DDolfelin

Does he have blue suede shoes?

I don't like them gobblin' in working hours.

Good morning all. As you know, I employ Elves to make my little dioramas. Last night they asked for an increase in milk and custard creams. When I got to the bottom of it, apparently they've received an alternative offer from the North Pole.

Isn't the Lord Nelson a pub, well known for the quality of its table dancing?

Just seen some of QI on Dave. A good word for Ramblers just cropped up: Meanderthals.

I once made an egg holder from oak in Woodwork of which I was quite proud and intended to present it to my mother. It stood on a 4-legged stand and had a square with four holes for the eggs. The Woodwork Master was also a sadist. Now, my woodwork is not of the same quality as Gordon's but it was pretty good. The Woodwork Master put his whole weight on it in an attempt to break it - unsuccessfully. He then jumped on it and managed to break a leg off. At 11 years of age I was red with fury but managed to explain that our eggs were not that heavy. He pulled my hair. How sweet some ten years later when I encountered him on the Underground. He seemed to have shrunk. I fixed him with with a baleful glare and what I hoped was a manic grin. He left the train at the next stop.

As one, particularly loathed, Master was found up to his thighs in Regents Park lake one lunchtime, I can claim to be part of the Form which redressed the balance slightly. Along with many others, I used to pray for him to die overnight. Sadistic and psychopathic is my diagnosis of him at this remove. Various 'things' started happening in his Periods. For example, the lights would suddenly start swinging in harmony. The Waste basket would suddenly skitter across the floor. (Wonderful thing fishing line!). Ten minutes could successfully be wasted at the start of a lesson just by leaving a chair at the front. 'What's this chair doing here?' Forest of hands. 'Don't know, sir.' 'Shall I move it, sir?' 'I'll go and ask the Sergeant (Janitor) shall I, sir?' ... and so on. The boy tasked with removing the chair would re-appear fifteen minutes later, still carrying the chair. 'I took it to the Head, sir, and he told me to take it away'. 'Shall I move it, sir?' ... ad infinitum. My defence is ... he started it.

"Education is of far greater importance than heredity in forming character." Not sure about that. Nurture and heredity are a difficult combination to beat.

"Just wondered if you ever taught my two younger cousins." That'd be Sixoh8sixoh Minor and Sixoh8sixoh Minimus.

"Be jealous!" I'm definitely envious. With an attitude like that, I hope it doesn't get the needle, BoD.

Yes, think "Punch" quality.

Exactly, Don. Complete with a lump of homemade cake. I have learned over the years. There is a succession of elderly ladies knocking on the door with these 'gifts' at this time of year. They go straight on the bird table (which lists further as a result). The fact that they usually get a bottle of Raffle Quality wine in return probably encourages them but is bought especially for the purpose.

I don't think I'm mean but last year we saved about ??12 on stamps by hand delivering locally. Probably spent ??2 on petrol. The trick is to make a getaway while the dogs are still barking or it can be a very slow process.

... and on the Father Christmas theme, I just thought I'd save myself some stamps:

It was a slice of life.

Earth shattering pounding on the front door last night. I went armed for bear. It was the Round Table and Father Christmas on an illuminated cart, collecting for something. As there are only 30 houses in the extended village (and a fair way to anywhere else), I expect they had slim pickings. Noisy beggars.

Yes, the grey squirrels are after our nuts too. That pic. of Gordon's takes some beating. Ask for your money back at the shop, Gordon.

No false modesty now, Don!

Sam.

Just to interrupt the weather forecasts for a tip I have found useful for Railway Modelling (if you'll pardon the expression). I like to see a 'lip' on the gutters rather than the flat type usually supplied in kits, hence this scratch built version from plasticard:

That's too good to waste on here, BoD.

Yes, I couldn't afford a bigger one.

Look at what the Elves have done!

Perhaps Don wasn't here yesterday because he had a fit of the vapours at the thought of Engerland coming to his town.

What can I count to get ready for a good night's sleep?