reserves/nature strips facing in the same direction as the traffic is travelling so the image is taken from behind. These days I just cruise along steadily at the stated speed limits and don't worry about the 'tailgaters', and haven't had a speeding ticket for about 8 years.

Regards,

Graeme

Paul,

Surprising as it may seem, the safety record for Puffing Billy is exemplary. As far as I know there has only ever been one incident about 30 years ago of a teenager falling out of a moving train, and it's pretty certain that he tampered with the swing door. It's almost traditional for kids to sit in the NBH excursion carriages with their feet dangling out, as can be seen in your photo reference. The NBHs date from 1919 and there have always been a pair of solid safety bars in every side section, together with longitudinal seats with central backrests along the centreline inside, thus leaving plenty of space for adults too. The bars are positioned so kids sit on the wooden top of the side and the lower bar is about waist-level when seated. The upper bar is slightly below shoulder height so it's almost natural to rest one's arms horizontally along the top of the bar, as well as providing a hand-hold. There are no tunnels or road overbridges as hazards anywhere along the line, and lineside vegetation is always kept cut back for reasons of fire safety/fuel reduction in Summer and to discourage kids from trying to grab at any of it anyway! 

I was an active volunteer on PB in the past including some 15 years as a train Guard. My own experience is that passengers are there to enjoy themselves, including the kids, on a friendly and well-run tourist/preservation railway. A kindly reminder of safety, etc. always works/worked better than bluster and was generally observed; and, as most trains have an NBD or NBHD van, it would absolutely make a kid's day at an intermediate station to invite him/her to wave the green flag for the driver to see when I blew my whistle to restart the train. Happy days!

Graeme 

Did you hear the one about the Archaeologist?

His career lay in ruins.

A blind man walks into a pub, sits at the bar and strikes up a conversation with the barmaid.

"Hey, do you want to hear a blonde joke?" he asks.

The barmaid pulls him close. "I think I should tell you that I'm a blonde. So is the security girl on the door.

There's another blonde over there with a black belt in karate, and the blonde with her is a professional boxer.

And that blonde in the corner is out of gaol on parole for assaulting her husband, so . . .

do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters:

"Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times."

Apart from the flaws in paintwork and panel fit, I have often observed in life things like skies and shadows, colours and hues, which if they were modelled would be met with, "it doesn't look real". Yesterday I drove around a harbour here in NZ, a few days after a winter storm, and the water surface was absolutely dead flat, not a ripple anywhere.   Unreal, I might have thought,   ...

 

So I use basic computer programs to alter digital images. I don't see it as much different from adding backdrops, or in my earlier days in bromide photography, masking and burning photo paper under an enlarger to 'enhance' steam exhaust and skies, or adding filters. But it's not quite the same, this photo editing, and it opens a whole new world of errors.

 

I have greatly enjoyed this thread during a few visits, so offer an example of not exactly pure realism, but an enjoyable effect. I tried to pan passing trains with my cameras back in the 1960s with variable results, with a good Hornby model it was somewhat easier!

 

30778_Maunsell_N15_putting_on_fire_2abcd_r800a.jpg

 

Rob

Shades of George Heiron! Great shot.

Graeme

If a special parking sign is required, surely it's important to avoid unintentional humour !!!

Graeme

Many years ago in one of the male toilets (where else?) at a leading University in Melbourne, written boldly amongst other graffitti was . . . "Happy New Year to all our readers!"