There is no difference on the whole. Some sockets have different versions of wiring like the MTC-21 (C-Sinus motor support versus DC motor) and Next-18 (sound and non sound) so different decoders are made for the same socket - but on the whole the decoders are the same and the more pins you have the more functions you can access, and the bigger the decoder the more current it can provide.
Generally speaking the sockets are intended for different scales depending on size, so you will find that N-gauge will have NEM651 6-pin, PluX-16, or Next-18 sockets depending on whether it is legacy (old design not intended for many functions or sound), following NMRA recommended practice (capable of being fully loaded), or from a bolshy manufacturer. H0 or 00 will generally have NEM652 8-pin/jst 9-pin, PluX-22, or MTC-21 in the same categories. There is some overlap in that small H0 and 00 will sometimes have a socket intended for smaller scales, and a lot of modern small decoders are suitable for larger scales such that many of the PluX family with 12 or 16 pins can be used for larger scales in the 22-pin socket.