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Proceedings of the Castle Aching Parish Council, 1905


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1 hour ago, Compound2632 said:

 

I find a pair of shoes I like, wear them for two or three years, then when they're getting shabby I go back for another, and do you know, they no longer have the same ones!

 

A gentleman only needs two pairs of shoes; tan brogues and black oxfords. They never change. A pair for the country and a pair for Town. 

 

Of course, he can add tan punched oxfords (ideal for Service Dress in the better accoutred regiments, I consider), or jazz it up with an oxblood brogue, or sport a black semi-brogue with his grey flannels, and, of course, add a dress oxford for formal and semi-formal evening attire.

 

I wear topsiders. 

 

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1 minute ago, Edwardian said:

gentleman only needs two pairs of shoes


Agreed.

 

I've degenerated to a tatty old pair of white plimsolls (for when not cycling), and a pair of cycling shoes.

 

Which just shows what semi-retirement plus lockdown does for standards.

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1 minute ago, Nearholmer said:

 

Which just shows what semi-retirement plus lockdown does for standards.

 

I had lock-down standards before there was a lock-down.

 

Having subsisted for so many years to a sort of woebegone Ed Reardon rock-bottom standard, they wasn't really any scope for a further falling-off, leaving me uniquely free of lock-down standards guilt. 

 

I have noted one change to my life, however. Previously I adhered to the maxim 'God gave us Sunday so there would be one day a week an Englishman didn't have to shave'.

 

This has been replaced with 'God gave us Zoom so there would be one day a week an Englishman did have to shave'. 

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3 hours ago, alastairq said:

We had a 'bullying'' issue where I used to work.

 

I, too, worked with the 'accused' bully....

When interviewed, the other side of the table were most miffed when I happily stated that I didn't feel in the least bit bullied, intimidated, frightened or worried by the person concerned.

They seemed to conclude I was perhaps a 'one-off'...to which I complained that I felt discriminated against, for being a 'one-off'....

I completely forget to suggest that the victims/complainants should 'grow a pair,' in all the excitement.....

But then, I was wearing steel toe caps at the time......and was subsequently accused, [out of earshot!] of being 'quite unhelpful' to the complainant's case.

 

I should have lodged a complaint, I suspect....but quite simply, couldn't be  'arrised.....

Beware sir, those of us who may have had a child who was cruelly tormented by bullies while at school just might take exception to you being flippant about bullying. 

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3 hours ago, alastairq said:

We had a 'bullying'' issue where I used to work.

 

I, too, worked with the 'accused' bully....

When interviewed, the other side of the table were most miffed when I happily stated that I didn't feel in the least bit bullied, intimidated, frightened or worried by the person concerned.

They seemed to conclude I was perhaps a 'one-off'...to which I complained that I felt discriminated against, for being a 'one-off'....

I completely forget to suggest that the victims/complainants should 'grow a pair,' in all the excitement.....

But then, I was wearing steel toe caps at the time......and was subsequently accused, [out of earshot!] of being 'quite unhelpful' to the complainant's case.

 

Bully for you

 

3 hours ago, alastairq said:

I should have lodged a complaint, I suspect....but quite simply, couldn't be  'arrised.....

 

''The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil ...''

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12 hours ago, Edwardian said:

This has been replaced with 'God gave us Zoom so there would be one day a week an Englishman did have to shave'. 

 

And the Second Law:

 'God gave us Zoom so that an Englishman did have to get dressed* for a meeting, as well as shaving'

 

Having re-read the above in the cold, grey light of day, I feel that I must modify the sentiment to avoid giving offence to anyone...

 

'A non specific belief system gave us Zoom so there would be one day a week that a person did have to at least partially wear suitable attire for a meeting as well as complete socially acceptable facial preparation'

 

That should cover most eventualities.

 

That reminds me, I need to shave...

 

* Or at least put a collar and tie on and comb his hair. For Englishmen, this still stands, the poor repressed things...

Edited by Hroth
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13 hours ago, Edwardian said:

 

I had lock-down standards before there was a lock-down.

 

Having subsisted for so many years to a sort of woebegone Ed Reardon rock-bottom standard, they wasn't really any scope for a further falling-off, leaving me uniquely free of lock-down standards guilt. 

 

I have noted one change to my life, however. Previously I adhered to the maxim 'God gave us Sunday so there would be one day a week an Englishman didn't have to shave'.

 

This has been replaced with 'God gave us Zoom so there would be one day a week an Englishman did have to shave'. 

 

Well, I have to shave on Sundays, or at least I did before I grew a beard.

 

A tip for Zoom meetings: Ricard is indistinguishable from cloudy lemonade.

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Zoom for some is that news caster thing whereby one only need to be smart from the waist up. 

 

In my youth I found that winter driving in an old roadster with a fantastic blower that only reached one's nether parts suggested that the ideal attire was cap, scarf and fleece-lined flying jacket to the top half with shorts below! 

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1 hour ago, Edwardian said:

Zoom for some is that news caster thing whereby one only need to be smart from the waist up. 

 

In my youth I found that winter driving in an old roadster with a fantastic blower that only reached one's nether parts suggested that the ideal attire was cap, scarf and fleece-lined flying jacket to the top half with shorts below! 

 

Which is fine until said old roadster breaks down which, from memory, they do quite regularly.

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2 minutes ago, wagonman said:

 

Which is fine until said old roadster breaks down which, from memory, they do quite regularly.

 

Remember once cutting off an excess length of bailer twine from a farm gate to tie on one of my Spitfire's twin SU carbs that had just fallen off. Got me home.

 

And flattened-out beer cans make good exhaust pipe patches at need. 

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13 hours ago, Edwardian said:

Bully for you

 

 Aside from being quite comfortable with telling anyone to 'eff off', should the deemed need have arisen [still comfortable, even today!], If ever I felt 'offended' by the words or actions of another, I had one very simple solution.

I would immediately 'remove' myself from the arena.

[This being a pretty standard management policy anyway....removing one or other parties from the scene to take the steam out of the event?]

 

A quick trip to the office of  'those who organise', to inform them they had now got to find someone to cover for me, as I was off home/off to get a cuppa/ etc...and the 'reasons' why [I'm not carrying on whilst that wee shyte is still around', or words to that effect...]....!

 

The advantage of being an auld fahrt, and there being a continuous [unbelievable] , appropriately qualified staff shortage.

The objective was simply, to create mayhem I suppose...which it usually did.

 

But mainly, as i got older, I did not see why I should suffer the stress of being wound-up by some other [insignificant?] individual.  If I was offended, angry, annoyed, even...then as far as I was concerned, they could find a replacement for me!

 

I could always play the 'stress' card...one used frequently by more sensitive workers , where I worked...although never citing myself as the reason...

But, I never ever needed to.....

 

ALways aware of the dictum that 'nobody is indispensable'....it surprised me how often one found the opposite to be true.  

Never needed to resort to procedures at all.....

 

The Civil Service  suffering from employing, 'a bunch of old lorry drivers', as one MoD PUS once commented, during an official dispute at my work location.

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image.png.d5c7f11c976238106a9e8d02712eb2c9.png

 

On the topic of conk-outs, whilst instructing on one of the above vehicles one day, progress more or less ceased. embarrassing for the young, female driver/student, as we had just overtaken a horse and caravan.....which promptly passed us a  few minutes later [possibly the only thing they had ever overtaken?].  

HAving called for Recovery, as with all 'Recovery' there was a wait, as I wasn't the first 'Recovery' in the queue!  Recovery being , at that time, conducted by our own [civilian- crewed] REME Reccymechs.  Also they had to travel quite a long way to get the short distance to me, in order to arrive ''facing the correct way''....

I was asked if there was any chance I could 'get it going again?' As it would 'be helpful'.....

I rooted around under the cab....discovered that a part of the throttle linkage had snapped. The young lady soldier happened to have one of those multitools, so I snipped a bit of redundant fencing wire from the roadside.....discovering it to be barbed in the process...and rigged up a jury-repair, which gave us some throttle....Policy dictated I requested personnel transport to return the soldier to the camp.....a Land Rover arrived but she sent it away, wanting to see how we got on with this 'repair' from nowhere....Once recovery arrived,  we drove back in convoy [saved all the messing about putting the above on a suspended tow]....calling in at a wayside caff for sustenance [it was getting past lunchtime by then]......The old thing was back in use toot sweet, as the Workshop wallahs pulled the corresponding item off  one they had got in 'deep overhaul'....A problem the military had, with having indispensable, but 30 year old, wagons to work with.  Getting 'spares'.....

 

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35 minutes ago, Edwardian said:

 

Remember once cutting off an excess length of bailer twine from a farm gate to tie on one of my Spitfire's twin SU carbs that had just fallen off. Got me home.

 

And flattened-out beer cans make good exhaust pipe patches at need. 

 

Another fun fault is being stuck in the middle of nowhere for hours with an engine fault, trying everything that could be thought of to make the [email protected]@er start, then finally finding that the LT wire has come adrift of the coil...

 

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As a student back in the late '60's I was driving my mother's Austin1300 back from a friend's house late one evening. Coming off the slip road from the M8 I stopped at the junction and the engine cut out. I tried everything to get it going. Checked the plug leads etc. to no avail. A car stopped behind me and the driver asked what the problem was . He pulled the piston out of the SU Carb with a loud 'slurp', screwed it back in again and it started no bother. Apparently SU carbs were notorious for sticky pistons. Happened to me a few times after that, but I knew what to do! 

 

Jim 

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Rusty barbed wire from the roadside, you can’t beat it. We were out in the west of Ireland, in a rented Ford Consul from Dublin, which had seen fair wear and tear, and on a rundown country road one of the rear leaf springs broke. We jacked it up, so that the leaf dropped back into position, and bound it in place with aforementioned wire, and into the next garage (in Belmullet, scene of a good fictional model layout) there we suffered the fate of being marooned in the local pub, bar at the rear, village shop at the front, plus B&B, until the evening bus from Sligo brought new spring, and we left next day.

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1 hour ago, Northroader said:

until the evening bus from Sligo brought new spring

 

Now that is a case where the bus is providing a real replacement for the passenger train service. I dread to think what other guard's van items might have been on the bus - a crate of piglets, maybe?

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Got involved with a group of would-be car racing friends, each intent on constructing his own car for use at club meetings,  usually at Silverstone.  One such vehicle, welded tubular chassis, working bits from a Ford Eight,  (Engine heavily "breathed-on") allegedly street legal, registered and taxed (before MOT regulations!) was entered in a couple of races one Saturday.  It was driven from Wolverhampton to the track, passed scrutineering, and did one practice lap and came to a halt with a worn-out big-end bearing.  A spare magically appeared,  " always carry one" , the engine lifted out, stripped and the replacement fitted (hand scraped to size!) and rebuilt in time to drive it home  without further contact with Silverstone's tarmac.  Crazy times!  

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Posted (edited)

I spent time out in western Queensland on an oil exploration crew which was made up of mainly a   bunch of crims hiding from the law,  swearing enthusiasts  and me.

 

Driving around in the red dust one day, we came across a line of old eroded seismic shotholes that hadn't been filled in, these are pretty much craters up to about 3 to 4  metres wide and a metre or so deep.

 

Luckily  Evil Kneivel was driving and he  reckons that he can jump one in our 1982 diesel landcruiser.  He took a decent run up through the scrub and must have been doing close to 40kmh  when we launched into space and very nearly made it.

surat.jpg.4992fcdfc53e1c8812b55e0ab3a519f4.jpg

 

It didnt drive as well afterwards and when we got back to the camp and jacked it up we discovered why. 

They should have used a  bigger bit of fencing wire the first time around.

surat2.jpg.ebbd1e0d226408cac14a647c0cd71184.jpg

Edited by monkeysarefun
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This reminds me of something both me and my father used to ensure was in the Tool Box.  Some Rubber Hose and Jubilee Clips.  Always good to have about when a throttle cable snapped on a vintage bus or if a pipe sprung a leak!

 

Paul

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As well as a basic toolkit I always used to carry:

 

Fanbelt

Spare plugs

Waterhose bandage

Jubilee clips of various sizes

Spare bulbs for headlights and sidelights/indicators

Gallon bottle of water for radiator (just in case)

Coil of electrical wire and insulation tape (see post above...)

 

It would get you out of trouble 9 times out of 10....

 

With modern cars, the only sensible thing to carry is the phone number of your recovery service. And make sure you have your mobile phone and that its fully charged!

 

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35 minutes ago, Hroth said:

With modern cars, the only sensible thing to carry is the phone number of your recovery service. And make sure you have your mobile phone and that its fully charged!

With proper real older cars you could nearly always get them to go again on the side of the road with a basic kit of tools, a few lengths of wire and some of that decent insulation tape they used to sell before that plastic stuff usurped it from hardware store shelves.  I've only ever owned 1950s cars and I've never regretted that for a moment. 

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I the past, i used to compete in Classic reliability Trials....long distances involved.

They were nearly always down the west country area....so a long way from my home.

The nature of the events meant trailering the car to & from  was more complicated than a complicated thing.

 

More than once, my sturdy steed managed to get to the finish [for the all-important Finishers' Certificate!!]...before giving up the ghost.

Which meant, Recovery! {AA, RAC, , etc] back home.   I think I managed to actually drive back home more times than I arrived under flashing amber lights....although my Ex might dispute this?

 

I have to admit, the 50 or so quid spent on breakdown cover was well worth it.....in the savings in petrol costs getting back home?

 

A well tuned 1300cc Skoda rarely gave more than 22 mpgs....

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1 hour ago, Annie said:

some of that decent insulation tape they used to sell before that plastic stuff usurped it from hardware store shelves. 

 

Though even the plastic stuff can be "adequate" to get you home where a crimping tool and soldering iron is available for more substantial repairs!

 

As for 50s cars, I'd love one but in present circumstances its a pipe dream.

 

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Old vehicles are all right, provided you don’t actually want to use them for their intended purpose of providing transport. Once you have one, you quickly realise how far vehicle technology, safety and convenience have progressed in the past 50+ years. They’re time-consuming even on basic checks and maintenance in a way that modern ones aren’t.

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