shortliner

Must admit that my initial reactions were "Woweee, that'll be a little piggy to switch!" and "Jeezus - there are a lot of switches and it looks awfully crowded!" - However for a switching district in an inner city area, a bit more thought and following the trackplan around, says that it is going to provide a lot of fun building and operating it. Are you intending to scratch the buildings - it's going to be an expensive kit-build job?

They're only dead because they slough them off! - Departing stage left.......

Great Female Comebacks 1. Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." 2. Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." 3. Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." 4. Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?" Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?" 5. Man: "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." 6. Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too." 7. Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator." 8. Man: "What sign were you born under?" Woman: "No Parking." 9. Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not Enter" 10 Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized !" 11. Man: "Hey, come on, admit it. We're both here at this bar for the same reason" Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!" 12. Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?" 13. Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone." 14. Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts." 15. Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave." 16. Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:" Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing." 17. Man: "Hey Cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?" Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.." 18. Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today." 19. Man: "I'd go through anything for you." Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account." 20. Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you." Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

It is also the name of a Saint - I went to his school in Salisbury for a while long, long ago I have no idea why he was sanctified but the motto was " Mens sana in corpore sano". Edit - I felt I should look it up Bishop of Rieti, in central Italy. He was a friend of Pope St. Gregory I the Great who was at Probus' deathbed, and reported that Probus beheld a vision of Sts. Eleutherius and Juvenal just before his passing. ( You obviously didn't need to do much for sanctification in those days!

.......... and this has to be a CLASSIC Essex Girl joke! Five blokes in an Audi Quattro arrived at the ferry checkpoint in Harwich, Essex. Tracey, in her brand new uniform, and her blonde hair shining in the light, stops them and tells them: "I can't let you on the ferry. It is illegal to have 5 people in a Quattro. Quattro means four.. One of you will have to get out and stay behind." "Quattro is just the name of the car," the driver replies disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons." "You cannot pull that one on me. This is Tracey you're talking to here," she replies with a smile. "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law. So I can't let you onto the ferry. It's more than my job's worth to let you all on." The driver is now very cross and replies angrily, "I've had enough of you. Call your supervisor over. I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!" "Sorry," responds Tracey, "but Sharon is busy with those two blokes in the Fiat Uno."

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770 - 1827." Then he realizes that the music is Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and it is being played backwards! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backwards. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backwards. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread, and a crowd has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backwards. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the group asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "I would have thought it was obvious," the caretaker says: "He's decomposing."

I have had to punch agree - but need to add that "if I was going to pick a "Reacher" book to film, it wouldn't have been that one!"

I have been known (in the days before I retired from my earlier job) to say some very rude words about those "Little Red Flockers" - stories not to be repeated on here

I had my roof cleaned and the guys doing it suggested fitting a right angle folded copper strip down the ridges - it cost a relatively small amount and I have not had ANY moss on the roof since it was done about 6 years ago. It is one of those things that sounds too simple - but it works. It seems a weak solution of copper salts is formed in conjunction with rainwater and kills the moss.

Phil - Preiser Art.Nr 16328 Sitzend Personen, 1:87(seated persons0 - 120 unpainted figures.[click on pic to enlarge] There are 48 ready painted on http://www.ebay.deat the moment or you could try Gaugemaster

I hate to say it, but if you use the bottom ones they look like they have been on the "pop"! - If you want some unpainted sitting civilians - PM me with an email and a snail addy

This needs sound too - I dislike the Dolmio ads - but this one is G-R-E-A-T ! Brilliant https://www.youtube.com/embed/HUgv5MDF0cQ

This Toyota commercial is not out in the UK yet. Sound ON ! http://adsoftheworld.com/media/online/toyota_aygo_crazy

Jock - feel free to borrow anything from my posts - they have frequently come to me from friends in far off places and not been seen here before - and I do like to spread a little boredomhappiness as I go through life

You are definitely going faster than me - mine is still in the box

THIS IS GREAT! Read all the way to the end................. This took a lot of work to put together! 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8 A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are animal organs.. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

A POEM THAT SOME CAN RELATE TO I remember the cheese of my childhood, And the bread that we cut with a knife, When the children helped with the housework, And the men went to work not the wife. The cheese never needed a fridge, And the bread was so crusty and hot The children were seldom unhappy And the wife was content with her lot. I remember the milk from the bottle, With the yummy cream on the top, Our dinner came hot from the oven, And not from the fridge; in the shop. The kids were a lot more contented, They didn't need money for kicks, Just a game with their mates in the road, And sometimes the Saturday flicks. I remember the shop on the corner, Where a pen'orth of sweets was sold Do you think I'm a bit too nostalgic? Or is it...I'm just getting old? I remember the 'loo' was the lav And the bogey man came in the night, It wasn't the least bit funny Going "out back" with no light. The interesting items we perused From the newspapers cut into squares, And hung on a peg in the loo, It took little to keep us amused. The clothes were boiled in the copper With plenty of rich foamy suds But the ironing seemed never ending As Mum pressed everyone's 'duds'. I remember the slap on my backside, And the taste of soap if I swore Anorexia and diets weren't heard of And we hadn't much choice what we wore. Do you think that bruised our ego? Or our initiative was destroyed? We ate what was put on the table And I think life was better enjoyed. ANON the age of remembrance must be 60 plus!!!!!!!!!

'm you kwite shoor as they don't come from Brizzle, moi lover!

Screams of passion. An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion. The Italian said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra virgin Olive oil. Then we made passionate love and I made her scream, non-stop for five minutes." The Frenchman said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with special Aphrodisiac oil from Provence and then we made passionate love. I made her scream for fifteen minutes straight." The Aussie said: That's nothing! Last night I massaged my wife, all over her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the butter, and then made love and I made her scream for two long hours." The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked, "Two full hours? ...... Wow! That's phenomenal. How did you do it, to make her scream for two hours?" The Aussie replied, "Wiped my hands on the curtains, didn't I?."

I thought I might be able to help you out, but the one I have is code 100 ( also marked #6 FWIW) There are 4 on ebay at the moment in code 83, may be worth a phone call to Model Junction - and the Nige in your picture looks very high maintainance! Edit to say - this one isn't too unreasonable eBay item number: 291490697999

I have a catalogue listing the crossings by degree 12.5, 19, 25, 30, 45. 60, 90 in Code 83 and the same degrees in code 100

Would one of the Atlas crossings fit? - they come in various shapes and sizes and degrees

Wait till Wee Squidlet discovers that spoons balanced like that make excellent trebuchets - He'll re-decorate the room in no time, and you'll spend a great deal of time picking the spoon up from the floor!

Just in case anyone's wondering why Greece's Economy is in the Can! Experts mandated by the European Union to investigate the causes that led Greece to the current economic situation relate the following facts: Greece falsified its accounts to enter the euro zone and has distorted the facts until it finally exploded. There was massive retirements at the age of 50 years. At Evangelismos hospital there were 50 drivers for officials' cars, and on average there were 45 gardeners for a small lawn with 4 bushes. Greece has the highest population in the world of people reporting an age of 110 years. The deaths are often not registered and pensions continue to be received. The European Union had found that there are families receiving 4-5 monthly pensions which they are not supposed to get. There were still pensions paid to persons who died in 1953, 60+ years ago. 40,000 girls received monthly life pension of 1,000 euros for the simple fact that they were unmarried daughters of deceased civil servants. This, at a cost to the state coffers of ?550 million euros per year. Now they will receive pensions only up to the age of 18. The pacemakers in Greek hospitals were acquired at a price 400 times higher than in British hospitals. In Greece, many workers have benefited from early retirement, set at 50 years for women and 55 for men who belong to one of the 600 job categories identified as particularly painful among which included; - Hairdressers (because of dyes that may be considered harmful) - The musicians of wind instruments (blowing into a flute is exhausting) - TV presenters (the microphones are supposed to cause damage to health). **** This law was adopted by the Socialist government of 1978. There are thousands of ridiculous "tricks" departments and unnecessary institutions, which many Greeks live off. For example, The Institute for the Protection of Kopais Lake, a dry lake since 1930. In the last decade, Greece has created over 300 new public companies. Tax evasion is massive, over 25% of Greeks do not pay a penny on personal income tax. In addition, the weight of the public sector in the economy is overwhelming. There are about one million officials to 4,000,000 active people. Greek public railways: The average salary of employees exceeds €66.000.- per year. And this includes cleaners and other non-skilled workers. The (almost free) Athens Metro delivers about 90 million tickets a year, while the total cost of this public company exceeds the €500 million needed. The French retirees receive, on average, 51% of the last salary, the Germans 40%, North Americans and 41% Japanese 34%. Meanwhile, Greek pensioners receive 96% of their salary earlier. Greece has four times more teachers than Finland, the best situated country in the last PISA report, while the student performance in Greece is the lowest among many European countries by comparison. AS AN APPARENT SHOW OF GOODWILL TO THE EU, THE GREEK GOVERNMENT ELIMINATED 10, OOO POSTAL OFFICIAL POSITIONS, OF WHICH 8,200 WERE DUMMY IDENTITIES !!