westernfan

At this point in time, (2.28pm), four others have found it funny. No-one has agreed with you!

Fair enough. I bow to your experience Sir.

Probably due to the traction tyres. Will it be as good without them?

To those who responded to my question my heartfelt thanks. May I ask if the same principles apply to the Lima Mark 3's?

GONK43 Other people have answered your query far better than I could, but I have a question for you. How did you disassemble your Lima coaches? I have a rake of Mk2B's I would like to add interior details to, but cannot find a way of separating the components; they seem to be glued together, unlike the Hornby ones which simply have a screw.

I've always found those two things to be one and the same. 😠 😈

I knew what you meant without thinking. Are you a fellow Westcountryman perchance?

It's in the Highway Code, page 109.

A cat fiddling, a cow jumping over the moon. Are these sports? The little dog laughing thought so. 😁 (Sorry. I'll get my coat!)

An Irish man was in a hospital, as his wife was due to give birth to their first child. A Nurse walks in and asks a colleague, "How dilated is she"... The man overheard and replies, "How delighted is she!?.... She's over the fu**ing moon."

If they were happy to use the word in full over their workshop, why are you afraid to type the word on here? Just asking for a friend.

AN OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?" THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO." A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET. THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON. THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS. THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS. THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?" THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO MA'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO. THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US: 1 - Never be arrogant. 2 - Don't waste ammunition. 3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are. 4 - Always make sure you know who has the power. 5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.

A mother and father took their six year old to a nude beach. As they walked along the beach, the son noticed that some women had bigger boobs than his mother's and asked his mother why. She told him “the bigger they are the dumber the person is.” The boy was satisfied with the answer and goes off to play in the ocean. He soon returns to ask his mom why many of the men had larger “units” than his father. His mom replied “the bigger they are the dumber the person is.” Again, satisfied with the answer the boy goes off to play. He returns and tells his mom “Mommy, Daddy's talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks to her the dumber he gets.”

People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his church. Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." "Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked. "Nope, sure ain't." said the man. "Don't you realize I can kill with a word?" asked Satan. "Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone. "Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan. "Yep," was the calm reply. "And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan. "Nope," said the old man. More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me? "The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 44 years.”

As I said above, you can get these from your local tyre fitter usually free of charge as they don't reuse them.

A man and a woman coincidently got beds in the same night train compartment. After the initial embarrassment, they decided not to make a fuss and chose the beds: the woman on top and the man on the bottom. At 2 o’clock the woman wakes up because she’s cold. She decides to wake up the guy: - "Excuse me, could you hand me that spare blanket? I’m a bit cold." - "I have a better idea. Why don’t we pretend we are husband and wife?" - "Why not? – said the woman after a bit of hesitation, hoping to experience an unforgettable night." - "Great! Then go get it yourself!"

I am amused, (and grateful!), by how many people ticked the "Agree" icon. 😍

Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their husbands. The first woman, smiling smugly, says, "My husband is taking me on a romantic break to the French Riviera for two weeks." The second boasts, "Well, my husband just bought me a brand new Porsche." The third shrugs and says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, ladies, we don't have much money or many material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect ." After this, the first woman looks ashamed. "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was only trying to impress you. You know that holiday I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my parents' house for two weeks." The second one says, "Oh, ladies, I'm just as bad. It's not a Porsche he bought me, but an old, battered Skoda." "Well, I also have a confession to make," said the third. "Canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg."

Three kick rule An English lawyer went duck hunting near Truro Cornwall. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in England and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Cornwall . We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck." When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear. When you're intelligent, you know which half.

A professor for a computer science course split up his class with men on one side and women on the other and they had to figure out Is a computer a man or a women? The men answered that they're female because: No one but their creator understands their internal logic When computers communicate with each other only themselves and experts can understand them Every mistake you make is saved on the hard drive for future retrieving As soon as you buy one you spend half of your paycheck buying accessories for it The women answered that they're male because: In order to get their attention you have to turn them on They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves They're supposed to help solve problems but half of the time they are the problem As soon as you buy one you realize that if you would've waited a little longer you could've gotten a better model