The Night Mail

[New Haven Neil]

My only passing skill in sports was hockey (all boys grammar school) in which I was OK, the rest total no-hoper.  Years later an eyesight issue was diagnosed - ah that explains a lot.  My idea of sport after school involved engines, two wheels and some modest success!  Although racing is long in the past, there's still 5 and a 1/2 bikes in the garage.

 

Oddly the head of games/PT was a decent bloke, and also took us for geography, which I was both interested in and capable so got on OK with him.  The rest, well maybe they had a first career in the forces.  Colchester, possibly.

Edited February 6, 2023 by New Haven Neil
context

[Happy Hippo]

I claim little or no sporting prowess on the field:  Yes I did play in the front row, but that was being short and myopic, it was the only place I could play where I was likely to see the ball.  I was not a good rugby player but I could stop  a lot of those who thought they were!

 

Once off the field, and in the air or on the water, I was much better.

 

In the air I was still a bit limited as my mass was great, but my arms and legs were short, so I fell like a brick.  The only person who could accelerated to terminal velocity quicker than I (in the stable spread position) was an RAF photographer, Arthur Gibson (DH knows him).  so I either went out of the aircraft first when on a team accuracy jump, or last on a relative work jump.

 

The reason behind this was I fell away fastest, so on an accuracy jump you don't want a jumper ending up out of place.  Of course you also had to be consistent for this as everyone is following you in, so if you get it wrong, you upset all the others approach and landing  calculations.  Of course on a display jump, you were first in, usually to the greatest round of applause, and were able to quickly gallop around the DZ collecting and scoffing the cake thrown by admiring fans, before the rest of the team landed.

 

On the relative work side I left the aircraft last knowing my superior mass and falling technique would ensure I quickly caught the rest of the team up.

 

It was a small and tight knit community, and you could always find someone who would give you advice on improving techniques, or pointing out the small errors that were the difference between success and failure. At one point I was struggling in setting up the final approach for an accuracy landing.  We had to hit a 10 cm disc to score 0, (This later changed to 5 cm with improved electronic recording)  and I was very inconsistent, sometimes being as much as a metre out. As you can imagine I was getting a bit down hearted, until after one particular jump where a young lady said to me, 'Your setting up slightly too late, what you need to do is....'  That young lady was Jackie Smith who a few years previously had been the very first person to score a perfect 0 out of 10 jumps to win the world championships. 

 

After a discussion on accuracy jumping and final approach techniques, my accuracy landing consistency improved considerably.  this was helped by the fact that JS watched the rest of my accuracy jumps, and would critique my efforts as soon as I landed.

 

This was not an isolated incident, but was typical of the sport as a whole

 

I gave up when I realised that I no longer felt any apprehension about jumping.  That slight niggle in the back of your mind was what kept you safe, and losing it meant I became a liability, not only to myself, but more importantly, to those who were jumping with you.

 

Fortunately, I still had dinghy sailing and shooting as sports I could continue with.

 

[Oldddudders]

Our PE teachers were not really nice people - unless you had their idea of talent, of course. Sherry recalls Jo, the unmarried female version, as sarcastic and dismissive, while the male, Bill, allegedly an ex-marine, was an imposing figure with few smiles for most of us. He was in his 40s and married.

 

In 1959, when I started at the grammar skool, there was a brand-new canteen, with a kitchen serving our skool on one side, and the new girls' secondary-modern on the other. The staff table was attended by a couple of girl pupils. A particularly well-built 6th form girl was one of these in the 1963-5 era, and it slowly dawned upon me over time that she and Bill seemed friends. One evening I was walking home round the base of Box Hill - having travelled on the train from Dorking North to Boxhill, so I could snog Deirdre - and as I came down out of the trees towards the start of the road above Boxhill Farm there was Bill's car parked in a secluded spot. In the passenger seat was the same girl.....

 

These days such a liaison would be grounds for his dismissal, but then it was ignored. Oddly enough, Sherry had similar treatment from a teacher, 30s, married w disabled children, and as we might guess, a teen finds the older man's attentions very flattering, and maybe a mite confusing. In Sherry's case, Alan taught RE.... Some girls might be so affected by all this adult attention that relationships with boys their own age might seem underwhelming, but happily Sherry had no such hangups, met her first husband at Uni and all was well. 

 

NB Sherry points out that she isn't very fussy - she married me! Sigh. 

[bbishop]

With short, fat, hairy legs and practically no neck, I naturally became a hooker.  I am by nature a placid sort of guy but stick a No.2 jersey on me and remind me of my Welsh heritage and I became a total Hovis.  I was a better hooker than a player, so was very effective in the scrums.  The bigger problem was the "hooray henry" types who frequented Rugby clubs in the South east so, when my knees decided my playing career was over, I drifted away from the sport.  

Rugby had somewhat sidelined my cricket career.  I was capable of keeping the ball out of my wicket, but not much else, so I filled a hole in the school 3rd XI and become a wicket keeper.  My knees decided by my 30th birthday that I couldn't play club cricket of an afternoon but I was recruited into an evening 20:20 league as a coarse wicketkeeper / no.11 batsman: zero skills but total enthusiasm.  I played the occasional game into my 60s.  Now of course I get free entry into Lords in exchange for providing first aid.

Bill

[SM42]

My enduring memories of school rugby was going to school for 0730 on a Saturday to get on the minibus to away games. 

 

Two games stand out. 

 

One on the outskirts of Tipton where I found myself in a scrum looking down at the cowpat that was slowly turning red from our prop's nosebleed

 

The other is when we took 4 teams to somewhere near Wolverhampton. 

 

I got rather upset with one of the opposition  who stamped on my hand and I had it in for him for the rest of the game, finally being able to run through him as he stood there by the touchline wondering who he could pass to. The small crowd parted like the red sea as we tumbled through them.

 

Honour restored.

 

It was also the only match I found myself with the ball and the clear run to the line .

I was cut off about 20 yards out and played a beautiful pass out of the tackle  to one of my supporting team mates only to find that they were all stood way back wondering what a second row was doing running down the wing. 

 

Never really got to touch the ball again in a competitive match. 

Always doing the donkey rather than the seagull stuff

 

Ours was the only team we took  that day to finish match with 15 players. 

Numerous sendings off had occurred in the other games. 

 

After match squash and biscuits in the school Home Ec room was marked by our hooker perching himself on a tumble dryer that promptly made a quite unusual noise and then produced quantities of smoke 

 

We never were invited to play at that school again. 

 

Don't know why. 

 

Andy

[Adam88]

1 hour ago, Happy Hippo said:

In the air I was still a bit limited as my mass was great, but my arms and legs were short, so I fell like a brick. 

 

 

 

It's all a matter of having the right Reynolds number.

 

[Happy Hippo]

2 minutes ago, Adam88 said:

 

 

It's all a matter of having the right Reynolds number.

 

Burt and Debbie were both ex directory.

[Adam88]

Our PE master was known to us as the Blue Whale on two counts: the royal blue track suit he always wore and his large circumference.

[Happy Hippo]

44 minutes ago, Adam88 said:

 

 

It's all a matter of having the right Reynolds number.

 

It has a place into shooting and sailing as well.

 

I'd suggest that quite a few people that participate in sport don't realise what a large part of their activity is governed by physics.

[Compound2632]

51 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

I'd suggest that quite a few people that participate in sport don't realise what a large part of their activity is governed by physics.

 

School Managements do though, which is why the Science Department gets amalgamated with the PE department and the Director of PE put in charge...

[Dave Hunt]

Currently I’m at  Attingham Park having strolled a couple of miles (about my limit at present) to look at the snowdrops.....

 

 

.... this kind that is, not RAF policemen. On the way round I found that HH has left his bathing hut here for when the rain makes a proper muddy hollow......

 

 

Unfortunately there is no LDC in the cafe so I’m having to make do with Bakewell tart (and she’s still a nice girl)

 

TTFN

 

Dave

[Dave Hunt]

I once scored a try when we got a line out on the opposition’s ten yard line. I got the ball but for some reason the opposition had decided that the guy at the back of the line was the intended target and all turned round. I suddenly found myself with the ball and no-one between me and the try line and even as a No. 8 rather than one of the greyhounds I managed to get there unopposed.

 

Dave

[Happy Hippo]

9 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

I once scored a try when we got a line out on the opposition’s ten yard line. I got the ball but for some reason the opposition had decided that the guy at the back of the line was the intended target and all turned round. I suddenly found myself with the ball and no-one between me and the try line and even as a No. 8 rather than one of the greyhounds I managed to get there unopposed.

 

Dave

I remember falling out of a rolling maul landing on the ball which had popped out at the same time.  The whistle went and I found I'd scored the winning try! 

 

I too have been out in the sunshine, in this case down to the hospital to have my fingers looked at.

 

I was in at 1455 for a 1500 appointment!

 

The consultant agrees that the remains of the nails on my sans tip finger need to be removed. So I'll be back in for  a bit of day surgery, in around 6 weeks time.  I have been told I can watch if I'd like to.

 

We then probably spent more time gassing about plastikard modelling techniques than how the finger nails fragments  were coming out.

[Happy Hippo]

The errant nails:

 

[Danemouth]

Just collected the car from its annual service and MOT - I managed 1,635 miles in the past year. - its a 15 reg and still has less than 22,000 on the clock.

 

When we do longer journeys we go in SWMBOs car and she drives!

 

Dave

[DenysW]

11 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

The errant nails:

Yes, there is something worse to see than a pannier tank. I did not need to experience that revelation.

[J. S. Bach]

4 hours ago, bbishop said:

With short, fat, hairy legs and practically no neck, I naturally became a hooker. ...snip...

Hooker? Why I have several:

 

 

 

[Gwiwer]

45 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

I remember falling out of a rolling maul landing on the ball which had popped out at the same time.  The whistle went and I found I'd scored the winning try! 

There will always be flukes in sport!  

 

I have never seen the "sport" in placing your head between the sweaty, muddy buttocks of your team-mates (who might be total strangers off the pitch) and pushing for all you're worth.  Someone always farted in the school scrums.  Just because.  

[Gwiwer]

2 hours ago, Compound2632 said:

3 hours ago, Happy Hippo said:

I'd suggest that quite a few people that participate in sport don't realise what a large part of their activity is governed by physics.

 

School Managements do though, which is why the Science Department gets amalgamated with the PE department and the Director of PE put in charge...

School PE was its own department with a head and an assistant.  Head was a burly Cornishman with a voice to match and an unhealthy delight in slippering the bared buttocks of anyone who had incorrect, un-ironed or any other imperfection in their kit.  Assistant was an equally vocal Welshman whom none of us could understand linguistically but everyone could understand when he bellowed or gestured to convey the message.  

 

These "gentlemen" were supported as required by other staff.  Three rugby pitches were available allowing simultaneous hours of random running, catching and shoving.  The third-thirty (least competent) were usually refereed by an elderly chap who normally taught English, was beyond running around the pitch but could blow a whistle if needed.  Then we received a new Head of Maths who was also an international Rugby referee and took charge for the inter-school matches and some of the games periods.  Meaning those of us in the third-thirty got the Welshman ....... 

[Happy Hippo]

12 minutes ago, Gwiwer said:

There will always be flukes in sport!  

 

I have never seen the "sport" in placing your head between the sweaty, muddy buttocks of your team-mates (who might be total strangers off the pitch) and pushing for all you're worth.  Someone always farted in the school scrums.  Just because.  

You wouldn't understand, it's a hippo thing!

 

Edited February 6, 2023 by Happy Hippo

[polybear]

Bear had to play Rugby at school - bluddy hated it.  I don't think any of us knew what the rules were - we just did what the Teacher told us to do.  Footie was rare, cricket pretty non-existent.  Cross-Country was probably the best of the outside sports - but not what a Bear would class as "Fun" either.  Given a choice I'd much rather be in the swimming pool.

As for school in general, I'd love to go back and have primary school all over again - had some good mates (all of which I've long since lost touch with).  But Secondary School?  Hated it with a huge H - there were some nasty b'sterds who I sincerely hope came to an early, painful end.

[coastalview]

1 hour ago, Dave Hunt said:

Currently I’m at  Attingham Park having strolled a couple of miles (about my limit at present) to look at the snowdrops.....

 

 

.... this kind that is, not RAF policemen. On the way round I found that HH has left his bathing hut here for when the rain makes a proper muddy hollow......

 

 

Unfortunately there is no LDC in the cafe so I’m having to make do with Bakewell tart (and she’s still a nice girl)

 

TTFN

 

Dave

We must have just missed you, as we were there this afternoon.

[Danemouth]

Looking back at my schooldays which finished 58 years ago I see some really unhappy times. Particularly at High School some of the things we suffered would today bring screams of outrage, media attention etc. and rightly so!

 

Dave

[AndyID]

Being rather tall for my age it was second-row for me. My rugby career ended at an away game one Saturday morning with a broken collar bone in a loose scrum.

 

The math teacher who was attending took me to the infirmary then drove me home. He was great. Never heard a word from anyone in the PE department.

 

After woodwork/metalwork, Physics was my favorite subject. We had a really good teacher and I still remember many of the experiments we did. I hated Chemistry, mainly because the teacher was terrible.

 

[Gwiwer]

1 hour ago, polybear said:

But Secondary School?  Hated it with a huge H - there were some nasty b'sterds who I sincerely hope came to an early, painful end.

Without wishing to attract negative karma towards myself - YES.  

 

26 minutes ago, Danemouth said:

Particularly at High School some of the things we suffered would today bring screams of outrage, media attention etc. and rightly so!

Abso-flippin’-lutely 

 

The Head of Art who dismissed me from his care with the words “Boy - you’re a ham-fisted clot with a pencil; God help you if you ever pick up a paintbrush;

The Head of Modern Languages who decided my hair was longer than a “short back & sides” and put me in detention every Saturday until it was cut;

The Head of Chemistry who put all but three of his class out cold with an experiment to determine the boiling point of chloroform;

The Head of Biology who maliciously had me on stage for “the swish” in  assembly for smoking in town one evening (I wasn’t there and I have never smoked; I was spared the indignity only because I offered proof that I was at home)

The Head of Games slippering bared teenage buttocks;

The Latin master who dropped piles of books vertically onto your head;

The metalwork master who threw lumps of mild steel at you across the workshop;

The maths master who threw compasses or dividers at you - and stabbed a boy’s hand pinning it to the desk. 

And the apparent roster of staff “patrolling” the town in the evenings and at weekends to ensure you were not out with a girl when you were “supposed” to be at home studying. 
 

Yup. 
 

Do any of those today and expect Trial by Journalist. 
.

Edited February 6, 2023 by Gwiwer