RMweb Premium MJI Posted April 29, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 29, 2012 My daughter has this don't care attitude, she mistreats anything, including the computer, so I wacked down the temperature warnings to not much, cut sound levels to a minimum to use. No mechanical sympathy. She doesn;t realise she mistreats stuff so I have told her no way on earth any powered transport until she understands. Boys have more but not a lot. I have a lot. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold beast66606 Posted April 29, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 29, 2012 Legally (yes, with permission) she could be married and have had 2 children, so she should have the maturity to organise and supervise a party in a house which does not belongs to her, some accidental damage is inevitable but wilful damage says something about her choice of friends. I'm afraid her (apparent) lack of consideration for others belongings is an oft repeated tale I hear from many people who have kids around the same age, including my own son who has lost more mobile phones than I've ever owned, there seems to be an attitude amongst a lot (note I did not say all) of youth that "someone else" will sort it out, will replace it, will fix it. I've NEVER taught my son that, I always tried to get him, since he was very young, to realise that if he breaks a toy, it's gone, next time don't throw it down the stairs. If he broke (not talking about accidental breakage) a toy belonging to someone else then he would lose a treat or something to make him realise that we all have a responsibility to look after others belongings as well as our own, saying that I firmly believe his peer group have moved him back to the "couldn't care less" attitude. What can be done in this case ? Darned if I know, you are damned if you do (punish) and damned if you don't (all that teaches is you won't punish if it happens again) I'm also in agreement with the comments that railways ARE more important than a lot of things (to some of us, nothing wrong in that), I have a lot of unique, original, documents which no amount of money could ever replace, but it could repair a house / car / garden / furniture etc. etc. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katier Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Just asked my (18 year old) daughter what she thought... First answer.. which was actually a good one... "Lock them away next time" - which obviously means if you have your railway in a dedicated room and have kids.. put a lock on the door - good idea. "we've had parties and jess' before and her mom has had some cakes that she's made for people in the house she just put them in her room and made sure jess told us to stay out lmao simplesss in all honesty if you have a house party stuffs gonna end up broken soo either lock shizz away or don't have them they shouldn't get majoyly pissed at her though cause it's not like it's her that did it and it's hard to keep track of what alot of people are doing all at once lol so unless she let them do it/knew and didn't stop them there's not reeeeally much she coulda done about it and it's not her fault really" That's her full reply and actually it does make sense. Doesn't help in this case, and I certainly think there is nothing wrong with 'house parties' in general (most teens have them) but well worth if you have kids making sure you can lock the room they are contained in... Once alcohol speaks people do stupid things.. that's one of the things with alcohol... impairs judgement etc. Lesson learnt and actually a pretty good reply IMHO... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Max Stafford Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 I'm sure some of the kids coming to these parties will have their own cars. Well if you kids have cars; mirrors get broken and tyres get let down outside the family pile. Hey, stuff happens... Dave. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruciethefish Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 As an owner of teenage daughters myself, I personally wouldn't even contemplate letting them have a party here... The older one has a constant trail of monosyllabic oiks, whose faces you rarely see through their ever-so-trendy hair.. & the younger is away with the fairies most of the time. I just tell them that when they have their own houses, they can do what they like in them... As regards this situation, I think it's unfortunate that the OP is so worried about approaching his insurance company. If there's an excess on the policy, & the damage is actually superficial, then claiming doesn't make sense, but on the other hand, if there were several hundreds of pounds worth, what are you paying the premium for if you can't claim? If you are insured with a reputable company, they should accept that the damage incurred was beyond your control, & pay up. If they don't, then you should consider changing your insurer.. I've done a number of quotes for insurance purposes, & you'd be surprised at how much even moderate repairs could cost at professional rates. As regards the unfortunate Daughter, if she's anything like mine, she'll be expecting lifts all over the place, so how about using the time you'd normally spend driving her places to do your repairs instead? It's a gentle punishment, but having to walk might make her think a bit about what this has cost you... Chris, (professional modelmaker, & Lloyd's broker in a former life) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
malcolmy Posted April 30, 2012 Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 Last night I was able to rationally review the damage to my layouts. Thankfully, and as I suspected, there is really only superficial damage - it just looked shocking at first! My N gauge layout has had one tree felled, and a couple bent. The footbridge has been detached. Various people have been scattered, and one platform bench crushed. One of the coaches that fell to the floor has lost a buffer. All the other stock was just derailed, but not damaged. I therefore conclude that someone stumbled/fell into the layout. My OO layout has had three trees uprooted, a couple of (whitemetal) platform lamps bent, and people scattered. A couple of my Bachmann Mk1s seem to have a problem with the bogies/close-coupling mechanisms which mean they derail on corners. Loco damage was a clip-fit chimney on my Bachmann Std 4, which I've refitted, and a bent coupling on a Lima Western diesel - which presumably protected all the superdetailed cab front! All other damage was just displaced/derailed items, rather than actual damage. So all in all, I think my layouts have escaped relatively unscathed. I guess just the unwanted attention of one or more clumsy (drunk) teens! Perhaps one of the hidden benefits of DCC is that it's not easy for an unbeliever to turn it on, and play! The rest of the house suffered a little too - mostly just spilled drinks. The most serious damage was to my downstairs WC door which has had a hole kicked in it This is easily (and cheaply) replaced though. Thanks for all your suggestions... The guys who caused the door damage have agreed to pay £50 for a new door. My daughter will be docked £50 allowance to pay for time/materials for me to repair my layouts. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
M Graff Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Isn't this the standard UK teenage girl? :-) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted April 30, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 30, 2012 The rest of the house suffered a little too - mostly just spilled drinks. The most serious damage was to my downstairs WC door which has had a hole kicked in it This is easily (and cheaply) replaced though. Thanks for all your suggestions... The guys who caused the door damage have agreed to pay £50 for a new door. My daughter will be docked £50 allowance to pay for time/materials for me to repair my layouts. This is the part I do not understand, at what point during the evening did they think that was a good idea !! I think you have let them off lightly, I would make them organise and pay for it to be done professionally, as a chippie the cost of a door plus the time to do just one in a house the bill would be in the order of £75 -£100, (doing say 2 more would only add a small amount of time hence the high initial cost). You will also have to decorate it when hung. The worst part is the complete lack of respect for your home from those attending, and that sadly includes your daughter. You are the only one who knows how to talk/deal with her but I think she needs to be made aware that although physical damage to items can be seen it and dealt with it will be your lack of future trust in her that will hurt the most. She needs to grow up and ditch some of the so called "friends" before they drag her further down to their level. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
robert17649 Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 this is no help really but when my daughter had a party at 17, some of my ukulele collection got damaged,not the really good ones but a couple of reasonable"players". Cross was not the word,however one of the dads turned out to be a guitar builder and they got repaired for free. Face up as they say the daughter you never know who they know. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Natalie Graham Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 "Lock them away next time" - which obviously means if you have your railway in a dedicated room and have kids.. put a lock on the door - good idea. Good idea, then unlock the door and let them out when they are ready to go home. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold chris p bacon Posted April 30, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 30, 2012 this is no help really but when my daughter had a party at 17, some of my ukulele collection got damaged,not the really good ones but a couple of reasonable"players". Cross was not the word,however one of the dads turned out to be a guitar builder and they got repaired for free. Face up as they say the daughter you never know who they know. I heard that the best tune a Ukelee or banjo played was when they were thrown in a skip and hit an accordian... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Max Stafford Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Better if the accordion's leaning on a lamp-post... Dave. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold martin_wynne Posted April 30, 2012 RMweb Gold Share Posted April 30, 2012 It's all too easy to shoot down every single teenager that has ever lived and demand recompense for their sins because they're a teenager. I find it rather depressing that such a large majority on RMweb - a forum where there's a few decent teenage modellers and those in their early 20s - seem to get the double barrel out and shoot a whole group every time a minority of said group do something unacceptable. Agreed. Demonising an entire generation will eventually destroy this country. This post by a 16-year-old in Dublin makes thoughtful reading: http://goldwingfacts...post_id=1444176 Martin. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium kevinlms Posted April 30, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 30, 2012 Last night I was able to rationally review the damage to my layouts. Thankfully, and as I suspected, there is really only superficial damage - it just looked shocking at first! My N gauge layout has had one tree felled, and a couple bent. The footbridge has been detached. Various people have been scattered, and one platform bench crushed. One of the coaches that fell to the floor has lost a buffer. All the other stock was just derailed, but not damaged. I therefore conclude that someone stumbled/fell into the layout. My OO layout has had three trees uprooted, a couple of (whitemetal) platform lamps bent, and people scattered. A couple of my Bachmann Mk1s seem to have a problem with the bogies/close-coupling mechanisms which mean they derail on corners. Loco damage was a clip-fit chimney on my Bachmann Std 4, which I've refitted, and a bent coupling on a Lima Western diesel - which presumably protected all the superdetailed cab front! All other damage was just displaced/derailed items, rather than actual damage. So all in all, I think my layouts have escaped relatively unscathed. I guess just the unwanted attention of one or more clumsy (drunk) teens! Perhaps one of the hidden benefits of DCC is that it's not easy for an unbeliever to turn it on, and play! The rest of the house suffered a little too - mostly just spilled drinks. The most serious damage was to my downstairs WC door which has had a hole kicked in it This is easily (and cheaply) replaced though. Thanks for all your suggestions... The guys who caused the door damage have agreed to pay £50 for a new door. My daughter will be docked £50 allowance to pay for time/materials for me to repair my layouts. This sounds like an excellent all round result. Relatively minor damage & can be easily fixed without involving insurance or worse the law. Additionally it sounds like you, your daughter and her friends have learnt lessons. As Kenton stated earlier, the party could have been gatecrashed by large groups of drunken teens, then you would really have had trouble & layout damage would probably be irrelevant. Thankfully they are somewhat rare. Kevin Martin Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poggy1165 Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 I think it's worked out right well in the end, with lessons learned all round. We all make ***** of ourselves sometimes when young, anyone who says he/she didn't has a short memory or should be applying at the Vatican for sainthood. It could actually have been a whole lot worse. My suggestion is that next time your daughter wants a party, tell her that it'll have to be at an outside venue with her footing the room hire costs. Or alternatively fit a strong lock to the railway room, hide your valuables and breakables, and charge a £250 security deposit payable in advance. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Brit70053 Posted April 30, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted April 30, 2012 Hi Malcolmy, I get the feeling that 'letting off steam' (sorry, the only appropriate phrase) on here has done you some good and enabled you to see the true scale of the damage, ie not so bad as it first appeared. More Brownie points to RMWeb's counsellors then. Some of the more reasoned contributions on this thread have led me to consider the haste with which I ticked the 'Like' box on the "I know what I'd do" post, so my act in haste - repent at leisure state of mind has been modified to my benefit too. Hope the repairs go well and that the family remains an amicable unit. Regards, John Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Steven B Posted May 2, 2012 RMweb Premium Share Posted May 2, 2012 I'd try to rebuild the trust in your father-daughter relationship by getting her to help you repair the damage done to the scenary on your layouts. You both get some time to bond and talk about how you feel let down and disapointed (a sense of guilt is something every parent should teach their children). Don't labour it too much though - once the damage has been fixed forget about it! In helping to fix the damage, she will perhaps get a better understanding of how much time and effort it will take to repair a few seconds worth of careless-ness. She might even enjoy it! If any stock is damaged beyond repair then ask her & her friends to replace it - there's no point in going through the hassle of getting the insurance company involved. Happy modelling. Steven B. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
black and decker boy Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 Agreed. Demonising an entire generation will eventually destroy this country. This post by a 16-year-old in Dublin makes thoughtful reading: http://goldwingfacts...post_id=1444176 Martin. As one who lived through the Acid House illegal rave generation as a teenager, being demonised by your elders isn't really that bad. You still get to grow up, make mistakes and eventually, when you are in your 30s, settle down, move to a nice house and then worry about the teenage louts who hang around the street corner. Its amazing the things you once did that now scare the hell out of you when you know what you did was innocent 98% of the time. The newspapers have a lot to answer for telling us that all teenagers carry knives, take drugs, mug old ladies, burgle houses and car jack anything with wheels to take them to McDonalds. Thankfully, most teenagers are just bored sitting in with their boring parents and meet up with like minded hairy oiks (back in the day, we had shaved heads which my parents did not approve of) to chat and do all of those 98% innocent things that we did. The 2% of not so innocent is getting harder these days with the price of beer and fags but they seem to survive.... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
devondynosoar118 Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 The newspapers have a lot to answer for telling us that all teenagers carry knives, take drugs, mug old ladies, burgle houses and car jack anything with wheels to take them to McDonalds. Thankfully, most teenagers are just bored sitting in with their boring parents and meet up with like minded hairy oiks (back in the day, we had shaved heads which my parents did not approve of) to chat and do all of those 98% innocent things that we did. The 2% of not so innocent is getting harder these days with the price of beer and fags but they seem to survive.... Well said that man! This reminds me of a story my father in law told me about an event he was at. Pensioners and young people were discussing the generation gap, one teenager with the great confidence of youth said something like "our generation has had computers, the internet, mobile phones, global travel etc, how did you all grow up with out it?" the pensioner simply replied " we invented it, what are you doing to change the world?" I paraphrase slightly but that was the gist and most of the punchline! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
royaloak Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 As for "trying to rebuild your trust in your daughter", your daughter should be trying to rebuild your trust not the other way round. Martin, that link (post 65) is very thought provoking indeed. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heinz57 Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 I'm sorry to hear that this happend to you. But at least the damage was only superfical and is repairable. The just talking to your daughter aproach is the best way around this thing, as Steven mentioned, it could be an idea to ask your daughter to carry out the repairs. It will give her an understanding of how delicate these things are, and the time it takes to construct and maintain them. The time together will also keep strong bonds in place between you. She may even enjoy it! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
royaloak Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 She may even enjoy it! Or tell you to f, um go away! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 Sorry to read of damage to models and possessions like this - hope you get it sorted. I'd also consider introducibng and encouraging the concept of pubs and bars - never wanted a party at home, I'd only have to clear it up! So pubs, clubs and bars always seemed like a much better proposition! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baby Deltic Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 I think you should definately make her cough up some dough towards the cost of repairing the models. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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