Happy Hippo

The Army always put the young, fit ones out on show. They can look the part, all spick and span with shiny buttons and boots. The old soaks are all sitting in the warm, having a cup of tea. Regards Richard

Anyone who gets the Railway Modeller by subscription, will have seen the book of trackplans with the Dec edition. This includes a track plan (in N Gauge) called 'Ashcombe'. Will this now start a trend in future books of naming layouts after ER posters? Regards Richard

Please don't tell us she runs a snail and frog farm Regards Richard

Having seen the first picture of his lordship, I now know where Mike got the idea of his beard from! Regards Richard

Mick, I've always been fascinated by snakes used to go out of my way to see them in their natural habitat. I've seen Timber Rattlesnakes on the Canadian plains, Black Mamba and Puff Adders in in Kenya, and even Adders in the UK Snake spotting was good fun, and although I appreciated that snakes were definitely wild and unpredicatable, I assumed that if you left them alone they would leave you alone. That was until few of us went out for an early morning run in Belize. We were running down the centre of quite a wide track, when suddenly there was a blur from the brush a few yards ahead of me and the lad there let out a yell and collapsed, holding his leg. We thought he'd pulled a muscle, until we saw the puncture wounds. Apart from the blur, nobody actually saw the snake. We ran down the centre of the track to avoid just this happening, the local vipers usually having a short strike range, and the noise we made usually frightened them off long before we arrived. Not this time we later worked out that judging by the distance it had to strike he must have been bitten by a Bushmaster a rather large and decidedly bad tempered snake who was one of the kings of sudden ambush. We managed to put on a restrictive bandage to slow the blood flow down and made a stretcher from our rifles and shirts. Whilst this was going on, our fastest runner was despatched back to camp to warn them what had happened. The victim did survive, but despite being pumped full of anti vemon and being casevaced to Miami asap, he lost his right leg from just below the groin due to the necrosis caused by the effects of the venom. After that, being brave rough and tough soliders, we avoided that area like the plague, and nobody ever went out on their own after that. Men who learn to run away, live to run another day. I still like snakes tho' Regards Richard

Ian, i think the horses had a lucky escape; if you'll pardon the pun. The French, in my twisted mind, are still beret wearing, onion selling, gaulois smoking, wine swilling horse eaters. And the bounders who purported to be steam loco footplate crew were always seen with their caps on backwards and wearing goggles........and that was before they left zi house! Can I insult anyone else this morning. Regards Richard

The (almost)sad tale of Nat Cat; Many years ago I had just been appointed adjutant to a battalion 'somewhere in the UK'.. i'd just got back from a tour in Germany and was the proud owner of my first Staffie. Alpha was a was black and tan bitch and was very very gentle and calm. She was the classic 'nanny' dog and was very protective towards our two young children, so much so that she would muscle her way in between pram and admirer and let them know that that was close enough. She never barked at anyone, and she was not the least bit interested in Nat. Nat was a big white Tomcat, who lived on the opposite side of our cul de sac. There is no doubt that he thought he was king of the street, and kept the two Old English sheep dogs he resided with firmly in their place. When Nat walked down the road, even cars moved out of his way! My father in law had decided to buy Alpha's litter sister, Meg. Now Meg was much stockier was far more inquisitive, and as we were to find out, not partial to cats, but was well trained and did what she was told.: Until the day she came to stay with us! I was out in the front Garden talking to the RSM about his son going to university. Alpha and Meg sunning themselves on the lawn. Then the RSM said, "Look out boss, here comes that effing cat!" At the word Cat, Meg took off across the lawn straight at Nat Cat, followed by Alpha , who thought it was some new form of game. Nat, took very little notice as he strolled down the middle of the road, obviously unconcerned: After all he must have thought it was only the little Staffie from over the road that won't say boo to a goose. Well, I did try to call them back, but the range closed to about 5 yards before Nat Cat realised that the beast from hell, closing in on him like an Excocet on finals, was not one of the locals. At this point, the whole scene changed to a Tom and Jerry cameo. Nat jumped over Meg and dived under the nearest parked car. Meg being a little on the bulky side was trying to squeeze unsuccessfully under the car to get at Nat, who lay under the car hissing and clawing in a most ungentlemanly manner. The impasse was broken a few seconds later by the arrival of Alpha, who being smaller went at the car full pelt and just body surfed underneath it and forced Nat back out into the street. From here he managed to make his way up a very tall tree where he hissed and yowled at his two tormentors who by now were at the base of the tree, leaping up into the air and barking and snapping like Spike from the cartoon, even down to the teeth that seemed to jump out of their jaws. The neighbours were coming out to find out what the noise was about: The RSM was doubled up with laughter and I was running down the road in a pair of carpet slippers trying to separate the warring factions. However, both dogs did go home when they were told to, especially when a biscuit tin was rattled. and Nat was left to descend in his own time. The humiliation of it, being chased off his street! However, I can laugh at it because only Nat Cat's feline pride was hurt, but he never came near our house again, just to be on the safe side. Regards Richard

A PhD researcher was looking into the sex life of shepherds. To cut a very long story short, she travelled the world found that there was a universal technique involved: Left rear leg into left wellie right rear leg into right wellie..............and thank ewe very much! However, on reaching Wales she found an anomaly in that the technique was: Right rear leg into left wellie; left rear leg into right wellie...............and thank ewe very much! This was an exciting find so she told the Welsh shepherd what all the others did, and could he explain the difference He was stunned and replied: Duw! No kissing? R

Debs, To get a Staffie out of bed and into the garden, you only need to utter one word.................................................Cat! And then stand clear. This works even when it is raining (and as we know, if a Staffie is hit by a single raindrop, it'll melt!) For those ERs concerned over my ramblings about an excursion into Cambrian Coast territory, I've managed to resist.................. By transposing the plan to a S Wales valleys location, which finally justifies my decision to by a book about modelling the coal industry. The other alternative was to go to SW Wales and do an oil terminal type arrangement, but calling it Milfford(sic) might get me funny looks from some ERs. The weather is fine this morning, which bodes well for my trip to the doctors, to get my regular 'eyelash trim'. Yes, I know it sounds odd, but I have to take eye drops and the side effect is it makes my eye lashes grow long, thick and curly. My close friends call me Clarabelle! Regards Richard

We've had similar with some friends from the USA who struggled with Betws Y Coed First it was Betsy Co-Ed (The all American cheerleader no doubt!) But now it has morphed into Betsy's Cowshed. There is a rumour going around that the NW Area group of the 16mm Assn now refer to it as such! As for Penisarwein...................................Well I'll just stick with Three Cocks Junction! Regards Richard

That's a brilliant idea. I nearly had a disaster with the letter D in the wrong place. I ended up writing about a small Welsh town called LLandildo Whoops! Regards Richard Edited for spellllin'

I've just called by again to prevent myself repeatedly banging my head against the nearest hard vertical surface. We decided to call off today's planned workfest outside, regardless of the fact that the weather isbeing kind to us at the moment. Nyda was doing some Girlguiding uk stuff and I sloped off to the Wolverhampton Railway Exhibition. The first person I bumped into, before I'd even got through the doors was 'Dukedog' and that was closely followed by some fellow members of TRMG (They in the best Shropshire tradition were drinking tea and filliing their faces!) However seeing a book on Layout design with an article on Pwllheli, got me thinking. With a bit of tweaking it could be just what I need for my 152/3/58 fleet. Fortunately, the signalling of such a track plan was covered by 'RE6/6', 'The Stationmaster' and others, in another thread on RM Web. But as usual, I'm now running off at full pelt, with a head full of new ideas on the newest, bestest layout in all of eternity, which are conflicting with what I thought were concrete plans. Heeeelp! Regards Richard

I hope we are talking photos here and not what went into trap 2! Regards Richard

Elsa the Staffie fed and watered. TIB delivered. Looks like it is going to be a nice day Completion of the track lifting and recovery of the old garden line beckons Regards Richard

So very sad ID, But when we see the cruelty inflicted on some animals and the neglect they suffer from, Jordi was a very, very lucky dog to have such care and kindness throughout his life. Regards Richard

Are we talking 4mm scale 14xx chimney? What is he going to use for that task.....starched button thread? Regards Richard

Prince Charming is sitting at his desk penning a letter.(He was looking earnest: funny that, as his name was Charley) Suddenly, Countess Ashcombe enters stage left wearing a long black cloak and a bloody grin. (She was looking Fangtastic!) SHE'S BEHIND YOU! screamed the children in the audience........................... Well, it'll make a change from playing in 'Waiting for Godot'. Good morning to all Regards Richard

A potential for being a Frock star then? I share a birthday with Anna Kournikova and Tom Jones. My tennis is on par with my singing: Suitable only for the bath! Regards Richard

Before you fire it up again, what have you done about the smoke unit!!!! Don't forget and go for a repeat experience Regards Richard

Great news Ashers, but please slow down a little! Speed will not kill you, it is usually the massive and sudden deceleration It is better to arrive at your destination 40 minutes late, than to be waiting for the Ferryman at the River Styx 40 years early! Regards Richard

Alternatively it might have been my mother in law ironing her thick woolly stockings! Duw! She lives in Llandudno, so is currently up wind of you! Regards Richard

Today is looking good! Leaves are falling, there is a breeze and the sun is out. This is the autumnal scenario I like, apart from the leaves which will need to be swept up on a regular basis between now and next August. I can feel the urge for a bonfire coming on. Regards Richard

And she's not even from Yorkshire! Regards Richard

Ahat a surprise! As we left Neath on the long climb up to Hirwain, out came the sun and stayed with us all the way home. Having arrived and got sorted out, the sun has now dodged behind a rather large bank of grey cloud. Still the good weather was nice whilst it lasted. Regards Richard

Good Morning to all ER frequenters. It is a damp and overcast morning in a not sunny Margam, and not much in the way of breeze, which is unusual on the coast. We will return to Telford later this morning, no doubt admiring the wet and overcast all the way from W Glam to Shropshire. Looking forward to a busy and productive week on maintenance tasks in both the house and garden, but I might review this sentiment on Friday! Bore Da! Regards Richard