malcolmy Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Hi chaps, So my 17 year old daughter had her birthday party last night. I have now returned home to find that both of my model railways situated in our converted loft have sustained damage. My N gauge layout (Villa Park) has had items of rolling stock knocked to the floor, scenery broken and trees felled! My OO layout (Arley) has obviously been 'played with'. Various of my 'spare' locos which sit in Peco loco lifts on shelves have been damaged. The scenery has been damaged, trees, buildings etc. Trains that were complete and on tracks in the fiddle yard are now derailed, with a few locos tenders parted from the engine. There is also a mat (which I use for my cup of tea while I'm operating) that now resides with some sheep in a field. I have taken photos, and asked my daughter to find out who caused the damage. What should I do next - I'm livid! I have built up my model railway collection for over 40 years. To have various bits of it trashed in an evening is devastating. I have not moved anything yet - I don't know where to start? I suppose that alot of the damage is superficial, but I really don't know. My layout is insured with Magnet. Should I contact them? How does one go about assessing the cost of the damage? If I can find out who was responsible - how do I get them to pay? Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhh - I am so annoyed! Any help and suggestions greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveb860 Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 I am sorry to hear that this has happened to your treasured collection. Must be heartbreaking to say the least.You seem to have taken it far better than I would have done. I think if this had happened with my son, (i was fortunate that it didn't when he had a party, although they did go in the loft with the layout) he would be paying off the damages for quite some time. I only hope the culprits feel some sence of shame and step forward. Definately see if your insurance policy covers this sort of damage,after all, why have a policy if you don't claim when you need to. Steve Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jol Wilkinson Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Assess the cost of putting the damage right and claim for it. Be realistic, estimate the cost of getting it done, rather than just doing it yourself. Then assess the "cost" of the distress and inconvenience you have been put to and insist that your daughter (and her friends) recompense you for that. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Taylor Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Any punishment applied should be fitting. Sadly we have a hobby not held in particularly high esteem or respected by the majority of teenagers or kids today and getting them to own up to their irresponsibility and make good any damage will most likely be nigh on impossible. However, did you make it clear that the loft was out of bounds before allowing your daughter and her friends free run of your house? If so, you sadly for your daughter, have one lever to use. She wishes to party like a grown up and have friends round etc, but you can make it clear that she is responsible for any misbehaviour and if she cant be trusted to look after your house and possessions why should she be entrusted with them on her own. Admittedly it means you run the risk of spending the next 2+ years sharing your house with her and her gang and being reluctant to go on holiday, but as we have found with my partner's fifteen year old boy being tough and pointing out that life is full of privileges not just rights and with both there comes responsibilities and dealing with things on a treat us as you would wish to be treated yourself basis has meant that we have missed out on a lot of agro so far. As far as insurance claims go assess the financial loss and balance that against the no claims and possible increased premium and if it works out then go for it but I would use the opportunity to teach a lesson in a fair manner. Apologies if that seems harsh but unless she wins the lottery you hold all the advantages. Set the boundaries and let her sort out the mess she's made. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
br2975 Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 You 'may' find that your insurers will not consider the claim 'unless' you report the matter to the police as a 'crime' and here we could be talking either (i) criminal damage, or (ii) burglary. The latter depends upon whether the persons who caused the damage were invited or gatecrashers and also to which parts of the house those who were invited had permission to access. . e.g. if the guests were told they only had lawful access to the lounge, dining room, kitchen and toilet - and NOT the loft, then by entering the loft as trespassers and causing damage they 'may' have committed the offence of burglary. . Of course, if you report this to the police and they investigate it, they should interview all those who attended, possibly arresting some. . This could drive a wedge between your daughter and her so-called friends. - in fact are they worthy of the term 'friends' ? . However, the threat of police action may be enough for your daughter to find out (a) who caused the damage, and (B) what she and her friends propose to do to rectify the damage ? . I'm sorry for your losses, but wish you good luck. Brian R Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Sheep Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 For where to start I'd say get the affected models out and start seeing how they run, any damage to the motion / mechanism followed by any cosmetic damage working through the collection until you are left with what is damaged. Anything that is an easy fix or just needs a bit of work doing to rectify put to one side and done, anything that needs money spending on it added to the tab then speak to daughter, let her know that you're upset that the layout was damaged and that some of the damage requires money to put right and take it from there as if it was the car having been scratched / table damaged etc and see what she has to say - what you don't say is if she knew someone had gone up there until it was too late / went and evicted them from the loft Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium spamcan61 Posted April 28, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 28, 2012 As the father of 17 and 19 year old daughters then I think twa_dogs has summed it up. I would be particularly careful about claiming on insurance for damage caused by invited guests, the insurance company will almost certainly ask lots of awkward question and load the premium next year. Attempting to finds the guilt parties will involve more stress for little chance of getting a result. If the daughter earns any money I'd 'fine' her a few quid a week for all eternity until the damage is paid for. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortliner Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 A part of your problem is that word of "Party! Party!" goes out on the electronic, keep-in-touch, media link-up, grape-vine and loads of unknown people turn up, (Think of the way info about a RAVE! goes around) so it is quite [possible that the "Damager" may well not even BE one of her friends, but a friend of a friend of a friend who has just invited himself along, and she actually has no means of finding out who it may be. I'd also suspect that if it was her birthday party, it would be impossible for her to be everywhere keeping an eye on things - so don't be too hard on her - You don't want to hear this, but at least part of the fault lies with you for going out and leaving a 17-year-old, who is undoubtedly going to be drinking and having fun, to take care of the property. Do a check of what is damaged/missing, put a realistic valuation on it and speak to the insurance company - it is why you have it insured Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffP Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 I have to admit to a wry smile at the idea of the police being involved. In my experience, they MIGHT come if there is a chance that someone was speeding and you have the photo to prove it. As for the damage, I'd NOT claim on your insurance unless you want a row with them too: they will say that, since YOU authorised the party, YOU are responsible. And they may cancel your insurance even if they pay out. THEN try getting more insurance... I think you have to take it on the chin and speak to your daughter about it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highlandman Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 I sympathise with your predicament and your daughter should be made aware of the concequences of her so called 'friends' actions. May be allowances can be docked and priviledges revoked. As for the insurance, surely your household conrents policy has an accidental damage clause in the policy and preferably with an old for new section. This should cover accidental damage caused to property during parties without having to get the police involved and driving a wedge between you, your daughter and her 'friends'. Anyway TRUE friends would tell you who had caused the damaged to your beloved collection. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
malcolmy Posted April 28, 2012 Author Share Posted April 28, 2012 Thanks for the suggestions so far... As has been pointed out, the guilty people are unlikely to own up. Though I am confident that there weren't any uninvited guests. I guess the question I need to address is whether I put the damage right myself, or get a professional modeller in to do the repairs. I suspect the latter course would be expensive, but the only real way of ascertaining the true cost. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim V Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 What does her mother say? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
br2975 Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 ".... As for the insurance, surely your household conrents policy has an accidental damage clause in the policy and preferably with an old for new section. This should cover accidental damage caused to property during parties without having to get the police involved and driving a wedge between you, your daughter and her 'friends'......" . In an ideal world I would hope this to be the case. . Unfortunately, insurance companies are not in business for our peace of mind, they are in existence solely to make money for their shareholders - so, mention of your home being the venue for a teenage party attended by some untrustworthy gatecrashers whilst the 'crinklies' were out may lead to your insurers putting some obstacles in the path of any potential pay out. Brian R Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon hudson Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Very sorry to hear your problems. do you know any of the parents of the other people involved I would threaten police involvement Show pictures to the parents and failing that I think your daughter has to have some responsibility for whats happend. How well do you get on with her friends do you know the people that were at the party. Have more than a strong word with her friends.I had a lot of problems with my step son as he was going through that stage.But I always got on well with his friends he hated being shown up in front of them and my god his Mother and I did that a few times.He did come through it all. I always found if you treat their friends as adults they tend to be honest and I woud hope they have the decency to own up and put matters right I wouldn't put an insurance claim in as it will only increase premiums and no claims bonuses I think you have to be firm with your daughter and ultimaely she and or her friends should pay. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geoff Endacott Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Get an independent quote for the cost of repairing the damage - then ask your daughter what she intends to do about it? She may surprise you by making an offer to meet at least part of the cost! Geoff Endacott Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dilbert Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 I suspect that the real hurt doesn't come from the damage itself, but the circumstances which led to items being damaged and money doesn't fix that disappointment. Your daughter should have the answers to those questions... if items in the rest of the house weren't treated in a similar fashion then involving the insurance company (and eventually the Police) will not assuage the problem. You should hold your daugther responsible and your discussions with her should be around that theme.... I would ask her what her course of action to fix the issues is - let her stew on this for 48 hours before coming back with answers... you might also drop a few hints regarding her friends (even those that weren't directly involved) response to this. She'll find out quickly who her true friends are and that should hold her in good stead for her adult life. In the meantime assess the damage as best as you can and present her the estimate repair cost... dilbert Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
signalmaintainer Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 How frustrating. I'd still be in too much of a rage to even write anything comprehensible at this point. Please consider this, and it's coming from the father of an almost-17-year-old daughter: This is a perfect opportunity for your daughter to learn the meaning of accountability -- in regard to herself and her friends. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyB Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 This may be the hardest way forward for you and may not be to your taste. Identify those that did the damage to the scenery. Get them to put it right. They'd have to be shown how to do so. In so doing they may come to respect the hard work you put in originally, they'd learn a new skill and maybe, just maybe you'd find some willing and interested helpers for your modelling in the future. As I said, it may not be to your taste but maybe bridge building could be a way forward. Andy Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
royaloak Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Hi chaps, So my 17 year old daughter had her birthday party last night. +++snip+++ Any help and suggestions greatly appreciated. Hire a hall or community centre next time. As the father of 19 and 17 year olds I would not entertain the idea of them having a party in my house. Kids these days have no respect for anyone elses property and just lie to get themselves off the hook because they have no idea about responsibility either. As for the damage caused you will just have to take it on the chin, you will never in a million years find out who did it and your insurance premium will increase next year if you claim off them. About the only way to get any money back is to claim it off your daughter, it was her party and so her responsibility to ensure everything went well, it didnt so she pays (which I would have made crystal clear before agreeing to a party going ahead). Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rope runner Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 woah woah guys, let's not generalise about teenagers now! My advice is to learn from it, speak to her about it calmly and just repair it. Bringing insurance and money into it will just make it ugly. At the end of the day model railways arn't the be all and end all Happy modelling Paul A. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coldgunner Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 If I were you, anything that can be fixed with a bit of glue and a few minutes work I'd just get on with it. For anything beyond repair or requires money to fix I'd make her pay for it. That way it'll make her think twice about associating with the people who did it, as I guess she has a fair idea. Not really worth compromising your insurance policy. edit: just had a gander at your gallery, nice layouts by the way! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanks522 Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 HI Malcolm, Sorry to hear what happened, never nice for anyones work to be damaged, I whole heartedly agree with royaloak's post, It was your daughters party so her responsibility to make sure no damage occurred to your property, As punishment i would make her pay for any repair work as a lesson not to let morons near her parents belongings. Graham. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
royaloak Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 woah woah guys, let's not generalise about teenagers now! Paul A. I have heard so many times about things getting damaged (or going walkies) from so many people it isnt really a generalisation. Out of about 30 people I know who have let a teenager having a party in their house, ranging from "oh my litle darling wouldnt allow anything to happen" to "the missus talked me into it". I would say at least 5 had serious damage caused to furniture (which needed replacing), about 20 had various levels of damage up to about £200 worth and 5 were pretty much okay with little/ no damage caused. With those sort of odds I wont entertain the idea, it isnt necessarily your kids that will be the problem but some of the "visitors" who are. My last bit still stands , make your daughter pay. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew1974 Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 It's over 20 years since I was a teenager.... ...but given the parties I went to when I was 17 this sounds rather tame... ...there is no way I would allow my 16 year old to have a party at home with me not being there. EVER!!!! Whilst this is obviously upsetting for you I'd put it down to experience and move on. Andrew Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon G Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 My sympathies. I was in a similar position some 2 years ago when my son decided to hold a party while my wife and I were away - he was 17 too. We knew nothing about it! Came home to find a small table destroyed, a lot of my booze gone and a number of other items had been used. We were livid - even to this day, my wife refuses to leave him in the house for more than a night on his own as the memory is still sore. As for your daughter, you need to be in a position where you can trust her in the future. This will depend very much on how she reacts to the situation - so for the sake of future harmony, I would give her the chance to rebuild your trust. I am sure that your layouts are your pride and joy, but in my opinion, the relationship with your daughter is far more important, and you need to try everything to maintain a good one. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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