Malcolm 0-6-0

That's really moving!!! The vibrations have knocked the plaster off the walls of that house ..........

Well at least a free pick up service staffed by two blokes and a wheelbarrow.

It's a metaphor for the state of mine at the moment.

At the height of our ongoing lockdown and plague the local cemetery chose to place a sign in plain view saying "New burial plots available" .....

Oh I dunno most undertakers find that people are just dying to see them .......

Careful you don't want to set the bar to high ............

No that's just a promo for the Little Muddle Light Orchestra to perform Darius Milhaud's Le Bœuf sur le toit

Departure? You're a bit premature aren't you, it's only been there for 2 days. Half the intending passengers haven't got to the station yet - they have their expectations that the usual sedate way in which things are done in Little Muddle will continue. They have standards to maintain ......

Being the GWR that could be George I ..............

Chap in tweeds "I say Station Master I know you people in the west have a reputation for slow bucolic ways but 5 days I've standing here waiting for that train!!!" Station Master "What, only 5 days sir, you're from off are you? If you are going to be a regular visitor here you must learn to relax a little, we don't rush things here" Porter "Aaaarrrhhhh"

What's that strange chap in the long coat doing lurking in the bushes near the gate?

I suspect, could be wrong, that the photo is evidence that Swindon was not too happy with the normal method of rail delivery of new locomotives to Little Muddle. I can't reveal my sources (COVID-19 restrictions apply) but that pic was handed to me by a man wearing a face mask ................

Hang on, what's that on the deck?

I don't know, and I can't be really certain but naming a fighting ship HMS Prisoner of War seems to have just a frisson of negativity ...............

Commander in Chief Portsmouth Admiral Sir Eustace Bell-Bottom Trouser "Lieutenant Queasy !!!!!! Where are you, Come here !!!!!!" Lieutenant Queasy: "Reporting sir!!!!!!!" Commander in Chief Portsmouth Admiral Sir Eustace Bell-Bottom Trouser: "Queasy what's this nonsense !!!!! I've just had a text from someone called Kevin who claims to live in Little Muddle, asking me to have the Prince of Wales moved to a better spot so he can take a more artistically composed photo" Lieutenant Queasy: "Sir?" Commander in Chief Portsmouth Admiral Sir Eustace Bell-Bottom Trouser: "Well what, dammit man, are you going to do about it !!!!!!!" Lieutenant Queasy: "Signal Prince of Wales to launch an immediate airstrike on him?" Commander in Chief Portsmouth Admiral Sir Eustace Bell-Bottom Trouser: "Exactly my wishes Queasy; you'll make captain very quickly if you keep that attitude !!!" And the rest is written in the annals of the Royal Navy ...........

Looking back to the side elevation drawing is it possible that the wheel diameter is actually too small (I know you said that they were approximately right) or that the wheels should actually be fitted on longer W irons?

Right now there's a rather heated discussion going on in the signal box - Signalman: "I distinctly told you to not to send it to Little Muddle, it's the up express!!!!" Assistant Signalman: "No you didn't" Signalman: "Yes I did!!!" Assistant Signalman: "No you didn't" Signalman: "Yes I bloody did!!!!" Assistant Signalman: "No you didn't" Signalman: "This isn't an audition for the station Christmas pantomime!!!" Assistant Signalman: "Are we going to have a station Christmas pantomime?" Carries on ad infinitum ..........

I prefer the second, it (how may I put this) lacks the extreme curvature of the Earth depicted in the first ............

And another funny one. The juxtaposition of the bald headed chap and the steam dome can't be accidental.

No one ever mentions the eighth dwarf - Smelly. Apparently he just got up everyone's nose ................

I'm led to believe that you have misquoted the directive, it actually reads - "each person must bring the following each day: 1 x carton of full-strength beer (5 per cent alcohol or less) - 24 cans x 375mls or less, or 1 x carton of light / mid strength beer (3.5 per cent alcohol or less) - 30 cans x 375mls or less, or 1 x carton of pre-mixed spirits (6 per cent alcohol or less) - 24 cans x 375mls, or 1 x carton of cider (5 per cent alcohol or less) - 24 cans x 375mls, or 1 x cask of sealed wine (14.5 per cent alcohol or less) totalling 4 litres or less, or 2 x 375ml plastic bottles of spirits (38 per cent alcohol or less) - must be the original manufacturer's product with seal unopened, or 1 x 750ml bottle of spirits (plastic only) Hic!!!!!" This is Australia you know .........

Imagine walking up that in wet weather ........

Is it spread by bottom to shoulder contact - my goodness that's going to add a complication to mask wearing ..............

"Potatoes? No mate go with quinoa it's the coming crop oi'l tell ye ........."

That's looking marvellous - good work.