Porcy Mane

...where they'll be hung out to fry.

...well DHL certainly have dropped a clanger here, they're in the soup good and proper, but with help from above, I'm sure they can iron things out...

if you're under 40 you may have bother picking the bones out of that one...

The words and music of Flanders and Swann. Used to play their songs on LPs when visiting my uncle.

Saw them live "Drop of a Hat",and "another Hat". Such good shows, full of gentle humour, with exquisite timing, topped off with the clever lyrics. (does my admiration show?)

and with that all said, and to much rum punch drunk, we report on the site of a fleet of destroyers lit up with fair lights, until they disapear because are hats have covered are eyes

For Cows?

......rushes off to disable adblocker..

What is Tinder ??

Understood, P

From grass cutting to washing the car nekked in 13 steps.

That RMweb for ya.

How long before Godwin's theory is enacted?

Did once swim in an open air Lido during a thunderstorm.

Charlie Drake-'Please Mr Custer'

What am I doing here?

Please Mr.Custer, I don’t wanna go

Eh, er, Mr.Custer? Please don’t make me go

Hello my darlings

Melton Mowbray porkist pies - made on an industrial estate near you.

Just across a couple of fields from me achtooally. Mattesons Processed Fuds. Luverly. Glad when they shut the place but sad to see all the jobs go.

She has a nice pair Top Bo***cks

That's a nice pear

Titter Ye Not.

I seem to remember Katy.  

I see the unboxing was of the Australian variant?

Sort of. Katy did make a break for the Southern hemisphere  (through the floorboards!) at the very end.

A new saucepan.

For a new Creamation

I've had far too many work breaks today to give my full attention to RMweb, for which I apologise.

JEZ 4 PREZ!

Everyone should have a Willie.

Classic line from Lady T there, Horse

And the last remaining British player at Wimbledon has been sent home...

Aaahl came from the syem Coonty  Skool kitchens anyways.

In them big metal boxes that didn’t keep it hot, cold or anything in between.

Nowt a marra with prunes. I used to swap me dinner for the prunes.

How BoD. At ower skyull ye'ed get carled a clivvor sh*te.  (Waaden ee Bob). Oor skyull had it's own kitchen and the new skuell  (1972/3)  had n' even posher kitchen. Arl stainless lyke! (Wassen it Bob).  Noo the next edukashun orthority up the way had central kitchens. Did wheels on meals anall. Ar knarr cos a bought one of the central kitchens off the cooncil an converted it into a garage. A still stewed the occashanull prune in there anall....      Lyke.   

"No such thing as a bad landing" according to all my RAF mates.

Nowadays known as a "fail".

Horse, you so have your finger on the pulse.

Don't make adverts like that anymore Porcy! Well, apart from the Specsavers ones.

Great film with Gonks - remember them?

And "Gonks Go Beat"

I've had Le Chameaus for about a decade. They will probably outlast me.

Good job they weren't Michelin flop flips.They're prone to regular strikes. Bolshie French.

Exactly!

I was a Beech-nut man mysef. Anybody got 2d?

In todayspeak, a nonentertainer, my mum luved him, I was already on 6 chords!

J. Hendrix

Blah-Blah Max.

Wah-Wah Jim.

maybe she got a Bum Steer.

Needs some sound effects

Deep base.

'Well I didn't vote for him...!'

...to make room the 'alsorans' shuffle down the bench...

With a cut down chimney?

Plenty of mice in Barking too.

I saw plenty ther thebother week after clearing my mind with a herbal cigarette.....

Nowt like an Amsterdam coffee shop to get a dose of perspective . . . Ferry daily from the Tyne

Marvin

DigitalWatch

MELD. Mars Explorer and Laboratory of Discovery.

Did you get a buzz off 'em?

Just a little vibration.

Should have seen the look I got when I asked for a postal order for 52F models... ;-)

Makes a change...

Beware of helicopters painted black! 🤓

Now that would be Mike Ashley's. He would get a salute too.

No longer seen round these parts.

Do see the odd hawk.

We all moved overseas to escape cold and damp climate..

Re felting the shed roof in 30 deg. heat was definitely one of the more barking things I've done of late! Pretty vindicated this morning though!

Rain, Rain, Stay away;

drop your load some other day;

Sun Sun do your worst,

make mens balds pates like bierwurst.

I k now it's a "bowler hat"....

I doff my cap to you and take off my hat for Bernie.

Well I must be getting along, lots to do. Perks must be about it.

What's he on about?

When this old world starts getting me down

And people are just too much for me to face

I climb way up to the top of the stars

And all my cares just drift right into space

On the roof it's peaceful as can be

And there the world below can't bother me

Let me tell you now

'Don't jump off the roof, Dad

You'll make a hole in the yard

Mother's just planted petunias

The weeding and seeding was hard

If you must end it all, Dad

Won't you please give us a break

Just take a walk down the park, Dad

And there you can jump in the lake.'

Did he buy his council flat under right-to-buy scheme?

Perhaps the less said about his trousers the better.

trousers? cor blimey, what you lot on about?