WORLD'S WORST EVER MOVIES !

[allan downes]

 

Monster a Go-Go! (1965)

Monster a Go-Go! began as Terror at Halfday by Bill Rebane. The production ran out of money and the film was abandoned. Herschell Gordon Lewis, who reportedly needed a second feature to compose a double bill, purchased and completed it for a minimal amount of money. Several of the film's actors were unable to return, so Lewis simply replaced their parts with new characters who mysteriously appear and fill the roles of the missing characters. One of the actors Lewis managed to rehire had gained weight, gone bald, and grown a goatee, so Lewis recast him as the brother of the original character.^[53] The picture consists mostly of lengthy dialogue sequences concerning the apparent mutation of an astronaut into a monster portrayed by the giant, Henry Hite. Poor audio quality makes much of the dialogue unintelligible, and when the film is overexposed, several characters' faces appear as bright white, glowing circles. At one point, when a phone supposedly rings, the sound effect is obviously a person making a noise with their mouth.^[54] During the climax of the movie, as soldiers prepare to confront the mutated astronaut, he abruptly vanishes and the narrator informs the audience, "there was no monster", and that the astronaut has, in fact, been in the Atlantic Ocean the entire time. All Movie Guide calls the film a "surreal anti-masterpiece".^[55] It was also featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000, where writer Paul Chaplin called the dialogue "garbled beyond recognition".^[56] The entire cast of the show later stated it was officially the worst movie they have ever seen.^[57]

[allan downes]

 

Manos: The Hands of Fate is a 1966 American low-budget horror film. It was written, directed, and produced by Harold P. Warren who also starred in the film. It is widely recognized to be one of the worst films ever made. In 1993, the television comedy series Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K), a show based on the premise of comedically mocking B movies, featured Manos: The Hands of Fate, helping the film develop a cult status.^[1]

The film's plot revolves primarily around a vacationing family who lose their way on a road trip. After a long drive in the Texas desert, the family finds themselves trapped at a lodge maintained by a polygamous pagan cult, and they attempt to escape as the cult's members decide what to do with them. The film is infamous for its technical deficiencies, especially its significant editing and continuity flaws; its soundtrack and visuals not being synchronized; tedious pacing; abysmal acting; and several scenes that are seemingly inexplicable or disconnected from the overall plot, such as a couple making out in a car or The Master's wives breaking out in catfights.^[2]

Warren was an insurance and fertilizer salesman from El Paso, Texas, who produced the film as the result of a bet. He also starred in it, alongside El Paso theater actors Tom Neyman and John Reynolds. Manos was an independent production by a crew with little or no background or experience in filmmaking and a very limited budget at its disposal. Upon its theatrical debut, the film was poorly received, playing only at the Capri Theater in El Paso and some drive-ins in West Texas and New Mexico. It remained obscure until its Mystery Science Theater appearance in 1993, which sparked two DVD releases (the original film and the three separate releases of DVDs featuring the MST3K episode of the film).^[3] The original 16 mm work print was discovered in California in 2011, from which a new copy of the film, of vastly superior visual quality, was released on Blu-ray by Synapse Films on October 13, 2015.

[Claude_Dreyfus]

It has been mentioned in passing, but no discussion topic on the Worlds Worst Every Movies can be complete without...

 

 

Take your pick on the critics reviews..

 

[\Quote]

Back in the summer of 2013, the Syfy Channel debuted a little thing called “Sharknado,” a deliberately campy goof in which a bizarre weather anomaly caused a tornado filled with killer sharks to bear down upon Los Angeles in an ###### of barely adequate special effects while gnawing on a variety of vaguely familiar second-tier celebrities struggling mightily to keep straight faces. The end result was not “good” in any conventional sense of the term, but the combination of a certain goofball spirit and that undeniable grabber of a title came along at the point during the dog days of the season when people were desperately in search of some kind of weirdo diversion (it should be noted that at this point and time, the world as a whole had not yet turned into one giant metaphorical sharknado). It became a moderate cult sensation amongst people who had grown tired of the likes of “The Room” and were looking for a new cinematic oddity to goof on. Each summer since, Syfy has seen fit to offer up a new “Sharknado” film in which the settings (ranging from New York to Las Vegas to outer space) and the faces making cameo appearances may change, but the basic premise has remained resolutely the same: scenes of C-grade actors getting chomped to bits by D-grade CGI sharks mixed together with enough jokey references to other, generally better movies to allow film buffs to distract themselves during the 200 or so dull parts by seeing who can come up with the longest list of titles getting shout-outs.

 

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/sharknado-5-global-swarming-2017

 

 

 

[allan downes]

 

A Place for Lovers (1968)

A Place for Lovers is a French-Italian romantic film directed by Vittorio De Sica, starring Faye Dunaway as a terminally-ill American fashion designer in Venice, Italy, and Marcello Mastroianni as a race car driver who has a whirlwind affair with her. Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times called it the "most godawful piece of pseudo-romantic slop I've ever seen!"^[65] and Charles Champlin of the Los Angeles Times referred to it as "the worst movie I have seen all year and possibly since 1926".^[66] Leonard Maltin noted Ebert's comments in his review and offered that the film was "low points for all concerned".^[2]A Place for Lovers was included as one of the choices in The Fifty Worst Films of All Time.

[Rugd1022]

 

The Creeping Terror (1964)

The science-fiction/horror film The Creeping Terror was directed, produced, and edited by Vic Savage (under the pseudonym A.J. Nelson, but he keeps his name when credited as an actor). The movie is about a large slug-like alien that lands on Earth and terrorizes an American town.^[39] The film is memorable for its use of some bargain-basement effects: stock footage of a rocket launch played in reverse to depict the landing of an alien spacecraft, and the "monster" appears to be composed of a length of shagpile carpet draped over several actors. Notably, the creature's victims inexplicably stand perfectly still as the slow-moving monster approaches them. Scott Weinberg of efilmcritic.com simply summarizes the movie with "You've seen clips of this one in those 'awful, awful movies' documentaries." The movie was featured in the sixth season of Mystery Science Theater 3000.^[40][41]

 

I used to get the creeping terror whenever I went anywhere near Neasden...   

[allan downes]

I used to get the creeping terror whenever I went anywhere near Neasden... 

 

I remember Neasden  ( The Welsh Harp Reservoir ) as a kid and it was perfectly safe then.But that was before....

 

Allan. 

[Guius]

The late Willy Rushdon wrote a very funny song called 'Neasden' for the John Betjeman film 'Metroland'. Don't know if its on Youtube, worth a listen if it is.

 

Best

 

Guy

[Metr0Land]

I think Metroland is in copyright but there's this version on youtube:

 

[andyram]

I cannot believe this thread has reached two pages without mention of the real worst movie of all time - a complete and utter dog's breakfast that should be deleted from existence. I do not even need to give you a synopsis of the movie because, I bet, many who visit these pages will have seen it (although few will actually admit it).

 

What is this turd on the silver screen you may ask.

 

Ladies and gentleman, I put forward the worst movie ever made:

 

 

THOMAS AND THE MAGIC RAILROAD!

[Chris M]

128 minutes of boredom but it felt like more. I was so pleased when it ended.

 

Edited August 29, 2017 by Chris M

[waggy]

Any of the remakes of classics where the originals got it pretty much dead right. True Grit, The Italian Job and The Parent Trap spring very readily to mind.

 

Personally, I think the "Schlock Horror" genre is great fun.

 

John

 

Add -  Get Carter, and The Ladykillers

[34theletterbetweenB&D]

128 minutes of boredom but it felt like more. I was so pleased when it ended.

Such an experience, once too often, has terminated my visits to cinemas. I now catch all new releases via the Oxfam system. Our local shop sells s/h DVD for 49p. I take them home, and if there is no entertainment within the first fifteen minutes they are ejected; and then returned to stock, typically the day following. I get at least one walk, Oxfam get some cash, little time or money is wasted on sludge, everyone's a winner!

[The Stationmaster]

I'm beginning to think that a number of people on here haven't seen any of the films Allan is nominating.  Some of these old ones, exspecially the B movies were so appalling as to be allmost comic.  Channel 81 occasionally comes out with some which aren't quite this bad but are definitely pretty awful although some can be very useful for those seeking 1950s/early '60s detail for modelling.

Edited August 29, 2017 by The Stationmaster

[allan downes]

Keep it up fellas, I never realized there were so many sympathizers out there !

 

Musicals are my pet hate where when things start to look reasonably interesting, everybody bursts into song - and worst musical song ever ? Well there's two." My Boy Bill" droned and dragged out by Gordon MacRae in Oaklahoma - I think- and Bali Hai from that insult to the ears - South Pacific. And latest hate - Mamma Mia. Yuk !

 

Then of course we come to the worst songs ever and especially Anthony Newley with  Pop Goes The Weasel - thoroughly sickening. Both the song and him ( watch it on Youtube ) Then that God awful dose of musical syrup -" Que Sera Sera" by the permanently disinfected Doris Day and who the hell thought up that cringing top ten hit, "How Much Is That Doggie In The Window, woof, woof " ?? 

 

And as for Fred Astaire.... well enough said - Oh, nearly forgot. Google " Giddy-Up-A-Ding-Dxng " on Youtube a 50's top ten hit for Freddie Bell and The Bell Boys. Totally unbelievable and massively cringeworthy,  and, worse still, as a kid I used to dance to it ! 

 

But hey !, this is all about movies so more coming up later folks.

 

Allan.

Edited August 29, 2017 by allan downes

[ejstubbs]

I'm beginning to think that a number of people on here haven't seen any of the films Allan is nominating.

 

Can I just point out that Allan isn't really nominating anything: he's just cutting and pasting text from the Wikipedia entries for the films from this list (sometimes with a bit of re-work to create a brief resume from a rambling entry).  Those who find themselves unable to wait for the addition to this 'thread' could save themselves a chunk of time by going direct to the source.

 

I'm not sure what the Wiki Foundation's view is on this kind of plagiarism but I doubt it is likely to be favourable.

 

Any of the remakes of classics where the originals got it pretty much dead right. True Grit, The Italian Job and The Parent Trap spring very readily to mind.

 

I would in general agree that pointless remakes are annoying.  However, I would qualify that by saying that IMO the Cohen brothers' version of True Grit is very good.  I find Jeff Bridges much more convincing than The Duke as a no-good alcoholic has-been who finds redemption in the end.  For me, Wayne was always just a little too noble and righteous from the outset.

Edited August 29, 2017 by ejstubbs

[Hilux5972]

This definitely has to qualify!

Edited August 29, 2017 by Hilux5972

[chris p bacon]

Can I just point out that Allan isn't really nominating anything: he's just cutting and pasting text from the Wikipedia entries for the films from this list (sometimes with a bit of re-work to create a brief resume from a rambling entry).  Those who find themselves unable to wait for the addition to this 'thread' could save themselves a chunk of time by going direct to the source.

 

The inference is that he's not seen them,  whether he has or hasn't the title of the thread is "Worlds worst ever movies" so I don't see the point of your post which seems critical of the OP.

I'm not sure what the Wiki Foundation's view is on this kind of plagiarism but I doubt it is likely to be favourable.

Wiki has become a byword for inaccuracy, I'd also wonder whether you could be acused of 'Plagiarism' when all the attributable quotes listed within Wiki have come from other sources with no material being original. 

[Classsix T]

Apparently I plough a lonely furrow, being of the opinion Independence Day is a big budget turkey.

 

The dialogue is cringeworthy and the scenes are beyond belief, but my biggest problem is the absolute plot rip off of War of the Worlds. Done bad.

 

Nicolas Cage's cinematic output is like playing Russian roulette, a more hot and cold filmic canon (that makes money) is hard to nominate.

Though he wasn't in Fast and Furious - Tokyo Drift (a particularly poor franchise milker from an already whiffy line of stinkers) having done the marginally less bad Gone in 60 Seconds.

 

Michael Caine income tax vehicle Jaws4 - The Revenge.

 

And one for our host to find...

Allan,

In the Fifties John Wayne did work for the McCarthy/Hoover House of Un-American Activities, there's a particularly awful bit of propaganda he did, filmed in the main in Hawaii I believe, can you dig out a review?

 

C6T.

[chris p bacon]

Apparently I plough a lonely furrow, being of the opinion Independence Day is a big budget turkey.

 

 

Oh no you're not !

[jjb1970]

Maybe it's just me, but I enjoy some of these films a lot more than many of the films that critics tell us are much better. As the station master has indicated they're so bad that they emege from badness into comic goodness and are a hoot to watch.

[allan downes]

..Allan,

In the Fifties John Wayne did work for the McCarthy/Hoover House of Un-American Activities, there's a particularly awful bit of propaganda he did, filmed in the main in Hawaii I believe, can you dig out a review?

C6T.

I'll try C6T. Probably after I've posted a few more worst movies ever.

 

Cheers.

 

Allan

Edited August 29, 2017 by allan downes

[PatB]

Apparently I plough a lonely furrow, being of the opinion Independence Day is a big budget turkey.

 

The dialogue is cringeworthy and the scenes are beyond belief, but my biggest problem is the absolute plot rip off of War of the Worlds. Done bad.

 

 

 

Be fair. It wasn't done quite as bad as War of the Worlds was a few years later .

 

As for my own nomination, it's Crimson Peak. I know I keep banging on about it but I remain mystified as to how someone could manage to spend such a colossal budget and still make a film that was so bad.

 

Incidentally, how the hell do you do a remake of Get Carter without having an actual 1960s Newcastle to shoot it in?

[34theletterbetweenB&D]

...Musicals are my pet hate where when things start to look reasonably interesting, everybody bursts into song ...

That's probably because you haven't had the essential pre-conditioning, which is opera. Worst. Art. Form. Ever. The text may generally be summed up as 'Oh my pants are bursting, she's put lead in my pencil' etc.. The notable exception the mythic history tendency 'My ego is enormous, I must embark on world domination'. (These are of course the same plot at bottom, one interpersonal, the other international, and everyone goes to hell in both.)

 

 

...IMO the Cohen brothers' version of True Grit is very good....

For my money, way exceeds the original. Authentic frontier gibberish (thank you Mel Brooks) and no pretence at any virtue.

[UMinion]

Apparently I plough a lonely furrow, being of the opinion Independence Day is a big budget turkey.

The dialogue is cringeworthy and the scenes are beyond belief, but my biggest problem is the absolute plot rip off of War of the Worlds. Done bad.

 

C6T.

The second one makes the original look like a masterpiece though! On the subject of recent sci-fi Skyline was particularly dreadfull. I didn't rate the 2 new alien films much either.

[PatB]

I'm also tempted to nominate the Matrix series. Major case of style over substance. I find it particularly annoying as the first one completely overshadowed the much better/cleverer (but less massively CGI'd) Dark City which appeared at the same time.