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If I ask a question on RMWeb, or request advice, I always try to adequately acknowledge any response that members are patient or kind enough to make.

 

Am I being too ego-centric to expect a response to a posting in which I seek to aid or support someone?

 

I quite understand how some succinct jewel-like utterance [iMO] may be missed in a fast-moving thread with multiple posts, but when I have taken the time and trouble to

 

a.) Use the 'Search' facility to point out to someone how useful the facility can be...

 

b.) Trawl through my past posts to find a pertinent solution

 

only for my post to be the abiding last post in the thread it makes me disgruntled.

 

Would it be too much to ask members to 'watch' posts in which they have asked for assistance for, say, a week or so? Not everybody reads every request for advice or assistance on the day it is posted, neither do they have the opportunity to respond equally rapidly.

 

There...rant over, and if I have failed to acknowledge any responses to my posts asking for advice or assistance I hereby apologise.

 

 

Doug

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Hello Doug.

 

I think you've made some valid points and it's my experience that the majority of RMwebbers do acknowledge any help that is supplied. I think the Forum is a very civilised community of (mostly) like-minded individuals and the (relatively small... 10% of 16000 members have more than 20 posts) active posters often share your viewpoint.

 

I certainly do. You aren't being ego-centric in any way, just expecting a bit of good manners which most seem to go along with.

 

I've asked loads of questions since signing-up. I do try to check threads for a while, but I reckon I'm sometimes guilty of unintentional ignorance!

 

Maybe you should consider that the minute minority who don't seem to be bothered with a bit of "manners" aren't worth worrying about!!

 

Cheers,

 

Jeff

Edited by Physicsman
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I'm afraid that this one comes up quite often...

I recently posted a couple of replies in a topic, one of which meant digging out a drawing to get the publication date of the magazine that it appeared in, only to have my posts seemingly ignored, and this by one of the RMweb regulars.

So, if 'x' were to ask another question in a topic which I could answer, would I? On the one hand 'x' might not deserve to have their question answered due to past experience, but on the other hand my answer could benefit someone else, perhaps at a later date... Hmmmm.

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The thing is there are those who had a huge moan about what they termed 'chaff' and it seemed they wanted the like button to be used instead of posting a "thanks".

 

If you post a thanks you risk the wrath of the moaners but if you don't and use the like button you risk people like Doug thinking that no one's paying attention.

 

You can't win.

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...a.) Use the 'Search' facility to point out to someone how useful the facility can be...

Doug,

 

I was going to post a tongue-in-cheek response asking whether you'd searched for complaints about some folk showing such a lack of common courtesy, but Paul got there first pointing out that it does come up quite often.

 

...only for my post to be the abiding last post in the thread it makes me disgruntled...

 

I find even more annoying are the odd cases where you make a well-informed or well-researched response only to be completely ignored while the OP continues a discussion with someone who clearly knows very little about the topic and only offers poorly-informed speculation. Fortunately, however, both of these cases are relatively rare and most members do respond with thanks to all who make serious (or not so serious) responses. I wonder if some of the "last post" examples that you mention are really nothing more than forgetfulness or folk being distracted by life beyond the modelling world?

 

The thing is there are those who had a huge moan about what they termed 'chaff' and it seemed they wanted the like button to be used instead of posting a "thanks".

 

If you post a thanks you risk the wrath of the moaners but if you don't and use the like button you risk people like Doug thinking that no one's paying attention.

I think you've got hold of the wrong end of the stick there, Dave. Most complaints about "chaff" refer to the "me too" posts that add little but length to a topic, not thanking someone for providing answers or suggestions in response to a question. The first are appropriately replaced by the like button, whilst the second should require the common coutesy of a response.

 

Nick

Edited by buffalo
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I think that there is a fine line between chaff and manners.

ie the 'like' button I don't think should be used to thank someone

for a direct response to a query, but probably for a general reply

to a useful snippet or explanation to the 'masses'.

 

Obviously, this is my own opinion and I hope I have never failed

to acknowledge a post to me.

 

I would also like to think that a lack of thanks would not preclude

me from posting in the future.

 

Jeff

 

P.S. posted at the same time as Nick!

Edited by [email protected]
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One of the 'things; that annoy me is when posters ask questions and have not used the search option for info initially. info is available on most matters, but some can't be bothered to look. A different matter if they have 'searched' and say so, but ask for clarification.The other thing is when one goes to the trouble to post photos/and ones own drawings on a subject,all time consuming with the thought of helping others. Many may view, but offer NO bouquets, comments etc, As one poster quoted 'experience is only useful if shared' but when no one passes any comments or they are ignored by the enquirer stating they are going their own way. say no more. Good manners should always be forthcoming when answers are posted, even when advice is not taken, and certainly not say so. Slap in the face for those giving the advice. recently seen, the well known/experienced poster said the same. 'why do I bother'. Beeman.

Edited by beeman
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Its a big audience out there so my motto is youll never please all the people all of the time.

 

Can one not post a reply without seemingly wanting a pat on the back? if youre reply is apparently overlooked i dont think anybody needs to jump to conclusions that it was necessarily "ignored". to simply post a "Thanks" in isolation (cos you could end up thanking people all day long), like with other things previously raised, adds nothing to the thread but length. i''ll say this too as this subject has been covered before on quite a few other forums and that is not to confuse not being sycophantic with rudeness or ignorance or lack of manners per se (often the stance taken by the more self righteous when it suits).

 

i dont offer any of my advice to threads in the vain hope I will get a thanks. if i do great if I dont i wont lose sleep over it in fact i dont even think about it and maybe thats the same for others. this is just how things are these days on a fast moving internet IMO. I honestly think its more a case of those that dont religiously thank a poster being more insular and tied up in this that and the other to even be aware that they havent thanked a poster. some people do seem to stew in a pot of misery if they dont get a thank you.

Edited by ThaneofFife
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Good set of sensible rules there, Dave, though my non-specific, non-original post is probably breaking Rules 1 and 3!

 

I have my own basic rule: if you can be helpful to others, do it. If they are helpful to you - acknowledge it. It seems to work most of the time!

 

Jeff

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Reminds me of this in a roundabout way:

 

Later, at home, Marge enters with great news.

 

Marge: I passed!

B&L: Yay!

Lisa: Way to go!

Bart: Way to go!

 

[bart turns around his sign which says "BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME" to

the other side, which reads "CONGRATULATIONS")

 

Marge: Thank you, Bart, thank you, Lisa, for all your help!

Homer: What about me? You didn't thank me!

Bart: You didn't do anything..

Homer: [upset] I like being thanked.

 

Personally speaking, always nice to be thanked, but that's not why I offer up information. It's to help. Take or leave it, if you know it, help someone.

 

Although I will probably go into the category of "chaff" and "doesn't know what he's on about"...

Edited by S.A.C Martin
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Worse in my opinion is a 'You don't know what you're talking about' type response.

 

That has occurred a couple of times to me, which makes me less inclined to answer future questions from that person.

 

Perhaps, not every answer given by me or anyone else is 100% correct, but often by doing so, it assists in ferreting out far more accurate information. None of us know everything about a particular topic, even though it could be our individual speciality.

 

Finding sources of information on the 'net' or elsewhere for reference and passing on, is one thing, but ultimately it is up to the person who asked for it to determine whether it is "True or False". If it is indeed false, there is no need for rudeness. We can only try our best.

 

 

Kevin Martin

 

ps I see S.A.C. Martin has replied in a similar vein.

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Can one not post a reply without seemingly wanting a pat on the back?..... i dont offer any of my advice to threads in the hope I will get a thanks everytime.

 

Hi, T'o'F,

 

I do take your point, but if a post ends on the note of 'let me know if this helps...' you don't know if you have solved a problem for someone. Occasionally a suggestion I have made is improved upon by a third party poster and I get the benefit, too.

 

Ah well, as Martina Navratilova said on Desert Island Discs yesterday appropos her recovery from breast-cancer 'It taught me not to sweat the little things in life...'

 

Doug

 

[Edited for spelling mistakes]

Edited by Chubber
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Could the same be said for compliments? I think so, possibly even more so if someone has gone out of their way to stop and say something nice about your work, and not just looked and moved on.

 

I recently complimented a micro layout modeller on their superb layout and it was completely ignored. Posts continued after my my own and I was not only surprised, but quite appalled at the manners of this person. I deleted my post in disgust.

 

I always follow my own topics and if someone has commented or complemented I always acknowledge this, if not separately then in a group posting.

 

Manners cost nothing but are so valuable.

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...cos you could end up thanking people all day long...

What a gross exaggeration, most questions don't receive that many responses :no: If it really is a problem, collective thanks are acceptable.

...i dont offer any of my advice to threads in the hope I will get a thanks everytime...

I very much doubt that many people do, but it is the behaviour of some questioners that we are discussing, not of respondents.

...thats how things are these days on a fast moving internet.

What a pathetic and overused excuse for idleness and rudeness.

 

Nick

Edited by buffalo
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There are an enormous amount of topics on here that have little to do with modelling, and to be frank some would be better calling the Samaritans than bleating on here.

 

One of the joys of having a forum with "Wheeltappers" ;) (By the way, wheeltappers posts don't show up in your overall post count).

 

You only have to look at the number of posts of some members to see that some have a lot to say for themselves, I wonder how they manage to do any modelling?

 

Well, saying this as someone with four thousand, seven hundred and eighty...eight posts as of this post, I'd like to say they are all about my modelling but of course they're not. I enjoy debating, asking questions and taking part in general discussion of threads. There's nothing wrong with that surely? It's all railway related for the most part...!

Edited by S.A.C Martin
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Well the OP didn't use the search to see if this tiresome topic had been posted before.

 

There are an enormous amount of topics on here that have little to do with modelling, and to be frank some would be better calling the Samaritans than bleating on here.

 

You only have to look at the number of posts of some members to see that some have a lot to say for themselves, I wonder how they manage to do any modelling?

 

 

Hhm....Do I detect a whiff of troll?

 

However,... Not in response to the above, I'm re-posting to say that having re-read my OP, it would have been far more realistic to have said 'Why do I bother sometimes...' as the majority of members to whom I have responded do make appropriate remarks, and as Nick has said, a collective acknowledgement is perfectly acceptable.

 

Doug

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I think that there is a fine line between chaff and manners.

ie the 'like' button I don't think should be used to thank someone

for a direct response to a query, but probably for a general  reply

to a useful snippet or explanation to the 'masses'.

 

I am afraid I use the "like" button as a "thank you" button but have been known to post a more verbal thank you, especially when following up on an answer. Or where the answer has obviously taken that little bit more effort to produce (eg dates/photos/references/etc)

 

As for being on the receiving end - it is a nice to have, friendly acknowledgement (again the "like" button is perfectly acceptable) - but I can't get overly fussed about not having it. I put it in the same frame as someone opening a door and holding it for you to pass through. As long as it isn't then just shut in your face, I can get along without.

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You only have to look at the number of posts of some members to see that some have a lot to say for themselves, I wonder how they manage to do any modelling?

Yup, I have apparently posted 4577 times, and have been thanked almost 3000 times. I do model when the mood takes me and other circs permit. And your point is?
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Yup, I have apparently posted 4577 times, and have been thanked almost 3000 times. I do model when the mood takes me and other circs permit. And your point is?

 

That being the case Ian, I'm much less useful than you are at 4800+ posts and thanked 2000 times...! :jester:

 

That gives me a usefulness rating of about 2/5ths of my posts. Must try harder...!

Edited by S.A.C Martin
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That being the case Ian, I'm much less useful than you are at 4800+ posts and thanked 2000 times...! :jester:

 

That gives me a usefulness rating of about 2/5ths of my posts. Must try harder...!

Gosh, Simon - if I was looking for anyone on this forum to have a sideswipe at, it would not be you! I have more keyboard time than you, being retired, while I know you are still just getting off the career launchpad. My extra time gives me more opportunities to research questions and offer facts that even I didn't know 5 minutes earlier. You, meanwhile, are trying to earn a living! A thoroughly unfair comparison!
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Gosh, Simon - if I was looking for anyone on this forum to have a sideswipe at, it would not be you! I have more keyboard time than you, being retired, while I know you are still just getting off the career launchpad. My extra time gives me more opportunities to research questions and offer facts that even I didn't know 5 minutes earlier. You, meanwhile, are trying to earn a living! A thoroughly unfair comparison!

 

Very kind of you to say Ian :)

 

I think the point is made, Mr Angus. Post count is irrelevant. The number of likes is more or less irrelevant. This is a thriving community with regular posters willing to help out with queries and chat amicably on the subject of railways; model or not. 'Nowt wrong with that at all.

 

Not sure why Mr Angus felt the need to side swipe at a whole community with only his 14th post, but there you go.

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...

Can one not post a reply without seemingly wanting a pat on the back? if youre reply is apparently overlooked i dont think anybody needs to jump to conclusions that it was necessarily "ignored".

 

Old chestnut I'm afraid, Stewart. It's not about being stroked and cosseted, it's the simple courtesy of someone acknowledging that they place a value on the time and effort given up on their behalf. And as Doug says, it's also good for a respondent to know that his response has been targeted in the right direction or at an appropriate level.

 

Threads like this ultimately stand or fall on one distinction IMO - some people just dont seem to understand conventional concepts of manners. I dont mind if other folk are not as fussed as I am about that, but I draw the line at suggestions that manners simply aren't necessary. In 'outside' life, I wouldnt dream of leaving a shop checkout, a bar or the desk of a colleague who'd helped me without saying 'thanks' in some form. Maybe society is changing, maybe I'm just a dinosaur, but if I am, I'd like to think I'm in good company.

Edited by Pennine MC
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To be honest I don't expect people to comment on my contributions to this or the other two forums I post on. If someone does that's a bonus.

 

The only thing that rattles me is rudeness. I was once (and only once) on the receiving end of some very insulting comments on this site a long while ago.

 

However, in this particular case it turned out to be a blessing in disquise!!!

 

Jack

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