BEMF control of a motor involves a PI or PID control loop with feedback from the motor. It can only be 100% truly effective if tuned for every individual motor (or at least motor type). This is quite a technical process and would be beyond most modellers. Anything else is just a varying degree of compromise. The better decoder manufacturers give you CVs to allow you to tune the control loop. Lenz just have "motor type" with little explanation. I don't know exactly what CV10 does on the DCC concepts decoders. At the other end of the scale you should be able to adjust the P, I and D constants. The Zimo decoder manuals give an idea how much adjustment there can be. At high speed the time taken to perform the BEMF sampling can adversely affect control and there should be a CV to set the speed at which BEMF is reduced or turned off altogether, so "partially disabling" BEMF may be exactly the right thing to do, depending what CV10 is actually doing. Zimo decoders adjust the BEMF sampling automatically.
I don't think any of the issues described are down to faulty decoders, just that they need to be setup for the loco they are used in. Andrew