Malcolm 0-6-0

I have found over the years that there is nothing wrong with political discussion, but it is the political opinions of some that really bother me .........

Yes I agree, the term passenger railway interface facilitator is much more correct. And also adds the extra frisson of incomprehensibility to announcements heard on the passenger operating staff information distributing system .......

So, as an antipodean, can I expect to see you here in a couple of weeks.......?

Pedant! as a person of British descent I prefer not to be conversant in French erhumm!! history. And if you don't like those facts I have another set completely interchangeable with them .....

In the interests of French maidenhood I would like to point out that she has averted her eyes at the display of moribund wedding tackle by the chap who lost his culottes in the heat of the moment. The chap in the front, who is having a lie down, had the decency not to lose his. Otherwise why isn't it that our modern armed mobs aren't led by half naked sheilas? Is this yet another unforeseen result of the Metoo movement - "I swear I was out in front of this mob of angry Parisians, when someone said it would be so much more uplifting in a French way if I exposed my upper body, well I did, and next minute this yobbo ripped off his trousers in front of me. Fortunately a Royalist musket ball taught him to keep it zipped and we felled the Bastille". Vive la exposé

Are you talking about the topless sheila waving the flag?

Sounds of Silence, Simon & Garfunkel ..... "Hello darkness my old friend I've come to talk with you again ..."

In the September 1938 issue of the Fortean Times I discovered the following article. "Strange and unexplained phenomena have been reported by our correspondent in Little Muddle, a bucolic village in the west of this sceptered isle. The first was the sudden appearance of a red cow dancing on a shed roof. A passing GWR porter remarked to our correspondent "Aaaaarrghh ...... old Bessie been at zider agen I see", but was this the answer? Then in a strange feat of unexplained levitation a dozen fish boxes were deposited in the Little Muddle harbour. Members of the Parish Council said it was some as yet officially unidentified town youths who did it. However one member who will remain nameless was heard to say "we know you were involved Billy Perkins and we've told your mam". However a fisherman who spends a lot of time sitting on the harbour steps thinking (mostly about fish) said "Noahhh it were t'hand of God - I zaw it appear out of the clouds and pick them up. I nearly gave birth to mackerels ...". Following that in another reported mysterious levitation, an idling traction engine mysteriously disappeared from under a railway viaduct and has vanished. This time another witness who wishes to remain unidentified, but was dressed in grey, said "Aaaargghhhh!!!! I zaw this bleeding big hand come out from skoy and pick it oop and carry it away I tell ye!!!!!". He then steadied his obviously shaken nerves with a good pull from the bottle he was holding. And then several witnesses have come forward to say that they saw the special train to Little Muddle appear and disappear as it made its very very slow way to Little Muddle last week. Finally a strange large rectangular object with a single eye and flashing lights has been seen at various places around Little Muddle and in the sky. What is the answer to these unanswered questions readers. The people of Little Muddle who normally take strange events in their stride are very nervous. Frankly we at the Fortean Times don't know but we think that Mr H. G. Wells might be correct when he wrote “No one would have believed .... that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's ..." I will issue a report to the committee about this discovery.

Or conversely rather strange passengers, say no more .............

Naah it's them drunken teenagers what threw the fish boxes in the harbour - they've taken it for a joy ride. Good thing it's only a traction engine, PC Plod (now on temporary reinstatement pending his hearing before the Chief Constable) will be able to catch them, and it, on foot.

You expect me to believe that the reason you are not carrying your season ticket is that the dog ate it ...........

As a matter of interest just what is the pattern of the Plaid Cymru plaid .........

Aaah yes I can see the hastily daubed signs now Kevin $15.00 $10.00 $5.00 FREE

The Chief Constable was forced to suspend Police Constable Plod pending the results of an enquiry into due to his apparent failure to notice that unruly bands of teenagers were throwing fish crates into the harbour. The Chairman of the Parish Council was reported as saying "This never happened in my day - we just got legless on cider". Whether he was referring to the teenagers or PC Plod is unclear. In other news the Chairperson of the LMCOKM said "On top of the very public scandal of the lobster pot depiction, this rampant hooliganism involving teenagers, fish crates and apparent inaction by the police is just another example of the collapse of modern values and the Little Muddle way of life!!!!". The Chairperson was so moved that they fell in a faint and had to be carried to the Little Muddle Arms to receive a reviving brandy. It must be noted that local feelings are running high in Little Muddle and we cannot say where it all will end .....

My goodness this is more serious than LMCOKM originally thought. I've moved a motion that a separate sub-committee of LMCOKM be created to investigate and report back to the Secretary in reference to the appearance of floating fish crates. This sub-committee will operate under the working name of the LMFFCISC (Little Muddle Floating Fish Crates Investigation Sub-Committee) and all its written submissions will be so marked. These are to be marked Confidential to ensure that no word is leaked to the railway modelling press until a properly prepared media release is drafted and approved. It saddens me to have to submit to my fellow committee members this is the sort of thing that can easily, and tragically, happen when people who build model railways are left to their own devices to follow their own rules. I humbly submit that it would never happen in a properly regulated world where creativity is subjected to necessary guidance by individuals selected for their near perfect understanding and humility. We, as a group, are not created to condemn but to temper correction with wisdom and compassion. Is Kevin still waiting outside, we need to get to the bottom of this immediately ...........

Oh dear who elected the Vicar of Little Muddle to the committee?

Oh dear this seems to have sparked the need for a meeting of the Little Muddle Committee for the Overseeing of Kevin's Modelling or LMCOKM (sorry we tried for a snappy acronym but nothing was agreed upon). The Chairman (aaahum... Chairperson) requests that Kevin wait in the corridor while we discuss this matter......... We will try to be brief and we assure Kevin that we will have a preliminary draft of our discussions in the fullness of time, so if he can wait patiently until then ......... Would someone please close the door.

And I suppose that isn't a real pic of you in your avatar ..........

Nice angle but those lobster pots just don't look real. The baulks under the crane jib do, as do the drums and the little dinghy but the lobster traps look like a concrete sculptor for a garden. Perhaps the close up is too close?

All this talk of the plague and general depression leads me to post a pic of my gardener. He's the sort of all purpose tradesman that can make a living in these troubled times.

That tractor's number plate is a little deceptive - that isn't dew that's bucketing down

There are some of us who are more and more convinced that the whole concept of Trump is a conspiracy theory.

I'm ambivalent on the subject however better Trump than the VP. If ever the idea of a creationist being eaten by a dinosaur was apt it would be if Pence caught the plague ...... But as the Greeks told us first comes Hubris then comes Nemesis.

Poor thing is probably not used to being so rushed - it's but a flicker of its former self ...........

Some might say that that is an example validating George Santayana's famous quote "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."