A Story from a Yard

[Mick Bonwick]

The scene is a corner of the railway yard somewhere close to the village. Jack and Arthur sit contemplating the wisdom of the new Land Rover being parked so close to the tree. After all, last night's storm brought down several branches. Still, it wasn't up to them, now was it? And anyway, it'll soon be time to put the kettle on.

 

[The Johnster]

Well, it clearly isn't their Landy, is it, or they'd have moved it if the tree was bothering them. So long as it isn't blocking the standpipe tap to fill the kettle...  Whose turn is it to bring the milk?

[Nick C]

2 hours ago, The Johnster said:

Well, it clearly isn't their Landy, is it, or they'd have moved it if the tree was bothering them. So long as it isn't blocking the standpipe tap to fill the kettle...  Whose turn is it to bring the milk?

I misread that the first time, and it still made perfect sense: Well, it clearly isn't their Landy, is it, or they'd have moved the tree if it was bothering them.

[black and decker boy]

Yes but what colour was the cat?

[Ruffnut Thorston]

Black and White cat...the licence is cheaper!

 

[nickwood]

Reminiscing?

 

By the way I'm impressed that I could spell it correctly first time

 

[Mick Bonwick]

10 hours ago, nickwood said:

Reminiscing?

 

By the way I'm impressed that I could spell it correctly first time

 

 

I'm impressed by your memory.

 

There are two or more people 'on here' who may declare recognition, but I'm prepared to take that risk.

 

The differing responses will be interesting!

[Mick Bonwick]

Several hours previously, a good few miles away, in the office at the junction station, the discussion centred around the advisability of putting the new machinery for Hill Farm in an open wagon. The crane was in the main yard, a long way from the gate Farmer Hecklethorpe would be obliged to use because of the blocked road. Fallen trees had a habit of creating mayhem just when everybody wanted an easy time. Could they invent a reason for delaying the delivery that would be believed by both the farmer and the yard staff? If they could, it would avoid a lot of problems.

[Nick C]

11 hours ago, Ruffnut Thorston said:

Black and White cat...the licence is cheaper!

 

That's not a cat licence - it's a dog licence with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in in crayon.

[Mick Bonwick]

Back in the village, Ernie was having difficulty remembering where he had left his bow saw. Last winter had been quite mild and there had been no call-outs. It should still be at the back of the big shed, hanging on the wall. Had Bert borrowed it without asking? He didn’t normally do that sort of thing, but then he was getting on a bit. Or was it still in the back of the truck, hidden under the tarpaulin? He should have hung it up to dry after it blew into the river last week, (the tarpaulin, not the truck), but what with all the fuss about the chickens and ducks from the farm being scared by it, he’d completely forgotten.

 

[The Johnster]

In the bar of the Fox Amongst The Chickens, Billy Barton the landlord, normally irrepressibly cheerful, has a frown on his face today.  The tree, and Ernie's misplacing of the bow saw, means that the dray lorry cannot deliver from the brewery, and stocks are low after the celebration last Saturday of the pub's Morris side's victory in the regional championship, which co-incided with a birthday among the campanologists, always heavy drinkers.  And there's a visiting darts team tonight from the Poacher's, their rivals since a dispute about a goat some 700 years ago; this could be a serious loss of income and face, and if there's one thing that wipea the usual smile off of Billy's visage, it's a loss of income and face, especially to the Poachers; he'll never live it down!

 

He is considering going up to the Manor House to see if a bow saw is to be had up there, or at Home Farm, and having a go at the offending arborial layabout himself!  But there's no time now, as he has to open soon.  What a pity he didn't listen to Barbara and get the telephone put in; he'd be able to contact the Manor then!

[Mick Bonwick]

The call from the railway people had come as a bit of a surprise. Yes, it had been a bit windy last night, but not bad enough to blow down that tree on the corner, surely? And anyway, it wasn’t that big. They could have used that new Land Rover to pull it onto the verge – they kept boasting about its abilities. Ernie considered calling Bert but realised it was after opening time, so he’d be out of the house by now. That would be a good reason for having a quick pint though, wouldn’t it? Nobody could blame him for that.

[Mick Bonwick]

It was well past opening time, but Eric was still wiping the glasses clean instead of filling them for customers. Normally there would be at least 4 regulars here by now having their lunchtime refreshment. He called upstairs to Brenda, the barmaid, to ask if she was ready yet. There was no answer, so he continued wiping and wondering. It was a real nuisance about the pies. This last week several customers had been asking for pies at lunchtime. Apparently the bigger pubs in town had started selling snacks at lunchtime as well as during the evening. Why couldn’t they just be happy with a couple of pints? Or three or four. Giving them food as well would mean getting an oven and asking Brenda to do even more. Maybe he should ask the bread delivery chap to increase the order and just make sandwiches, Surely Brenda would find that easier? He’d ask her when she decided to come down and get on with some work.

[Mick Bonwick]

Percy was fed up. The local plod had stopped him from coming down the lane to the pub and he’d had to go all the way up the hill and round the farm to get there. Something about a tree at the corner, not that Percy remembered seeing one there. He was normally too busy checking the lane for Hecklethorpe’s rickety old tractor whenever he got to that corner, it always seemed to be there when he wanted to be and the old codger never gave way, it was always the other driver who had to get out of the way. It had taken him most of the week to get the mud off his van after having to reverse into the field gateway on Monday’s delivery. Now he was behind time and still had three deliveries to do. Maybe Eric would be in a good mood and would let him have a half of shandy, that wouldn’t affect his driving, would it? It would certainly take his mind off being late. And he might get a chance to ogle that Brenda. She was a handsome girl, that one.

[Mick Bonwick]

Samuel Johnstone sighed with relief. Who would have thought that there was a loading ramp at the end of the old siding down by the pub? As far back as he could remember (which was quite a long way!) there had only ever been a pile of logs covered in grass and weeds there. Every time a branch fell off the trees around the yard, it would be added to the pile and left to rot. This discovery was going to save a lot of trouble; because once the logs were cleared old Farmer Hecklethorpe could just drive his new tractor off the wagon and onto the ramp, instead of Samuel having to find somebody to use the crane to unload it. Right, then, what was the number they’d given that new telephone that had been installed in the entrance hut? It was time for some work to be done.

[Mick Bonwick]

Arthur was just pouring the tea when the telephone rang, making him jump and spill Jack’s tea over the table. What could be the reason for the telephone ringing? Nobody ever rang this office and neither Jack nor he could understand why the darned thing had been installed in the first place. Waste of money, it was. If they wanted to talk to Jack or him they could walk from the station, couldn’t they? After all, if they wanted any instructions for the day they had to walk to the station, didn’t they? Arthur picked up the handset and waited for somebody to say something. There was silence for a few seconds and then a voice said, “Hullo, anybody there?” Arthur assured the caller that there was indeed somebody there, and he would still be there after lunch to help unload some machinery for a Mr Hecklethorpe. The load would be there soon, and had to be shunted into the old siding because of some tree or something that had blocked the road, preventing access via the main gate. Mr Johnstone left him in no doubt about what needed to be done.

 

[Mick Bonwick]

Brenda was trying to ignore Eric calling her from downstairs. She really didn’t want to go down to work today. Yes, fine, it was nice that she’d been able to talk Eric into letting her stay in the spare room for the time being, until Uncle Bert had got the house straight, but he’s now taking advantage of me. Not only had she had to work late two nights on the trot, she was now having to fend off unwanted attention from that Percy who drives the bread van. She’d seen him sneaking looks at her while she was up on the stool hanging up the new ornaments. That was last week when he brought the delivery into the bar instead of leaving it at the door like he was supposed to. Any more of that and she’d have to go back to wearing trousers. Ernie wouldn’t like that, of course; “Must have some feminine presence behind the bar, my girl”, he’d say. There he was now, look, standing talking to Eric outside the front door. I’ll bet he looks up here to see if I’m around . . . . . .

[Mick Bonwick]

Jack wondered where his cup of tea had got to. Arthur always had been a bit slow when it came to his turn – there was always some excuse or other. Why couldn’t he just get on with it and stop messing about? “I’ll bet he’s talking on that telephone”, he thought to himself, “I thought I heard it ringing just now. Maybe he’s got himself a fancy woman – wouldn’t put it past him, the randy beggar”. He looked across to the weeds growing between the rails at the end of the old siding, and the pile of logs behind the buffer stop. He thought he’d better remember to report them to the Stationmaster tomorrow morning, because if the pile got any higher it might collapse and make a bigger mess than was already there. That way he might escape having to do something about them himself. With any luck Arthur would be told to sort it all out, him being the junior of the two of them.

[Oldddudders]

Makes Eastenders look like a soap-opera. 

[Stubby47]

I'm just expecting Horst and some Prussians to appear...

 

[Mick Bonwick]

Erasmus Hecklethorpe stood looking at his wonderful new tractor, just poking its rear wheels out from underneath the protective tarpaulin. How clever of the staff at the junction station to put it onto a low-loader wagon – he’d now be able to drive it straight off the wagon, onto the loading ramp and away back to the farm. He certainly wasn’t going to let Bert do that, not in a month of Sundays. Bert was far better employed cutting up that fallen tree down the lane. And who was it who remembered the loading ramp was there? Samuel Johnstone expressed surprise and doubt when he had telephoned him and told him about it. Every cloud has a silver lining, doesn’t it? If it hadn’t been for that tree coming down in the storm, he would have to have waited  until the tractor was unloaded by the crane in the main station yard, and that old thing took ages to lift anything, especially if there was only one person working it.

[Mick Bonwick]

Bert couldn’t understand why, all of a sudden, he had a whole list of things that he had to do. It had all started with that letter from his sister in town. Her Brenda wanted a new job because she felt she was going nowhere in her current job. Yes, it was fine selling records and listening to that rock ‘n’ roll rubbish all day, but where do you go next? She’d wanted another job where she could meet people and ‘see a bit of life’, whatever that meant. Bert had mentioned it in the pub and Eric had overheard him. Why did landlords have such good hearing? Eric had said he’d be happy to give her a trial behind the bar, and she could start as soon as she liked. Then Bert realised that she’d not be able to travel home after work because the last train would have gone half an hour earlier. All this cutting back of services was wreaking havoc with village life. He’d rung his sister from the pub to say that it wouldn’t work out, but all he got back was, “Why don’t you clear all that rubbish out of your spare room and let her sleep in there?” That would take weeks, and it wasn’t rubbish. All of it would come in useful one day.

[Mick Bonwick]

Then Ernie had told him that there was a tree in the road up past the pub. They’d got to clear it as soon as possible because it was lying right across the road where the new bus service was going to pass. He couldn’t understand why they needed a bus, what was wrong with the train? Then Eric had told him that the Railway had said the station was going to close and the trains would stop running. What sort of a way was that to run a country? They’ll be sending us off to the pub for lunch next! And then Hecklethorpe said he needed the tractor taking to the garage because the new one was arriving at the station. Bert was sure he felt a headache coming on – he’d have to go and have a pint to help clear it up. Nieces, trees and tractors didn’t go well together, not in Bert’s world.

[62613]

On 10/04/2021 at 03:19, The Johnster said:

In the bar of the Fox Amongst The Chickens, Billy Barton the landlord, normally irrepressibly cheerful, has a frown on his face today.  The tree, and Ernie's misplacing of the bow saw, means that the dray lorry cannot deliver from the brewery, and stocks are low after the celebration last Saturday of the pub's Morris side's victory in the regional championship, which co-incided with a birthday among the campanologists, always heavy drinkers.  And there's a visiting darts team tonight from the Poacher's, their rivals since a dispute about a goat some 700 years ago; this could be a serious loss of income and face, and if there's one thing that wipea the usual smile off of Billy's visage, it's a loss of income and face, especially to the Poachers; he'll never live it down!

 

He is considering going up to the Manor House to see if a bow saw is to be had up there, or at Home Farm, and having a go at the offending arborial layabout himself!  But there's no time now, as he has to open soon.  What a pity he didn't listen to Barbara and get the telephone put in; he'd be able to contact the Manor then!

Morris sides (at least you got that bit right, although there's an online debate about nomenclature at the moment) aren't normally attached to pubs, except as places to refuel after their exertions; nor do they compete. They don't need any excuse for a beer....or two.....or six......

[96701]

Bert was in for a bit of luck. Whilst he was having a pint and ruing his lot, Fred turned up with his Aveling and Porter engine to assist with dragging the tree out of the way, so there was no rush to cut it up any more. We will have to see whether or not this is a "good thing". 

 

In the mean time, Bert was coppering up to see if he could have another or make the first one last.