Dick Turpin

Why not 'midlands' lines mole', then you're also covered for when Hornby spring a J6 on us later in the year....

Mean Business - Whitesnake

Ahem, the Leader was cloud cuckoo land side... AND, the Force most definitely was not with it!

The Cure - Metallica \../

Twilight of the Thunder God - Amon Amarth

Perpetual Dissolution - Mörk Gryning

Breaking Away - Avantasia

Harvest - Opeth Must be one of the spookiest songs known to man. Gave me goose bumps!

Brighton Rock - Queen

Yes indeed, and it's always a relief that the money can happily stay in the bank!

Walking in the Shadow of the Blues - Whitesnake

Wheels of Steel - Saxon

Rhythm Of The Heat - Peter Gabriel

Sirius B - Therion Thanks for reminding me iak, How long has it been since I last heard Voyage of the Acolyte? Must check it out soon!

I have always liked jokes that appear to lead you where you think you know they are headed, then somehow spring a surprise whacky ending. Here’s one I remember from about 1985. There was a certain politically incorrect bit somewhere but I have warned the characters to avoid mentioning anything about it. So, hope it has stood the test of time. Good luck. The local press had gathered around manhole cover 439 in the town to witness the honouring of Martin Richards, who had spent the last 50 years in dedicated service to the townspeople by his lifelong service not only in maintaining and servicing the towns sewage system, but through the fact that he had always thoroughly enjoyed his job, but now was about to retire. During his long and distinguished career, he had amassed such a vast specialist knowledge of the operation of this particular system that he had been able to advise on and supervise in its growth, maintenance and development many times over the years. The Mayor gave thanks, the band played many tunes, and local politicians made speeches to the local TV cameras. Many photographs were taken by the press, champagne glasses raised, emptied and refilled, and a good time was had by all. At long last the crowds were beginning to thin, and the local journalist who had been taking notes as well as eating sandwiches and swilling some of the champagne, began to talk to Martin on a more casual level now that the pressure was beginning to end. ‘You must have got really bored stuck down there all day?’ ‘Not a bit of it.’ ‘What with nothing but all that stink and shite all day?’ ‘You’d be surprised how you get used to it, and with the sort of things you start to notice.' ‘Like what?' And while no-one was taking any notice of who was doing what anymore, Martin beckoned the journalist to follow him. ‘Put those on,’ he said, and he indicated that the journalist put on some waders and a hard hat. Once he had done so, Martin beckoned him to follow, and he lifted the man-hole cover,and the two of them descended down the ladder into the whiffy subterranean world that the town had flushed away. At the bottom of the ladder, Martin waited for the journalist to become adjusted to the light before continuing. ‘See that lot,’ began Martin, pointing to the river of effluent flowing past them, ‘that’s the main sewer, everything from the town comes past here.' ‘Oh.’ ‘Oh indeed, but you get to notice a lot of unusual sort of things.' ‘Like?' ‘Like that, look. There, see that turd floating towards us. Wait until it gets close. Yes, now, look, look close and you’ll see tiny flecks of gold on it. That means it belongs to Reuben the goldsmith.' The journalist looked incredulous. ‘That’s amazing’, he said, ‘I’d never have spotted that.' ‘And this next one,' continued Martin. ‘Take a close look and you’ll see quite a lot of vegetation, green bits like from fresh cabbage and stuff. Well that’s because it came from Fred the greengrocer. I tell you it’s amazing what you begin to notice.' ‘And this next one,’ Martin observed, ‘will have be ignored by us, I’m afraid, because of the advent of political correctness, and we’ll have to just not mention it.' ‘political correctness?' asked the journalist. ‘Aye, as you say, political correctness,’ Martin continued, ‘In the original joke, I explain to you what’s distinctive about it, and we discuss it, but now I’d better not because otherwise this post will be deleted and its poster, this Dick Turpin character, banned from the forum no doubt.’ ‘I don’t know what you mean?’ ‘Never mind, it’s gone now, we didn’t describe what’s distinctive about it, or why, so I think we’ve all got away with it.’ ‘OK fine.’ ‘Yes, as you say, so we’d better get on with the joke now.’ ‘I wish you would. Do you want to carry on now?’ Martin cleared his thought. ‘Oh, he said’, and looked at his watch before continuing. ‘You see this one coming now?’ The journalist strained his eyes and peered upstream. ‘You see this one coming now?’ Martin said again. The journalist looked doubtful, but nodded anyway. ‘Well that one,' he said pointing, and leaned right out as though trying to retrieve it, 'belongs to my missus.’ ‘How can you tell?' ‘Because it’s got my sandwiches tied to it!'

face down in

Beyond the Realms of Death - Judas Priest ..this is my life this is my life I'll decide not you!

Sheer Heart Attack - Queen Just to change tempo....

Lovely sunny start to the day here in North Yorkshire, might nip down the archery field, get a target set up, and loose a few arrows at it. Proper traditional Sunday morning stuff you know, and not too muddy after all the sun it got yesterday.

Night of the Demon - Demon Ha ha ha 1980, and something worth remembering. NWOBHM, if you were there then you will remember it well. Good times indeed! 'don't you know its the night of the demon, when spirits run high'

A "Groan" button would be very useful for clicking whenever someone mentions: But the track gauge is 2mm too narrow anyway There's nothing there for me My wallet To name but a few.

Teenagers will get up to anything these days, a mate of mine told me last night that two young lads in Birmingham city centre got caught drinking battery acid. He told me they were arrested and detained overnight, and that the police were planning to charge them in the morning!

a fresh cow-pat

Hi Phil, my name's actually Jim not Dick, no offence taken obviously because I asked for it choosing a forum name like that. Dick Turpin refers to LNER 2579, just one name of A1 and A3 that appeals to me. I've got some highwayman sensibilities about me though and me pistols at the ready for a good hold up, so a good stand and deliver situation might be on the cards sometime, what about you, you fancy takin' a chance on gettin' a fortune or maybe the hangin' tree along with me one dark and stormy night?

The White Queen - Queen Amazing song this, in fact the whole of Queen II is. I know this thread is supposed to be snappy but some of the suggestions are just too damned good to just suggest something trite to just follow on with.