Aspergers - Adult Diagnosis

[laurenceb]

It feels like you are fighting a battle all the time. I bet that there are alot of people who find me hard to get on with because I have no people skills at all

[Mountain Goat]

7 hours ago, laurenceb said:

It feels like you are fighting a battle all the time. I bet that there are alot of people who find me hard to get on with because I have no people skills at all

 

People skills... Uhmmm. I can mask well at times but other times...  It varies.

 

Something I was told came as a bit of a shock to me a number of years ago because... Well. This is what someone said to me when he visited me at home, and later when in work (When I worked on the railways) he said 

"You're a totally different person when you are in work to how you are at home". 

I know why now. In work I was masking to be able to do the job, and at home I was less likely to mask. 

 

The problem with masking is that it catches up with you in mental exhaustion. It is like pretending to be someone you are not by acting a charcter but then having to maintain that act every day day in day out during long hours of work, and often one has to concentrate on how to maintain that mask but also do ones job at the same time if that makes sense?

 

Often I would think "If only they knew the "Real" me", but to be honest, my general character is the same but my boldness (Work mask) or my acting thick mask (This is a very effective tool I use to "Fit in" when I don't fit in when in social situations), when in reality I am a shy quiet introverted man when nurvous but if I am relaxed and happy I am still shy but I am talkative, but usually about trains, bicycles, cars or something else I can relate to as I switch off when small talk comes around. Two ladies chatting about someones left arm or knitting or the weather and I leave them to it. 

 

Oh. I have tried. I have tried to do this small talk! One of the most common things people talk about is the weather. (Why do they alsays talk about the weather when all they have to do is open their eyes and they can see it?)  So as my youngest brother happened to have a book about the weather as when he was i school he did a project as he liked the weather... I found his book and tried to remember all the different cloud types, patterns and formations and what they are called and what they mean. 

It is hard for me to remember things outside my area of interest so I thought I was doing well. (Since forgotton most of what I learned as retaining information outside my comfort zone is not easy). 

 

So armed with this new information I thought "Great! Now I can join them and talk about the weather and try and fit in !"

I waited and then I met one of the neighbours. The weather was mentioned, and I opened up with my new information... I pointed at that cloud and this cloud and went into depth in what they meant. 

Uhmm. The look on their face as they stood there with their mouth open let me know there was something wrong! 

I kept quiet and let my Mum speak...  

[Mountain Goat]

 

Does anyone else get prosopragnosia? Any amusing or terrifying stories to tell?  Uhmmm. I have!

[MrWolf]

Never forget a face..Names I struggle with, especially when under pressure from other things on my mind.

[Kickstart]

14 minutes ago, Mountain Goat said:

 

Does anyone else get prosopragnosia? Any amusing or terrifying stories to tell?  Uhmmm. I have!

I had to look that up. Not something I suffer from; more likely to have a nagging feeling that someone looks like someone else.

 

But names I am lousy with.

 

All the best

 

Katy

[MrWolf]

3 minutes ago, Kickstart said:

I had to look that up. Not something I suffer from; more likely to have a nagging feeling that someone looks like someone else.

 

But names I am lousy with.

 

All the best

 

Katy

 

That is because humans do fall into "types" regardless of racial origin. Which is how comedic writers can create a recognisable character with whom the audience will identify. 

For instance how often have you seen a child that reminds you in some way of the milky bar kid? 

 

It's the same thing with Hollywood. There are groups of similar looking actors and actresses who play similar roles and who if they aren't absolutely top of the list household names, you can get them mixed up.

 

If you can remember their names that is.

 

It's also a case of (and not that you don't care either) that for reasons of how some of our brains are wired, that you can instantly recall when BSA stopped fitting their speedometers into the top of the bike's petrol tank, but you can't remember the name of the bloke from accounts that you spoke to yesterday.

 

 

[Kickstart]

1 hour ago, MrWolf said:

 

It's the same thing with Hollywood. There are groups of similar looking actors and actresses who play similar roles and who if they aren't absolutely top of the list household names, you can get them mixed up.

One that I noticed is Captain Olivia Benson in SVU (Mariska Hargitay) to me looks like Cara Dune in The Mandalorian (Gina Carano). Age difference is enough to be mother and daughter.

 

All the best

 

Katy

[Mountain Goat]

Shall I share some of my prosopragnosia happenings?  I also can forget names as well so I can loose people entirely from my neighbourhood and I have probably lost most people from the past that I know. 

[Joseph_Pestell]

8 hours ago, Kickstart said:

I had to look that up. Not something I suffer from; more likely to have a nagging feeling that someone looks like someone else.

 

But names I am lousy with.

 

All the best

 

Katy

 

My father had something of an obsession about people looking like someone else. They rarely did to my eyes, especially those who were supposedly like Harold Wilson..

 

But we did have a strange occurrence from this. We were eating at an excellent Italian restaurant in Bloomsbury, Mille Pini, when my father whispered to me that there was a bloke on the other side of the room who looked my mum's colleague and friend, Mike D. Rather wearied by my father's continual obsession, I did nonetheless look across. "Dad, that is because it is Mike D." 

[Mountain Goat]

3 hours ago, Joseph_Pestell said:

 

My father had something of an obsession about people looking like someone else. They rarely did to my eyes, especially those who were supposedly like Harold Wilson..

 

But we did have a strange occurrence from this. We were eating at an excellent Italian restaurant in Bloomsbury, Mille Pini, when my father whispered to me that there was a bloke on the other side of the room who looked my mum's colleague and friend, Mike D. Rather wearied by my father's continual obsession, I did nonetheless look across. "Dad, that is because it is Mike D." 

 

I never forget when I worked on the railways heading a driver tell me about his recent holiday (This was over 10 years ago). He went to the travel agent while on a break and as he had been stressed and needed his holiday to be somewhere that was as distant as possible from the railway he said to the travel agent staff "Give me a holiday in the remotest place you can find. As long as it has a bar and a beach...."

Well, he went on the holiday. It involved a few flights in various sized planes and a boat trip and then a couple of hours walking through a wilderness of scenery to get to the destination. 

No sooner had he found the bar he walked in to see another train driver from our own depot who had asked the same travel agent for the same thing! 

[Mountain Goat]

Prosopragnosia. (Faceblindness). 

I knew my Mother had it. She had not recognized people coming up to her in the street in town when they had later told my Dad and they happened to be his workmates. My Dad used to work where he would be working at first as an apprentice with another experienced man, and then when my Dad had the experience he would always be sent out with an apprentice with him, and even though these apprentices were no longer apprentices, if there wasn't anyone new they would carry on working as pairs together so all the council employees in this field and in other fields would be sent out in pairs. (E.g. plumbers, plasterers, carpenters, brick layers etc... (Whatever field of expertize one was in).

So my Mum would see these apprentices regularly because they would be with him for a few years before he had another apprentice and the apprentices would occasionally call in with my Dad if they happened to be working closeby or in this direction for a cup of tea or a meal when they passed by.

Now it was one of these apprentices (And other apprentices on numerous occasions who had said "Hello" to my Mum on various occasions where she would say "Hello" back but be cagey as she did not have a clue who she was talking to unless they happened to be working with my Dad... So if she saw them in town on their own, she would not have a clue who they were! 

Now I get this. I can have entire lengthy conversations where the other person knows me and goes away looking happy... I have tried to prolong the conversations to try to get clues as to who these people are... And to this day I do not know some of the people I have been talking to even though they seem to know the family intemately through the questions that ask (Like "Hows Jean" (My Mum) etc). 

As a child I dreaded when shopping to loose sight of my Mum or Dad. My Mum would occasionally in a supermarket ask me to get something in another isle in order to try to prevent me through being so clingy (She told me this recently) and I could easily loose her in the store (Even as an adult I get this) and on several times I have as a child I have gone to hold the hand of a complete stranger thinking it was my Mum. 

 

I will say about the more embarissing moments again as I need to get things done.

 

[Mountain Goat]

Anyone get any sensory issues? Things like taste, smell, touch or light sensitivities? 

 

 

[MarcD]

Im light sensitivity but I also have Irlen's syndrome as well. Can be got round with a big Aussie bush hat and very dark glasses. I love working in low light conditions.

The smell/taste of mushrooms freaks me out as well. Don't know why.

Marc

[Kickstart]

6 hours ago, Mountain Goat said:

Anyone get any sensory issues? Things like taste, smell, touch or light sensitivities? 

 

 

Not sure if it counts, but I can’t stand having sticky fingers (ie, if you get a bit of Coke, syrup, etc on your fingers), and some cloth (eg, the nylon type stuff used on some clothes that is a bit like crepe paper)

 

All the best

 

Katy

[laurenceb]

Some sounds, partiualy low pitch

[Mountain Goat]

Certain smells cause me shutdowns. 

 

Always been sensitive to wool next to my skin, or tiny bits in my socks, and I have to remove most of the clothing tags... And these can't be cut off as the remains will irritate me just as bad. I have to rip them out and sew any hole that the rip has caused, as the tags have to be completely removed before I can wear them. (For those who may not understand this, with autistic traits, the cause is where one gets missing brain connections during the brain development when born. The brain growth compensates for these missing connections by overdeveloping another area of rhe brain that does work which makes sense that one can be a complete genuis in one area but a complete dunce in another (No dissrespect intended). Now think along the lines of hypersensitivities which are caused by the rain overdeveloping these areas. (Likewize one can be under sensitive incertain areas due to missing brain connections). 

Now hypersensitiviries can come out in many ways. One way is where the brain is hyper tuned into the skins nerve endings, and this can cause big issues where one perwon probably would not notice clothes tags and to another it would be as if one has placed some wirewool down ones back!

I for one find that I can't stand getting my hair cut without immediately going straight into the bath or the shower, and the clothes I was wearing need to be washed five or six times, as one piece of cut hair left in my clothes sticking into me will drive me crazy! In the past I have made the mistake of having my hair cut at hairdressers and the trip home was torture!

I now have dedicated clothes I wear just for having my hair cut in, and when they are washed, they must not be washed with my other clothes on the first few washes. Even after a few washes I have been known to spend ages picking out every hair that found itself sticking in the fine fibre of my clothes! 

Wool worn right next to my skin.... I can tollerate woolen clothes that are worn out next to my skin, but I can't with fresh wool. The traditional Welsh blankets for the first two deacdes I can only use them as a top blanket. I can feel a grain of sand in my bed! I feel like the male form of the princess and the pea!

Socks. My feet can feel the slightest small stone or bit in my shoe. I have gone to stop to remove a tiny stone and others say "Was that it?" and yet I have to as it is soo irritating that it may as well be a big stone! (I know it sounds daft to those who are not hypersensitive!)  And a little hair in my sock would drive me wild!

I have always foud I MUCH prefer to wear baggy old almost worn out clothes. I am happy in them as I am comfortable. I find that if someone gives me clothes I have to have them washed a few times, as I don't get on with most washing powders. 

Also due to having sensory issues to smells, I can end up getting shutdowns while in a clothes shop or a carpet shop due to the smell of the clothes dyes with the new clothes or carpets. Usually I partly shutdown and can just make it out in time, but if I don't I risk ending up stuck on the floor in a full out shutdown!

Edited December 29, 2020 by Mountain Goat

[Bernard Lamb]

20 hours ago, Mountain Goat said:

Anyone get any sensory issues? Things like taste, smell, touch or light sensitivities? 

 

 

As a kid my mother would occasionally go shopping in Watford.

I hated BHS as I found the air in there was vile.

I would take a deep breath before we entered the shop and hold it for as long as possible.

I would get to the point of almost collapsing at times.

Why BHS and not any other shop is something I never found out.

Sorry if this offends some people but I actually felt happy and relieved when they closed.

Bernard

[relaxinghobby]

Too many women around here for Christmas, the kitchen stinks of lilys and the amaryllis has just opened adding another layer of pong, strange pongs like most perfumes why do people think flower smells are nice.

[MrWolf]

Flower smells being infinitely preferable to the salt and vinegar crisps / seaweed stink of people who rarely change their socks.

 

That said, I can't abide perfume overdose either, be it old lady smell lavender, Lynx overdose (or Chav's shower as it is known) salesman's spray on confidence, or those women who think they're hot but aren't. Ever since I was a kid I have tended to hold my breath and try not to gag in their presence.

 

Conversely, when it comes to perfumes, I much prefer subtle, you get the occasional whiff of it that makes you try to think what exactly it smells of? My other half is like that, although I know what she wears ( B expensive, but you only need a tiny amount) but you only notice it if you are really close.

 

I suspect that it's not so much you or me that has a problem with perfumes, it's other people who have issues around restraint. Ie not reaching for the hosepipe.

 

Another pet hate is really cheap, sickly smelling wash powder or fabric softeners. Nasty.

 

I have pet hate bad smells too but they are mixed up with smells linked to my CPTSD. These things are, diesel fumes, body odour, dustbins, certain plastics. Grim anyway, but they can affect my moods badly. 

Other gross smells being dirty laundry, cigars, (cigarettes are oddly okay) kebab shops / McDonald's etc. The list goes on 

[Mountain Goat]

For me, it is not the smell itself, but it is the effect the smell does to me. My sense of smell is no better then anyone elses, so this is not what I mean by having a sensitivity, but it is how it triggers a partial or a full on shutdown with me. Some of these smells I find pleasant which is annoying! It would be fine if it was only the fowl smelling things as it would be easy!

[MrWolf]

On 29/12/2020 at 22:28, laurenceb said:

Some sounds, partiualy low pitch

 

Whilst some are unduly sensitive to low pitch sounds, they do unnerve everyone at some point. From military experiments with sound cannons and noise terror to the low and slow notes that tell you that Jaws is about to attack some hapless surfer.

[laurenceb]

My proble is everyday things like freezers that most people can tune out (or so I am told)

[MrWolf]

I understand that, as I said, some people are unduly sensitive to low pitch sounds, but it won't be all of them. 

It also varies with your state of mind and body at the time. Sometimes I don't notice our fridge, sometimes the sound is resonant, to the point where it seems  to vibrate in every filling or metal plate.

My other half is very talented musically on woodwind instruments. I love to hear her play and can pick up on the sounds of the note change mechanism at the same time as hearing the tune.

[Kickstart]

Just remembered this thread.

I went through the diagnosis, and was diagnosed both with ASD and ADHD (sometimes combined as AuDHD).

Explains a few things.

 

For the ADHD part, first try was Concerta. This helped a little, but I maxed the dose out before it did that much. It is also meant to kick in after ~30 minutes and then last about 7~8 hours. For me it took 3~4 hours to kick in and then lasted 12~14 hours. I have a pretty slow digestive system. Then tried Elvanse, which on initial dose worked a bit better, but increasing the dose (on what turned out to be a stressful day) resulted in a very major meltdown.

When I filled in the AQ50 questionaire I made notes on the questions. As some of the questions to me seem like they could be truthfully answered with opposite answers. Notes are as follows.

 

Notes on questions / answers

1) In general yes I prefer to do things on my own. Waiting for others is annoying

2) Once I find a way I am happy with doing something, yes I prefer to do it that way over and over again, trying to do it better in that way.

3) Depends on the thing. If a logical design or getting somewhere with a map then pretty good, but an artistic environment pretty poor

4) Definitely true, if it is something that interests me

5) Yes I notice minor sounds that are outside the expected.

6) Notice car number plates and tend to remember them

7) When young yes, but learned to keep my mouth shut

8) Tend not to try most of the time.

9) Fascinated a bit strong a word, but certainly notice them and patterns in them.

10) Need a single conversation to keep track of. Finding it harder as I get older; possibly as my hearing deteriorates and it is harder to concentrate on a single sound source.

11) Depends on the social situation, but generally not easy unless with people I know and who I get on with.

12) I very much notice some things that others don't. Possibly best described as spotting things that disrupt what I expect (eg, in patterns).

13) This is odd as it would depend on the party. There is the 'like' of the concept of a party, but also the reality where if I go I will feel awkward. While with the library it will depend if that particular one has books on areas of interest to me.

14) Making up stories is difficult, as difficult to imagine new situations especially while keeping track of all the details so they do not contradict each other.

15) A lot of people I can take or leave. I get attached to objects.

16) I have some strong interests, and it can get me down if I am forced to ignore those interests.

17) Don't enjoy, or really understand social chit chat. Seems just something that has to be gone through.

18) Yes it can be difficult for others to get a word in, partly as by the time I can get a word in I am close to exploding.

19) Numbers, or more patterns in numbers. Addicted to Sudoku!

20) Intentions in books are hard to understand. Always assumed this is often deliberate in books.

21) I do enjoy fiction

22) I can find it hard to make new friends, although a lot easier to make acquaintances. Find it hard trust people enough to be friends.

23) Very much notice patterns, or try to create them (eg, moving my position to get things in the background to line up - maybe with the head of the person I am talking to.

24) Find a live theatre lacking in any real appeal. Would prefer most museums to a theatre, although a museum of something that interests me would obviously be far ahead.

25) Yes it is upsetting when my routine is disturbed. Not just daily routines.

26) Run out of things to say which would engage the other person quite often

27) Very rarely can read between the lines of a conversation

28) Small details all the time. Very poor at the big picture.

29) Find it easy to remember phone numbers, especially if there is a pattern to them. Can still remember phone numbers from houses I lived in other 40 years ago.

30) Depends on the change. Might notice a change in hair colour, but possibly mainly things that upset the pattern.

31) Don't easily notice when someone is getting bored, and not sure how to react if I do notice.

32) I find multi tasking very difficult.

33) Difficult to know, and often my mind will have wandered by that stage.

34) I don't see the point of choosing to do something spontaneously, but on the other hand I will react to a situation and do something with little or no planning.

35) Depends on the joke, but yes I can often take a while to get them (and often what I find amusing others don't).

36) Nope, no change most of the time of working out what someone is thinking unless blindingly obvious (eg, anger).

37) Very poor at returning to what I was doing before being interrupted.

38) Poor at it, although I have learned to emulate it.

39) Yes people have told me that, although with age I have learned to keep my mouth shut.

40) No, not pretending with others. On my own more so.

41) Yes, I collect info. Most books I buy are non fiction.

42) Not sure how I could accurately imagine what it would be like to be someone else, although maybe a good guess at how someone might react in a specific situation.

43) I do like to plan things, but I can also easily over plan to the extent that nothing gets done.

44) Depends on the social occasions. Parts I can enjoy but more when they are with people I have things in common. The pure social part with people I think I have little in common with I find awkward.

45) People need to be forthright with their intentions for me to work them out.

46) Yes I am anxious of new situations, and how people will react to me / make things difficult for me.

47) Depends on the people, but generally not keen on meeting new people unless they are someone I am likely to have interests in common with.

48) Very poor diplomat, and likely to put my foot in my mouth!

49) I can remember them if they match up to something, or are repeated enough.

50) I find it difficult and awkward to pretend, as it feels like telling lies.

 

All the best

 

Katy

[The Johnster]

Since you mentioned this, I thought it would be a good idea to do a test myself, answering as honestly as I could but finding, like you Katy, that the questions did not quite tressilate with my responses.  Scored 32, 'in the high range', which doesn't surprise me.  An ex girlf was an Aspie, as well as having to cope with an awful history of childhood sexual abuse, and I learned quite a bit about the syndrome and how best to cope with her specific needs*, so suspected I would score fairly highly.  Question is whether or not I'm going to do anything about it, and I don't think I am, much.  My feeling is that a diagnosis would be more in the ADHD category, and I am not convinced that the medical profession could help somebody of my age (I'm 71) in any way that would make any significant difference or improvement to my life (not that there isn't considerable scope for such improvement, just that I'm not sure that medication would provide it.  I'm already taking antidepressants which are preventing a deterioration in my mental health but not doing anything much to improve it...

 

 

*It was a good relationship; Aspies have qualities of honesty and rationality that I admire, and she was intelligent and funny.  I was, to be frank, in awe of her ability to function at all or to retain her personalitygiven her past, never mind at the fairly high level she was capable of functioning at!  It broke down not because of her Asperger's but her unfortunate and irreversible (well, I couldn't reverse it anyway) descent into a brain-melted condition as a result of excessive cannabis use.  The stuff helped calm her and enabled her to cope better but ultimately destroyed her ability to relate to her world at all.  It was tragic, but I lost her to her own drug-induced confusion and paranoia.

 

Thank you for inavertantly prompting me to take this rather illuminating test, Katy.  ATB!