Why are railway modellers so clumsy?

[bagpipes331]

Hi Andy.

 

Thanks for the donation, I will send the wheelbarrow back as it tends to drag on the sandy beach. (Although I did like the malachite green finish)

 

 

I have used your donation wisely and installed an essential irrigation system in my new pad......

 

 

Keep the subs rolling in.....

[Jaz]

Is that the His and Hers option for when club members come to visit and bring the misses?

I know it's hot but I suspect they will not want separate beds.

Your not expecting to charge extra for members other halves are you?!? Several probably are in hock to their eyeballs for the basic subscription fees. 

Should a train or two not be visible for this new club site?????

Will these fees cover members in the manner of time shares? Should they be quickly booking their two weeks?

I hope transport is laid on from the airport to the new club.........

[bagpipes331]

Is that the His and Hers option for when club members come to visit and bring the misses?

I know it's hot but I suspect they will not want separate beds.

Your not expecting to charge extra for members other halves are you?!? Several probably are in hock to their eyeballs for the basic subscription fees. 

Should a train or two not be visible for this new club site?????

Will these fees cover members in the manner of time shares? Should they be quickly booking their two weeks?

I hope transport is laid on from the airport to the new club.........

 

Hi Jaz,

 

Sorry for the delay, but I have been a little tied up with a change of suite, due to clumsy acccountants and clumsier tax adviser.....

 

 

Susequently, I have added a new range to my clumsy modeller clothing range.....

 

 

So, for now forget about jetting off to our luxury HQ, and get on a No.49 bus to the S.H.E.D!!  (Can you pick up some weed killer for the roof?)

[bagpipes331]

Hi again Jaz,

 

Sorry no train pics from here, but as these clumsy accountants are all coupled together, I thought it may make a reasonable substitute.......

 

[bagpipes331]

Having some time on my hands, I have now completed my research in to the science of remembering your glasses are on your head, and not in the workshop (Mr Westerhamstation)

 

The device will be added to my winter collection......

 

(The mirror is adjustable to suit large or small heads)

 

 

 

[DaveB]

I see danger here! A swift turn of the head to see what SWIMBO is on about, and a whole shelf load of minuscule parts could be swept to the unknown!

 

 

Dave

[PhilJ W]

Hi Jaz,

 

Sorry for the delay, but I have been a little tied up with a change of suite, due to clumsy acccountants and clumsier tax adviser.....

 

Screen Shot 2013-07-29 at 09.31.12.png

 

Susequently, I have added a new range to my clumsy modeller clothing range.....

 

Screen Shot 2013-07-29 at 09.26.58.png

 

So, for now forget about jetting off to our luxury HQ, and get on a No.49 bus to the S.H.E.D!!  (Can you pick up some weed killer for the roof?)

You should not have tried to cash those £3 notes I sent you.

[westerhamstation]

Having some time on my hands, I have now completed my research in to the science of remembering your glasses are on your head, and not in the workshop (Mr Westerhamstation)

 

The device will be added to my winter collection......

 

(The mirror is adjustable to suit large or small heads)

 

Clumsy hat.jpg

I knew you would not let me down, I can see these being a big seller, and a great addition to the Winter Collection, my compliments to the lads in R & D.

Ps: will you be offering the club logo or name on the cap ( at an additional cost of course.)  

[bagpipes331]

I see danger here! A swift turn of the head to see what SWIMBO is on about, and a whole shelf load of minuscule parts could be swept to the unknown!

 

 

Dave

With my luck, I would end up swiping Mrs Bagpipes    

[bagpipes331]

You should not have tried to cash those £3 notes I sent you.

Nah,

It was Mrs SM42s  3,000,000,000. old zloty that caught me out.

[bagpipes331]

I knew you would not let me down, I can see these being a big seller, and a great addition to the Winter Collection, my compliments to the lads in R & D.

Ps: will you be offering the club logo or name on the cap ( at an additional cost of course.)  

 

Yes,

Each cap will be embroided with the classic Clumsy T.W.I.T motif

[faulcon1]

As a new person on here I have a garden railway in OO gauge and have knocked the flux bottle over when soldering the copper bonds on rail joints. I have tried the loo roll glued to a thick piece of card to no effect as the wind can pick it up and send it flying across the garden.

The other day I was rebonding some rail joints and once finished I turned off the soldering iron and for some unknown reason wound the cord around the soldering station and managed to get the plastic power cord to touch the still hot iron which melted it.

I too have lost screws and managed to lose the fixing screw of my Lord of the Isles that attaches the body to the chassis. I unscrewed it to fit a DCC decoder and the screw sprang off into the ether. I never found it.

 

Clumsiness seems to run in our family as my grandfather was taking the flaking paint off the ceiling of the bathroom in the mid 1950's with a paint scraper and thinking to himself what an awful mess all over the bathroom. So he got the barrel vacuum and taped the nozzle to the scraper blade and tried that. It worked a real treat, until he reached too far without first moving the vacuum and the hose and scraper blade parted company. The hose of the still sucking vacuum going into the loo bowl which it sucked dry. Thinking to himself that the easiest way to fix the problem it to take the vacuum out into the back garden and put the hose in the other end and blow it free. Unfortunately he only turned the vacuum off at the wall switch. He went downstairs and plugged the vacuum in. He put the hose in the other end and thought I'll switch the vacuum on here and then I'll turn the vacuum on when I get outside. So he did. Wet, sloppy muck not only from the bathroom ceiling but also the contents from the carpets from when it was last emptied was blown up the stairs all over the new wallpaper (which it soaked into and ruined) and all over him. On switching off the vacuum he went into the sitting room where his wife said 'oh hullo Harry how's it all going up there?'   

[bagpipes331]

 

 

Clumsiness seems to run in our family as my grandfather was taking the flaking paint off the ceiling of the bathroom in the mid 1950's with a paint scraper and thinking to himself what an awful mess all over the bathroom. So he got the barrel vacuum and taped the nozzle to the scraper blade and tried that. It worked a real treat, until he reached too far without first moving the vacuum and the hose and scraper blade parted company. The hose of the still sucking vacuum going into the loo bowl which it sucked dry. Thinking to himself that the easiest way to fix the problem it to take the vacuum out into the back garden and put the hose in the other end and blow it free. Unfortunately he only turned the vacuum off at the wall switch. He went downstairs and plugged the vacuum in. He put the hose in the other end and thought I'll switch the vacuum on here and then I'll turn the vacuum on when I get outside. So he did. Wet, sloppy muck not only from the bathroom ceiling but also the contents from the carpets from when it was last emptied was blown up the stairs all over the new wallpaper (which it soaked into and ruined) and all over him. On switching off the vacuum he went into the sitting room where his wife said 'oh hullo Harry how's it all going up there?'   

The real clumsiness was your grandad letting your grandmother know he knew where  the vacuum cleaner was kept. Once the mess was cleared up, he would have no excuse in the future when told to whip round with the hoover.

 

I made it a rule that I never played with my wife's Christmas presents......

 

[SM42]

Mrs SM42 would like to apologise about the zloty, but she was so pleased to get rid of them she hasn't stopped smiling for a week and even missed a day on the range.

 

Reading Faulcon's tale reminds me of the fact that the none modelling partner has no sympathy for the the modeller when calamity strikes. There is no concept of the pain and anguish that losing the front steps of your latest toy brings.

 

 "oh! " doesn't really cut it.

 

There is a similar phenomena when injury occurs during DIY. All I get is "haven't you finished that yet? You've still got the whole house to redecorate by tomorrow" as I am rushed off to casualty to have some bodily protrubence re-attached.

 

Or does this only happen in SM42 towers?

 

Andy

[bagpipes331]

 

Clumsiness seems to run in our family as my grandfather was taking the flaking paint off the ceiling of the bathroom in the mid 1950's with a paint scraper and thinking to himself what an awful mess all over the bathroom. So he got the barrel vacuum and taped the nozzle to the scraper blade and tried that. It worked a real treat, until he reached too far without first moving the vacuum and the hose and scraper blade parted company. The hose of the still sucking vacuum going into the loo bowl which it sucked dry. Thinking to himself that the easiest way to fix the problem it to take the vacuum out into the back garden and put the hose in the other end and blow it free. Unfortunately he only turned the vacuum off at the wall switch. He went downstairs and plugged the vacuum in. He put the hose in the other end and thought I'll switch the vacuum on here and then I'll turn the vacuum on when I get outside. So he did. Wet, sloppy muck not only from the bathroom ceiling but also the contents from the carpets from when it was last emptied was blown up the stairs all over the new wallpaper (which it soaked into and ruined) and all over him. On switching off the vacuum he went into the sitting room where his wife said 'oh hullo Harry how's it all going up there?'   

Thinking hard about your grandfathers clumsy predicament, there was a simple way to rescue the situation. First, sneak the vacuum cleaner back to the understairs cupboard. Then nip down to the zoo and borrow one of these.....

 

 

Job done!!

[bagpipes331]

Mrs SM42 would like to apologise about the zloty, but she was so pleased to get rid of them she hasn't stopped smiling for a week and even missed a day on the range.

 

Reading Faulcon's tale reminds me of the fact that the none modelling partner has no sympathy for the the modeller when calamity strikes. There is no concept of the pain and anguish that losing the front steps of your latest toy brings.

 

 "oh! " doesn't really cut it.

 

There is a similar phenomena when injury occurs during DIY. All I get is "haven't you finished that yet? You've still got the whole house to redecorate by tomorrow" as I am rushed off to casualty to have some bodily protrubence re-attached.

 

Or does this only happen in SM42 towers?

 

Andy

 

Several years back, I was installing a gas fire, and due to the condition of the chimney, I first had to drop down a stainless steel flue liner. Whilst attaching the razor sharp end to the sealing plate, I slipped and literally took the tops off three fingers. My precious blood was re-decorating the chaps house, and I said I was going down to the hospital. He threw a marrigold glove at me and told me not to be a wimp, and finish the job!! 

I was a lot younger then, and didn't have the confidence to force feed him the glove, and just got on with it. The tight git didn't even give me a tip as he had to buy a new pair of gloves!!

Anyway, I have just invested in a new set of tools for the Bagpipes residence, but first I must read the Health & Safety leaflet provided...

 

[SM42]

I'd be careful with that new toolkit.

 

The screwdriver looks like it is on something, those pliers things at the front look a bit too keen to be healthy, the saw looks a bit depressed, the hammer is not paying attention and lord knows what the surprised thing behind it is.

 

Andy

[bagpipes331]

I'd be careful with that new toolkit.

 

The screwdriver looks like it is on something, those pliers things at the front look a bit too keen to be healthy, the saw looks a bit depressed, the hammer is not paying attention and lord knows what the surprised thing behind it is.

 

Andy

Had a chat with the tools, turns out that the screwdriver (not the sharpest tool in the box) has been a bit clumsy and taken the saw's Prozac

[faulcon1]

Maybe his mind just switched off because for work he was a sheet metal worker and panel beater in the days when there were panel beaters where as today they're panel replacers. During the war dad told me he was in a reserved occupation and made artificial legs out of aluminum. He had to stretch the aluminum in such a way as to make sure it didn't split.

Like the rest of us his brain seemed to just 'switch off' once he got home. This was in the era when H&S hadn't been thought of.

 

They had a neighbour who asked them if he could borrow a step ladder to refill his concrete toilet cistern as the inlet valve had stuck shut. My grandfather said' why don't just pour buckets of water down the toilet bowl when one of your lot uses the loo'. The reply 'oh I never thought of that'.

[bagpipes331]

Maybe his mind just switched off because for work he was a sheet metal worker and panel beater in the days when there were panel beaters where as today they're panel replacers. During the war dad told me he was in a reserved occupation and made artificial legs out of aluminum. He had to stretch the aluminum in such a way as to make sure it didn't split.

Like the rest of us his brain seemed to just 'switch off' once he got home. This was in the era when H&S hadn't been thought of.

 

They had a neighbour who asked them if he could borrow a step ladder to refill his concrete toilet cistern as the inlet valve had stuck shut. My grandfather said' why don't just pour buckets of water down the toilet bowl when one of your lot uses the loo'. The reply 'oh I never thought of that'.

My father in law was a panel beater at Rolls Royce. One day, a neighbour brought home his brand new Roller, and proudly showed it off. My father in law, un impressed took one look and upset him by saying: Oh, thats just a pressed steel job!!

[faulcon1]

My mum's mother was also clumsy in her own way. In the days before oven ready fries you had make your own chips. My grandmother had a fuel stove in the kitchen powered by coal and once she'd finished with the fat she used to cook the chips, she just poured it directly onto the hot coal fire through an opening on the top of the cast iron stove. She always quickly put a heavy saucepan or kettle on top of the spot where she'd poured the fat into the fire. After a brief moment there was a woooomph!!!. The flue came out of the back of the stove at a horizontal angle and once on the outside wall of the house there was a right angle where the flue went up to clear the roof line of the house. On that right angle there was an inspection cover. More than once that was blasted off and hit the house next door. If not sheets of orange flame would come out of the flue at the top.

Once 'the clean air act' had come in my grandmother got an electric stove, but she still had problems. She would get the fat smoking hot to cook the chips. She'd wash the potatoes under cold tap water, put them in the frying basket and plunge it straight into the smoking hot fat. Well the water would instantly turn to steam the fat would rise up and over the top of the saucepan and set the stove on fire now the fat was on the red hot element. So she just picked the saucepan up and using her breath blew out the flames and put the saucepan back.      

[faulcon1]

My father in law was a panel beater at Rolls Royce. One day, a neighbour brought home his brand new Roller, and proudly showed it off. My father in law, un impressed took one look and upset him by saying: Oh, thats just a pressed steel job!!

I uploaded a video to you tube showing a class 25/1 and the start up sounds which I think came from another expensive English brand

http://youtu.be/BksgRt6nbDU

[bagpipes331]

My mum's mother was also clumsy in her own way. In the days before oven ready fries you had make your own chips. My grandmother had a fuel stove in the kitchen powered by coal and once she'd finished with the fat she used to cook the chips, she just poured it directly onto the hot coal fire through an opening on the top of the cast iron stove. She always quickly put a heavy saucepan or kettle on top of the spot where she'd poured the fat into the fire. After a brief moment there was a woooomph!!!. The flue came out of the back of the stove at a horizontal angle and once on the outside wall of the house there was a right angle where the flue went up to clear the roof line of the house. On that right angle there was an inspection cover. More than once that was blasted off and hit the house next door. If not sheets of orange flame would come out of the flue at the top.

Once 'the clean air act' had come in my grandmother got an electric stove, but she still had problems. She would get the fat smoking hot to cook the chips. She'd wash the potatoes under cold tap water, put them in the frying basket and plunge it straight into the smoking hot fat. Well the water would instantly turn to steam the fat would rise up and over the top of the saucepan and set the stove on fire now the fat was on the red hot element. So she just picked the saucepan up and using her breath blew out the flames and put the saucepan back.      

 

 

[richard brown]

Ithink it is time for me to join the clumsy club. I have my layout in the attic which means on a number of times things fall out screews empty boxes current project. The most clumsily one must on be on the first version when I had a 2 sidings faceing inward next to the area where is site and next to the the hole. I had just got the track to work and just stared on dcc I set a just chiped 2 car unit off and was running a second train everything was going well I did not see how the points were set. So train 1 running on it own train 2 under my control next thing I knew I heared was a click click click turend around to see the train track a noise dive down to the landing down a good 7 foot down. The train had a small amount of damage.

 

Richard

[faulcon1]

Another member here has mentioned a magnetic tool which if used in a confined space to try and get that nut of bolt which is just out of reach will magnatise itself to any metal.

Well my dad helping his dad to fix the car would often have the job of shining the torch into the engine bay. Often my grandfather would say one of two phrases to my dad. No.1: 'can you see what your doing' if my dad said 'yes' my grandfather would say ' I'm glad of that because I can't!' or No.2: 'can see what your doing' if my dad said 'no' my grandfather would answer ' well how on earth do you expect me to'. I think they had just finished de-coking the engine, which is something we gladly don't have to do now.

Also he got very agitated if someone said ' you just bend that straight' His face would go blood red with the reply that ' you can bend something or straighten something but you cannot bend something straight!!!!'. My mum pulled up her driving instructor who told her to 'drive straight round the next corner.