AndrewC

A guy sitting at an airport bar noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant; but which airline does she work for?" Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and said, "Love to fly and it shows?" She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, she doesn't work for Delta. A few seconds later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?" She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself and scratched American Airlines off of the list. Next he tried "I would really love to fly your friendly skies?" This time the woman barked back at him "Man, what the f*** do you want?" The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, "Ahhh, Air Canada".

1 liners: My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that 2:30 am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes. I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had £3.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my bum! Do you think I should change dentists? Wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair. I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said I would like to come back as a cow. I said you're obviously not ****ing listening. The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

"Special" as in the Olympic definition of the word? As for an anthem, how about the Wombles theme?

Sunny & hazy in the boring boring borough this morn. Currently 12c. Hmmm, I wonder how many petabytes of storage in the world are taken up by people nattering about the weather. Nothing much happening, SWMBO & MIL are off to the Chelsea Flower show today. I get another day of working from home. All is quiet. If things stay that way I'll nip down to the shed with the laptop and get some modelling done. About time I got the shed reorganised.

Starbucks announces the Bin Latte. Its dark bodied, foamy head, and 2 shots.

As they say at the end of the tour of the Boeing plant in Everett WA. "If it ain't Boeing, I'm not going.

Yea, what he said. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Morning all I lost my fear of snakes when I was about 12. Next door neighbour was a world traveller type. They had a 12' Boa. On a hot summer night it slithered out their basement window into my bedroom. (also in the basement and only about 8' from their window) Woke in the morning with it curled up on the end of my bed. I think she liked me, as it happened a few times over the next couple of years.

and clap for the Wolfman.

I wish. Spending Saturday at Heathrow with the inlaws.

Someone please knock on my shed door once this wedding is over and done with. I have no trouble with the wedding, just the effin' media that has blown the thing all out of proportion. I'm waiting for some channel to show a 3 hour special on Kate's shoe selection, or an in depth analysis of William's underwear selection. TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!

Grahame, you need to chop the top floor off the Wheatsheaf just like Thameslink has done.

These Eyes - Burton Cummings.

Cough splutter, yak, blurgh. Morning all. Still feeling like slightly microwaved death. Managed to do nothing all weekend apart from upload a rather crap photo on my module thread in Overseas. (shameless plug to get you lot to have a peek and push the views over 1000) Light bulbs: I'm convinced the new range of low wattage bulbs are being pushed on us by the Opthamologist Society. As for lasting, I have a pair of Caboose lanterns that were converted to 110vac and presented to my dad when he retired from CP in 1978. The bulbs from then are still going strong today, even though I have to plug them into a voltage converter. Printers: (put your own profanity here) Kodak with their big 'cheap ink' marketing ploy neglect to tell people that unless you manually reset the damn thing to B&W ink every time you print, it will use up the colour inks to produce black instead of using the black ink. Cheeky sods. I had a great Epson printer but it refused to recognise any generic ink cartridges and to replace with the name brand ones were £8 more than I paid for the printer in the first place. Back under the covers with my mug of lemsip.

mornin'. My weekly or so checkin to say nothing new happening. All the nice people at work I thought were suffering from hay fever turned out to be evil plague carriers. Back to bed with Lemsip in hand. (yes I know a mug works better) I've often wondered what slightly warmed up death feels like. Don't recommend it.

SWMBO is up at 05:00 as is the coffee machine. I usually get kicked into something resembling motion by 06:15.

Mornin' all. Just popping in after a month hiatus. Now sit back relax and I'll update you on my last month's activities. Nothing happened. That is all. Carry on.

Morning all from the boring boring borough. Another Monday. (insert your own favourite profanity here) Not much happening as usual. Just 8 more weeks of sitting in an air-less office doing nothing thanks to incompetent project managers. Been spending far too much time on RMweb lately and not enough time actually doing any modelling, so I'm going to disappear into a self imposed exile for a while. Take care and I'll catch up in a month or so. Who knows, I may have even accomplished something.

I say Carry on my Wayward Son - Kansas Seriously, Theme from Shaft - Isaac Hayes

Please check that with Andy Y. There have been other professionals displaying their commissions on older versions of RMweb. You should be able to as well as long as you word it in such a was as to not be touting for business.

I can picture Glen Beck doing a weather report for Fox, then going off on a rant about how bad weather is all down to the Democrats and that if they had a Republican president everything would be sunshine and lollypops.

How about Loo-e Loo-e <coat fetched>

Giardia, good old Beaver Fever as its known in Canada. Its usually carried by small mammals and ends up in lakes and streams. Been there done that, squitted out the tee shirt. Not pleasant but it generally runs its course fairly quickly.