For those that fear coming to Australia!

[Horsetan]

 

He's gone & been replaced by a woman on a much more modest salary.

 

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-06-27/christine-holgate-new-australia-post-boss/8654762

 

 

I read about his departure a little while ago..................why the F#% do these ARs@holes get this sort of money for leaving an organisation.private or government..........bloody ludicrous

 

Maybe he's preparing to become a (Vice)Chancellor of a British University.......

[allan downes]

Which option did you go for?

Dig my own well.

[Classsix T]

I strongly advise people to take the test now.

That sort of thing isn't encouraged in the pub/church/library over here in Blighty, best wait til you get home eh.

 

Mind you, as if to prove what a bunch of prudes we are, a nursing mother, no matter how discreetly done, will be tutted and tsked as if she had taken a dump on Princess Diana's fountain/waterslide (logflume, heh!) thing in some park or other.

 

C6T.

[Classsix T]

Look up "Australian" in the dictionary and you will find a clip of Bob Katter, North QLD MP and my favourite mental.

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ih1EuMLspY

You mock, and he quite possibly is a loon, but doesn't he actually make the satirists point that the question being asked the nation was loaded to start with?

 

C6T.

[The Blue Streak]

They sent me one which I ignored. Three years later (July this year) I had 1/3 of my bowel removed because of pre cancerous growths. I strongly advise people to take the test now. 

 

My kit has been sitting for 3 Months awaiting my "attention".

 

I shall heed Matt's warning and get it sorted asap.

 

Thanks for the wake up call.

[ikks]

My kit has been sitting for 3 Months awaiting my "attention".

 

I shall heed Matt's warning and get it sorted asap.

 

Thanks for the wake up call.

Do it mate!! I just almost lost a close friend whose cancer started in the colon discovered by a poo test, he ended up undergoing chemo, apparently very difficult, eventually had to have one of those bags because his arse had to be sown up, 12 months later he was diagnosed with liver cancer, it had spread. Half of his liver was removed, Ian told me the subsequent pain was unbearable, anyway he is still with us ............I hope for a long time. If he hadn't sent that bit of crap through the mail he probably would not he with us.

 

Mike

Edited December 12, 2017 by ikks

[PhilJ W]

Do it mate!! I just almost lost a close friend whose cancer started in the colon discovered by a poo test, he ended up undergoing chemo, apparently very difficult, eventually had to have one of those bags because his arse had to be sown up, 12 months later he was diagnosed with liver cancer, it had spread. Half of his liver was removed, Ian told me the subsequent pain was unbearable, anyway he is still with us ............I hope for a long time. If he hadn't sent that bit of crap through the mail he probably would not he with us.

 

Mike

I had a colleague who had liver cancer, she had the entire liver removed and was placed in a hospice to die. She was still there six months later and when she was examined it was found that her liver had grown back again, and whats more it was healthy with no sign of cancer. Obviously a tiny piece of healthy liver had been left and this had regenerated.

[monkeysarefun]

I had a colleague who had liver cancer, she had the entire liver removed and was placed in a hospice to die. She was still there six months later and when she was examined it was found that her liver had grown back again, and whats more it was healthy with no sign of cancer. Obviously a tiny piece of healthy liver had been left and this had regenerated.

 

That is an extra good news story, usually the only bits that grow back are annoying things like hair and finger nails. The actual important parts  like lungs and arms and eyes and so on are a one shot deal - lose them once and thats it mate!

 

Which rubs salt into the wound when you've lost your legs in some accident or a weird bet  - they won't grow back ever but you  still have to make your way to the barbers on your stumps to get your hair cut every month or so.

 

I had a running injury caused by running too much - ( I wish my doctor had mentioned that possibility to the blokes chasing me)  and in pioneering ground breaking  Aussie surgery  (thats what the pamphlet said to make me hand over my 10 grand..) got stem cells sucked out of my stomach and injected into my knee, apparently they will know they are now in my knee and build a better knee version 2.0 , rather than just think they are still a stomach and send my excess beer and so on down there so I end up with some kind of beer belly knee.

 

And to change things to  a train topic after 700 posts (I bet the original guy posting about the sea lice had no idea how viral this would go!) , I was in Canberra a few weeks ago and finally saw the Garrett. I didn't think to take a photo at the time so here is  moofie I stole off the internet..

 

I reckon if batman had been a rail enthusiast and had needed to to travel to fights with villains by train because he'd been caught DUI or something then HE'D have definitely used this black Garret (biggest and worlds most EVIL looking train  in the southern hemisphere mate!)

Edited December 12, 2017 by monkeysarefun

[Classsix T]

R:"Holy smokestacks Batman, Commissioner Gordon must have the right hump. The Bat-signal is blinking."

 

B:"Yes, well he's been signalling for the past three hours. Alfred assures me we'll have steam in twenty minutes though. Make sure you use the clean Batshovel to make the Batbaconsarnies this time Boy Wonder."

 

R:"Every bleeding time. I used the Batpoopshovel once and you won't let it go will you?"

 

B:"Yeh, well, how many supercriminals got away with their heinous crimes cos I spent the next week on the Batbog?"

 

R:"Jeez! I'm using the Robinmobile...I HATE YOU!"

 

B:"Good luck in yer Tamworth tricycle. Mind that slight bend just outside the Batcave! (kids...tsk). Oh , I need him to sight the sigs on the reverse curves into Gotham."

 

And thus the Joker became President of the United States.

 

C6T.

[Ozexpatriate]

B:"Yes, well he's been signalling for the past three hours. Alfred assures me we'll have steam in twenty minutes though. Make sure you use the clean Batshovel to make the Batbaconsarnies this time Boy Wonder."

Doesn't that Garratt have a coal auger / mechanical stoker?

[Classsix T]

Doesn't that Garrett not actually belong to Wayne Enterprises?

 

C6T.

Edited December 12, 2017 by Classsix T

[The Blue Streak]

I had a running injury caused by running too much - ( I wish my doctor had mentioned that possibility to the blokes chasing me)  and in pioneering ground breaking  Aussie surgery  (thats what the pamphlet said to make me hand over my 10 grand..) got stem cells sucked out of my stomach and injected into my knee, apparently they will know they are now in my knee and build a better knee version 2.0 , rather than just think they are still a stomach and send my excess beer and so on down there so I end up with some kind of beer belly knee.

 

 

I was going to press the supportive button, but My bursting out laughing at your bit about the blokes chasing you, made all the difference so the supportive got overridden and you got a funny.

 

Talking of injuries I am off to the Physioterrorist soon, as I am her first victim for the day

 

She beats Me up far more than any pub yobbo's from the 80's ever did and then I give her $90 for the privilege. (Just kidding I always feel better after the bruises go away).

 

Great vid of the Garratt by the way. It would have been nice if someone had thought to preserve one of the West Aussie ones.

[The Blue Streak]

 It would have been nice if someone had thought to preserve one of the West Aussie ones.

 

This is the West Aussie Garratt I was thinking of.

The MSA class (of 10) built at the WAGR Workshops in the '30s.

 

 

Although I must stand corrected -

- apparently the last one was set aside for preservation at the Midland workshops when an instruction was misinterpreted by an employee and it was cut up :(

Edited December 13, 2017 by The Blue Streak

[monkeysarefun]

Why the hell did someone think we even needed the daily mail down here?

 

 

Up until 2 years ago I only knew of it because it got  a mention in a line in 'Paperback Writer" by the Beatles  - about how his son was writing for it  and it was a steady job but he wants  to be a paper back writer... (Paper back writer....).

 

But now we have the online Australian  version and when they aren't ripping off stories from the other real media sites they post rubbish like this -

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5167507/Deadly-funnel-webs-set-plague-Australian-homes.html

 

Attention Daily Mail, we have had Funnel Web spiders since the days of the first fleet, and  they are not all going to invade our homes this summer  and kill us in 15 minutes because every summer is the same and  we already KNOW to bang our shoes  against something to dislodge them all before putting them on, its part of being an Australian. It happens EVERY year. And NO one has been killed by a Funnel Web since 1979, that is 38 years ago! Way more people have been killed by dogs, horses and bees since then.

 

We are not scared, despite your overly hyped posturing and crap sensationalism. Also Huntsmen spiders are not on the ten most  dangerous spider list, maybe to a Daily Mail 'reporter' they look like they should be  - but they just aren't in any way dangerous.

 

When I came home on Monday the little girls next door ran up to me holding a small dead red belly black snake which was all dried up, then they started throwing it at each other like kids do,  I don't know how the 'reporters' at the daily mail would have handled that, it would have been way beyond their ability to blame migrants or labor or the unemployed so they'd just have had to resort to showing some celebrity side boob or a Kadashian as per usual, while being all tut tut tutty about the morals of today.

 

 

Some recent English imports are funny, like the Barmy Army and the Australian version of Are You Being Served.

 

OK, that wasn't funny, I was just making stuff up like the Daily Mail.

 

(Here is proof that it wasn't funny...

 

 

 

 

What rubs salt into the wound is that we  already have the best tabloid paper in the world, the NT news! Idiot headlines, but non judgemental and with larrikinism turned uo to 10.

 

Waaaayyyyyy out of YOUR league, daily mail. 

 

In comparison I  just wish the Daily Mail with its turgid ability to be both sanctimonious yet still sleazy at the same time would just ###### off back to you guys!

 

Sorry, that spider 'story' just got me all hot under the collar!

[Horsetan]

.....we  already have the best tabloid paper in the world, the NT news! Idiot headlines, but non judgemental and with larrikinism turned uo to 10.

nt1.jpg

nt2.jpg

 

I just like the headline about the "suspiciously small package" juxtposed with the following one about winning a family pass to "see the Wiggles".

[monkeysarefun]

I just like the headline about the "suspiciously small package" juxtposed with the following one about winning a family pass to "see the Wiggles".

 

See, you are being all english, proven  by your ability to train-spot  subtleties in the juxtaposition of the headlines,

 

Beware though, because if the NT news editors saw you doing that, they'd just carpet bomb you with a front page like this..

 

Edited December 13, 2017 by monkeysarefun

[allan downes]

 

"Some recent English imports are funny, like the Barmy Army and the Australian version of Are You Being Served.

 

 

 

OK, that wasn't funny, I was just making stuff up like the Daily Mail.

 

 

 

(Here is proof that it wasn't funny..."

 

It wasn't funny when we had it over here, Monkeysarefun. That bloody poofter, John Inman who, up until his passing, was always way up there on top of my hit list.

 

Totally cringeworthy British TV fodder produced for the masses.

[monkeysarefun]

"Some recent English imports are funny, like the Barmy Army and the Australian version of Are You Being Served.

 

 

 

OK, that wasn't funny, I was just making stuff up like the Daily Mail.

 

 

 

(Here is proof that it wasn't funny..."

 

It wasn't funny when we had it over here, Monkeysarefun. That bloody poofter, John Inman who, up until his passing, was always way up there on top of my hit list.

 

Totally cringeworthy British TV fodder produced for the masses.

 

 

The weird thing was, those 70's gay acts - John Inman, Dick Emery, and so on, were truly beloved here,

 

You could go into the meanest looking  pub after fighting for parking among utes filled with caged pig hunting dogs and gun racks to find the owners glued to the tiny black and white tellies that could only get the ABC (our national broadcaster and so therefore an ideal buyer of your crap shows!) and pi^^ing themselves laughing  at English blokes  in frocks  or putting on the gay banter. It truly was weird.

 

But then again our Rugby League association rules state that if you are a league player, no matter how boofy, you will at some point be required to frock up and appear on the 'Footy Show' in fishnet stockings and a wig for some 'hilarious' segment.

Edited December 13, 2017 by monkeysarefun

[kevinlms]

 

 

And to change things to  a train topic after 700 posts (I bet the original guy posting about the sea lice had no idea how viral this would go!) , I was in Canberra a few weeks ago and finally saw the Garrett. I didn't think to take a photo at the time so here is  moofie I stole off the internet..

 

 

As the one who started this thread, I'm chuffed that its been so well received. Must be the longest thread I've started!

 

PS the locomotives are Garratts, not Garretts (they are traction engines and the like and parts thereof).

[Horsetan]

...PS the locomotives are Garratts, not Garretts (they are traction engines and the like and parts thereof).

 

Garretts are turbochargers.

[monkeysarefun]

As the one who started this thread, I'm chuffed that its been so well received. Must be the longest thread I've started!

 

PS the locomotives are Garratts, not Garretts (they are traction engines and the like and parts thereof).

 

It HAS  been a great thread, so much Australianess have we uncovered!.

 

AS to the Garrett spelling blooper, that is easily explainable by noting that there is one Australian Garrett who does overshadow the alternative spellings.

 

(I was there in that crowd, there I am, the young long haired bloke in a T shirt bouncing up and down! !  Wanda Beach triple J concert 1982, The Oils obviously , and a heap of bands I've suddenly forgotten.. A young and up and coming INXS, The Machinations,  Mondo Rock, I think, maybe Misex or did I see them somewhere else about the same time?  It is so long ago now!)

 

Edited December 13, 2017 by monkeysarefun

[FPH 603]

Sydney Ferries are naming their next ferry 'Ferry McFerry Face'. Stupid, I know, right? That's what happens when a meme obsessed population votes on childish names for something that's supposed to honourary. It is truly revolting! Come up with a proper name, don't let the child's excuse ruin it for everyone.

[ikks]

The weird thing was, those 70's gay acts - John Inman, Dick Emery, and so on, were truly beloved here,

 

You could go into the meanest looking  pub after fighting for parking among utes filled with caged pig hunting dogs and gun racks to find the owners glued to the tiny black and white tellies that could only get the ABC (our national broadcaster and so therefore an ideal buyer of your crap shows!) and pi^^ing themselves laughing  at English blokes  in frocks  or putting on the gay banter. It truly was weird.

 

But then again our Rugby League association rules state that if you are a league player, no matter how boofy, you will at some point be required to frock up and appear on the 'Footy Show' in fishnet stockings and a wig for some 'hilarious' segment.

Same get up worn by a certain ex- foreign minister who thinks he is the Queen of South Australia .............. Agree Kevin this is a great thread.

 

Mike

[SRman]

See, you are being all english, proven  by your ability to train-spot  subtleties in the juxtaposition of the headlines,

 

Beware though, because if the NT news editors saw you doing that, they'd just carpet bomb you with a front page like this..

 

nt8.png

 

So that headline was written by Mrs Slocombe!

[monkeysarefun]

Danny Le Rue -  he was another UK dressing-up- in-ladies-stuff  act that was  beloved down here.

 

Between leaving school for the last time and starting life in the real world (ie,going to Granville Tech which I thought would be full of blonde girls with their double D's in  tight sweaters like what was on 'Dobbie Gilliis', -  my sole guide to college life, but in fact was just full of Butchers apprentices who formed a never ending sick parade line extending from their classroom to the first aid office cradling severed bits) , I had a part time job at a chrome plating factory. All the employees were chrome plated hard men, but had all bought tickets to Danny Le Rue show when he toured here.

 

I found this bit of the tour on youtube, you have to imagine that the audience is full of big tough bikies and chrome plating blokes all screaming his name..