Al51
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Everything posted by Al51
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There was an advert for a dating site on TV recently claiming that someone finds love every four minutes on their site. I don't know who this someone is, but whoever it is, if they stopped for a while then maybe all the other people on the site would have a chance...
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I saw the 1967 Hendrix/Floyd tour in Portsmouth, there were a three other support bands as well. The Nice was one I remember, Keith Emerson was using knives to hold keys down on his Hammond Organ!
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I think Formula E now use the full circuit at Monaco. The most entertaining thing about the race this morning was the 8 car pile up on lap 2.
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I'm not saying my driving is bad but I bought a Smart car and it won't let me in! Al
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I drank a bottle of invisible ink by accident, been sat in A&E for 3 hours still waiting to be seen.
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Followed by 'The first rut is the deepest'
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I have a new girl friend. She works at a factory making wheelie bins. Not sure what day to take her out.
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Saw a rare Elvis record earlier The label said, “Wooden Leg” I said to the shopkeeper “I thought he sang Wooden Heart?” The the shopkeeper replied... "Yeah, he did..." “But this is the pirate version”
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May I ask what is racist about the time of two thirty?
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Last night I had a date with a dentist, I think she liked me because she said to phone her again in six months...
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Did he scream 'You Shook Me' or ' How Many More Times'?
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Probably for frozen food.....
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Apparently an account I have no knowledge of has over £13 grand ready to withdraw, lucky me! Email reads (I've deleted the link): Amount increased to:£13,581.50 Please review the information listed below. We are happy to inform you that your "Bitcoin" bonus is now availiable and ready to be withdrawn..
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I just had the Amazon scam call thanking me for the purchase of an iPhone. Funny, when I buy anything from Amazon I get an email confirming my purchase and not a phone call! I hung up straight away. Al
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In other news, a man who is addicted to brake fluid said that he can stop any time....
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In the 'duffers derby' the leading car went down 'the drop' and, remembering that they had crashed there before, eased off at the bottom. Unfortunately the following driver had zero visibility and didn't ease off, the resulting crash put both cars out of the race.
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I was in my garden today and the neighbour looked over the fence and said.. “What are you doing?” “I'm putting all my plants in alphabetical order...” She replied “Really? I don't know how you find the time..!” Oh that's easy I said, “Its right next to the sage.”
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A neighbour asked 'When do the clocks go forward?' I said 'All the time!'
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ADVICE NEEDED I am thinking of giving my wife roses for valentine's day but the internet is coming up with conflicting advice, it is a minefield of etiquette and superstition, should I give her 6, 12 or just give her the whole tin?
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From facebook: 7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15. PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F U C4N R34D 7H15.
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From the Level Crossing Stupidity thread, kudos to the girl in the last row with a prosthetic leg:
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Hambledon Hill - Gordon Haskell
