allan downes

"Lonely Are The Brave "

Outstanding work as usual, Peter. Cheers. Allan.

Or, how to kill a joke with too much information. Guy walks into a pub with a handful of dog's poo in each hand. Hey guys.Look what I nearly stepped into outside the door on the pavement - you know, the same pavement that the Council replaced last year but some of the slabs have cracked already , well not cracked right through so to speak but on closer inspection one or two might have but I'll have more up to date info for you later when I go back out - they're the two outside the Chinese Take away by the way, or is that the Ironmongers ...? Hmm...Anyway, these slabs are a different colour - or it could be the light and, at a glance, they look to be made out of concrete - or maybe not now when I come to think of it - or at least judging by those I bought at Wicks last year - or was that the year before ? - although I did get some in almost the same color from B&Q - or entirely another color altogether - or was that Homebase, I've got the receipt at home somewhere, kitchen draw under the hob I think - Oh dear, we haven't got a kitchen draw under the hob. You know how it goes, heh, heh. The wife might know but right now she's having a long earned rest in Benidorm with the milk man and his wife although I only saw two people get into the taxi. Anyway, where was I ?

Guy walks into a pub with a handful of dog's poo in each hand. "Hey guys. Look what I nearly stepped into !"

Dom Lttlewood. One time car dealer come overnight TV Presenter - I think. Anyway, I didn't really mind Dom at first - then his whole approach changed as he learned to 'Sing along' and over emphasize his script. Now he's just as annoying to listen to as the worst of 'em ! Another is Nick Knowles who went from hamming it up on DIY SOS to game shows where, for me, he was even twice annoying by trying to be something he's not and something he never will be. He should have stuck to his pick and shovel in the same way that Alan Titmarsh should have stuck to his pitch fork and, believe it or not, who suddenly appeared on TV just as I was typing this ? HER !!!!

Hi OG, That would have been the song "Buttons and Bows" from the film "The Paleface" with Bob Hope and Jayne Russel a rendition of which I gave on stage at our boarding school that was met with stunned and shocked silence ! The follow up was "Son of Paleface" but this time I gave the school end of term concert a wide berth ! Buttons and Bows Dinah Shore East is east and west is westAnd the wrong one I have chose Let's go where they keep on wearin' Those frills and flowers and buttons and bows Rings and things and buttons and bows. Don't bury me in this prairieTake me where the cement grows Let's move down to some big town Where they love a gal by the cut o' her clothes And you'll stand out, in buttons and bows. I'll love you in buckskinOr skirts that you've homespun But I'll love ya' longer, stronger Where yer friends don't tote a gun My bones denounce the buckboard bounceAnd the cactus hurts my toes Let's vamoose where gals keep a-usin' Those silks…

Thanks for that, Pete. Now that you mention it, the one I had was a six cylinder job and though I would have dearly liked to have kept it, stitching up a cracked block in those days would have cost more than what the car was worth. However, and having another web search, this could have been the model instead !

Not quite sure OG, but I would have thought "Tombstone "

Somebody tell Horsetan that I never had one of these but should have !

Sam Elliot. As good as the best ? Here he is almost unrecognizable from his first Western as the gambler in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid although he was uncredited And his more common image as we see him now

No long since I got back from Radiotherapy pre med - marking up under the scanner for treatment. This started at 9am this morning and I got home 8 plus hours later ! First of all they wanted to know who the heck I was since no appointment had been made. Had an appointment been made, I would have had to have a blood test before anyone could dare make the next move anyway. 3 hours later after being wheeled about by a very fine selection of nurses and dumped outside a very promising selection of departments who might at least have been remotely interested in who I was and why I was there until one of them took pity , took a blood sample although vacant expressions and even more vacant stares suggested they didn't know exactly why - which they didn't and were only trying to be friendly. After parting with my "Date of birth details and home address for the hundredth time, I was wheeled back to where it all begun but now guarded by Gestapo Lookalikes that blocked my way to the canteen, a sandwich and cup of coffee where I fell asleep for an hour only to be rudely awakened by a wandering nurse who then rambled something, moved me foreward a foot, then disappeared for ever. Nobody knew who or why, and I wasn't about to ask. However, the main idea behind my visit was actually completed in under ten minutes after which I was wheeled back to reception awaiting for a driver who was currently stuck on the Humber Bridge and who was new at the job and totally lost. So, in order to fill in my time whilst a search party was deployed, I spent a small fortune trying to coax a can of coke and a bag of crisps out of a vending machine in spite of it being embalmed inside and out in spiders webs and obviously nothing more than a money trap left there in order to exchange absolutely nothing for as much money it could possibly convince you to depart with by instructing you to "Keep trying. Who knows. Next time you might get lucky " Think I'll treat my own tumor. Now where's that Pecolube...

The big difference between yesterday's female hero's was that they mostly looked old enough and tough enough to lead men into war than ever could today's unconvincing replacements of Barbie Dolls - all hips, teeth and tits- put in charge of SWAT Squads and FBI Units. Excepting for Sigourney Weaver of course who's far too busy to be gunning down today's baddies in SCI New York when she has her hands full kicking Alien butt in the truly magnificent Aliens movies.

Calamity Jane. How she was And how she definitely wasn't !

Anybody remember this one ?

Same everywhere, Mal. Where company policies that provide to the NHS are concerned it's - If the public is paying for it, double the price .After all, who's gonna know, who's gonna care?

You call something unrealistic because it's covered in rust 57XX ? Would that be about as totally unrealistic as your sense of humor ?

The World's biggest recorded traffic jam ever was the 100 k long snarl up in Japan. And these ain't just a mere trickle either ! https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=+YOU+TUBEworlds+biggest+traffiv+ So, here's my question. WHY, OH WHY, OH WHY do these people knowingly and seemingly willingly, drive hell bent into these situations ? Talk about Tin God worship.

Think I had one of these once and apart from obviously being a Vauxhall, I'm not sure as to what model. All I remember, is that it had train carriage style straps with which to lower the windows, that I got off my Uncle Fred who's interpretation of a "Small leak" was a cracked block. Never got it repaired and swapped it with a Ford Eight that had a cracked everything. This wonderment ended up in the Village Duck pond which had disappeared altogether beneath a blanket of fog on a bend outside of Caddington, Beds on the way to work. Anyone know what it is?

Been in and out of the hospital so much lately with my naughty lung tumor I'm thinking about having a penthouse built on top of the hospital. Off to Hull tomorrow for initial 'Mark Up' then it's 10 sessions of Radiotherapy. That should be fun...

Another almost forgotten Western with Gregory Peck, Omar Sharif with great supporting cast is M'Kenna's Gold.

Like the US, people here have a deep love affair with their car. It Doesn't necessarily have to be a Roller or an Aston, any old heap will attract equal attention out on the drive, Sunday morning then, once cleaned, what's the next move ? Head out for the nearest Motorway of course and spend the rest of Sunday in gridlock hoping someone will admire your gleaming paint job but not necessarily the non existent wheel arches and ventilated sills. Build an 8 lane motorway and within minutes of opening it will be gridlocked. Build a 12 lane motorway and all that will do is l attract all those that couldn't find room on the 8 lane motorway. In other words "You build 'em. We'll fill 'em. My contribution.

Watched a great movie last night - a kind of Australian Western, Quigley Down Under with Tom Selleck and Alan Rickman. An unusual casting you might think, but can you think of one any better ?

Sorry guys - wrong motorway. Should have read M18O

Never drove one, Pete. How fast were they - 0-60, Top End ? Also can't remember, was it a V8 ?

And who could ever forget James Coburn in Waterhole Three ? Magnificent. An absolute must see movie !