Having just read through the whole of this a few things spring to mind.
The vast majority of contributors to this forum model in one of the commercial scale - yeah me too. 0, 00 and N are narrow gauge and in most cases run on track with the wrong rail section and sleeper spacing. H0 puts the gauge right(ish) but accepts the rest. In most cases the wheels are just plain wrong and loco frames and brake gear in the wrong place to match their prototype relation to the body above whether or not it's the right shade of green. when we've stopped complaining whether the colour's right or not we happily run the stuff through curves and points that are nowhere near scale radii into platforms that are generally way to short and/ or narrow - yeah I'm guilty of that too. There are modellers who try to get it right by going to 2mmFS, S4 or S7 but the compromises dictated by available space often apply to them as well and most modellers happily accept that they will have to use electric motors instead of hot fog - that'd me as well.
At the end of the day most of us would I believe accept that we are big boys (and girls) playing with toy trains. They might be as close to scale as our respective skills allow but instead of debating 'double standards' maybe we should just accept the hobby for what it is - an enjoyable, constructive and highly satisfying pass time. If the colour of a rtr loco is wrong and it's a problem re-spray it - it's not hard and you can get most colours in rattle cans. Changing the lining isn't difficult either. It's called modelling and at least it creates variety.
There are modelers spending countless hours getting every rivet on a pre-grouping scratch built model in the right place and there are modellers quite happy with, for example Hornby Dublo. Good luck to them all. The important thing is to enjoy what you've got. If you can or have the desire to improve on what's been offered go for it and enjoy what you're doing.