The Night Mail

[SM42]

We have had some friends over today who come with a three and one year old as standard. 

 

Luckily I don't have to repaint the house now they have left, but the TV  has taken a battering and the windows need the handprints cleaning off. 

 

Meanwhile, I have just finished tea. 

 

Mrs SM42 asked if I would like a cup of tea and a sandwich with some pork pie. 

Pork pie being a rarish treat at SM42 Towers i quickly agreed lest the opportunity pass.

 

Pork pie with a sandwich.

What's not to like?

 

What I was not expecting was the pork pie sliced up as the sandwich filling. 

 

Very nice though. 

 

I wouldn't be surprised if it was one of those dishes with a geographical protection only allowed to be produced in Wigan. 

 

Andy

[Compound2632]

5 minutes ago, SM42 said:

What I was not expecting was the pork pie sliced up as the sandwich filling. 

 

I have eaten so much over the last nine days that the very thought is nauseating. I think I need to live on sardines in olive oil for the next month.

[Dave Hunt]

4 hours ago, New Haven Neil said:

I've described before how months of work and money was thrown in the bin by a Consultant who changed his mind about the project just as was about to implement it.

 

My No. 1 son is a senior manager for a health IT company and tells me that he has experienced more than a few instances when systems that were agreed by all prior to design finalisation have been stopped in their tracks at the installation stage by a single consultant saying, "I don't want it to do that," or similar. Since it has been post-design stage it has cost the hospital trust mega bucks as my son and his team have had to go back to the drawing board. In some cases it has happened more than once in the same contract.

 

Dave

[Dave Hunt]

3 hours ago, Winslow Boy said:

......i can't think of what to describe TNM as. This may take some time so talk amongst yourselves.

 

Probably the acronym from Fellowship of Ancient Railway Train Specialists?

 

Dave

[Dave Hunt]

21 minutes ago, Compound2632 said:

 

I have eaten so much over the last nine days that the very thought is nauseating. I think I need to live on sardines in olive oil for the next month.

 

A few days ago I thought that I was feeling a bit queasy through overeating but it turned into the lurgy from which I have yet to recover. Together with a surge of sciatica I've managed a less than great start to 2023. Bu**er.

 

Dave 

[jamie92208]

39 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

 

A few days ago I thought that I was feeling a bit queasy through overeating but it turned into the lurgy from which I have yet to recover. Together with a surge of sciatica I've managed a less than great start to 2023. Bu**er.

 

Dave 

Ah but it has started you dreaming about French metre gauge. Next it will be one of René's assistants that you dream about.

 

Jamie

Edited January 1, 2023 by jamie92208

[SM42]

44 minutes ago, Dave Hunt said:

 

A few days ago I thought that I was feeling a bit queasy through overeating but it turned into the lurgy from which I have yet to recover. Together with a surge of sciatica I've managed a less than great start to 2023. Bu**er.

 

Dave 

 

Sciatica 

 

In my doctor's top ten list of things not to get. 

 

He has a wonderful, calming way with words

 

Andy

[BR60103]

We went for a brief drive today with the possibility of a walk in the park. Too wet to walk. On the way home the Low Tire Pressure light came on, then went out.  At home the tires looked OK, but when I went out with the pressure gauge, one was totally flat.  CAA came and changed it.  He showed me the #8 screw in the tread. Tomorrow it's up to the dealers.

 

[J. S. Bach]

Night Owl from the Piedmont.

[jjb1970]

On consulting, I used to do consulting as a sideline for the MoD. My then employer basically took over most of the functions formerly done by the RCNC and Admiralty inspectors etc for design approval and certification of RN warships. There was an internal wall between certification work and consulting, the problem was the same person could be doing design approval for one design and providing consulting to the MoD on another program which in my view compromised that segregation, but that's another story. As a warship geek I should have loved it, and in many respects it was indeed the most interesting work I did, but the MoD was the client from hell. They were notorious for signing POs and contracts for a defined service, realising that service wasn't what they wanted and then demanding that we turn on a sixpence and do something completely different but within the terms of the original contract. They were invariably put out when they received a request for a variation order and a quote for the cost to do what they now wanted. What was annoying is that several times I recommended altering the scope of work because it was obvious where things were headed but because it invariably added more work (hence cost) their attitude was I was trying to scam them. In fairness the engineers and naval architects at Abbey Wood who were doing the technical work were excellent, extremely competent but they were working within a dysfunctional system. They were very apologetic about it all. I am sure I have shared this before but I snapped at one meeting and upset one senior chap as he was pontificating about engines and was adamant that warship engines are special. I explained that they'd either buy commercially available diesel engines to power their ships or figure out some other way to power them as no engine builder was interested in modifying (let alone preparing a completely new design) for warships and it didn't matter how much money the MoD offered - their business wasn't worth it. The guy was horrified and genuinely oblivious to the reality that companies like Maersk, COSCO, ONE, MSC, Evergreen etc buy more engines in a year, year on year, than the MoD will want over several dacades. The business on offer from the MoD was insignificant for the engine builders and it came with all sorts of headaches (endless meetings, endless requests for changes) that they didn't get from commercial customers. If they work with a shipyard like DSME building ships for a commercial shipowner a contract is signed, the engine delivered with all necessary certification and payment made, bish bash bosh, no messing, for naval work it becomes like the neverending story.

And the sad thing is that working as a consultant was the easier side. For those not familiar with classification, a class society does not make any comment on whether a design is good or bad, whether it is the right equipment, or anything else. All a class society does is assess compliance with their rules, and when acting as a recognized organization on behalf of a government for compliance with statutory requirements. It is a binary decision, a design is either compliant with the rules or not compliant. This is very much understood by commercial shipyards and designers who understand that class rules and statutory requirements are not intended to be an alternative to a contractual specification. However time after time the MoD would go nuts because an aspect of a design was approved and they didn't like it, no matter how many times they were told that a class society is not a design house (indeed the whole system is based on exactly the opposite, they purposely do not want to approve their own work) and the design, requirements, specification etc were a matter for the MoD. As a surveyor my only job was to review the design and make a decision whether it met the class rules, no more, no less.

Things that would be resolved with a quick phone call when working on container ship, cruise ship, LNG carrier etc projects would drag on for months. I guess I'm in full on rant mode now, I'd better stop, sorry!

[AndyID]

"The party's over

 

I'm glad to be able to report that no objects or persons got smashed or smashed-up. As it turns out there were just the right number of attendees and everyone seemed to have an enjoyable time. I think we provided sufficient food but we do seem to have ended up with even more beverages than we started with.

 

 Just to be a bit different I knocked out some of my signature crispy air-fried bacon rolls (the bacon and rolls were obtained from that epicurean establishment known as Wallmart.) This was a bit of a gamble as I wasn't exactly sure how bacon rolls would go down here but I'm able to report that Americans are just as susceptible to a good bacon roll as anyone else. ("Hoovering" might be an appropriate adverb.)

 

In the Scottish tradition for this time of year Lorna made two very nice bowls of trifle (Americans have no idea what trifle is). Those disappeared PDQ too 😀

 

If we are still up to it we might even do it again next year.

 

Y'all have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

[polybear]

2 hours ago, jjb1970 said:

On consulting, I used to do consulting as a sideline for the MoD. My then employer basically took over most of the functions formerly done by the RCNC and Admiralty inspectors etc for design approval and certification of RN warships. There was an internal wall between certification work and consulting, the problem was the same person could be doing design approval for one design and providing consulting to the MoD on another program which in my view compromised that segregation, but that's another story. As a warship geek I should have loved it, and in many respects it was indeed the most interesting work I did, but the MoD was the client from hell. They were notorious for signing POs and contracts for a defined service, realising that service wasn't what they wanted and then demanding that we turn on a sixpence and do something completely different but within the terms of the original contract. They were invariably put out when they received a request for a variation order and a quote for the cost to do what they now wanted. What was annoying is that several times I recommended altering the scope of work because it was obvious where things were headed but because it invariably added more work (hence cost) their attitude was I was trying to scam them. In fairness the engineers and naval architects at Abbey Wood who were doing the technical work were excellent, extremely competent but they were working within a dysfunctional system. They were very apologetic about it all. I am sure I have shared this before but I snapped at one meeting and upset one senior chap as he was pontificating about engines and was adamant that warship engines are special. I explained that they'd either buy commercially available diesel engines to power their ships or figure out some other way to power them as no engine builder was interested in modifying (let alone preparing a completely new design) for warships and it didn't matter how much money the MoD offered - their business wasn't worth it. The guy was horrified and genuinely oblivious to the reality that companies like Maersk, COSCO, ONE, MSC, Evergreen etc buy more engines in a year, year on year, than the MoD will want over several dacades. The business on offer from the MoD was insignificant for the engine builders and it came with all sorts of headaches (endless meetings, endless requests for changes) that they didn't get from commercial customers. If they work with a shipyard like DSME building ships for a commercial shipowner a contract is signed, the engine delivered with all necessary certification and payment made, bish bash bosh, no messing, for naval work it becomes like the neverending story.

And the sad thing is that working as a consultant was the easier side. For those not familiar with classification, a class society does not make any comment on whether a design is good or bad, whether it is the right equipment, or anything else. All a class society does is assess compliance with their rules, and when acting as a recognized organization on behalf of a government for compliance with statutory requirements. It is a binary decision, a design is either compliant with the rules or not compliant. This is very much understood by commercial shipyards and designers who understand that class rules and statutory requirements are not intended to be an alternative to a contractual specification. However time after time the MoD would go nuts because an aspect of a design was approved and they didn't like it, no matter how many times they were told that a class society is not a design house (indeed the whole system is based on exactly the opposite, they purposely do not want to approve their own work) and the design, requirements, specification etc were a matter for the MoD. As a surveyor my only job was to review the design and make a decision whether it met the class rules, no more, no less.

Things that would be resolved with a quick phone call when working on container ship, cruise ship, LNG carrier etc projects would drag on for months. I guess I'm in full on rant mode now, I'd better stop, sorry!

 

A certain Bear was much involved with Design Certification on numerous contracts.  Our D.C Dept would have Compliance Matrix docs. that listed all the requirements (e.g. "The little black box shall be painted black") - there'd be hundreds of line items, literally.  Then Bear would have to prove to the D.C. Guys that compliance for each had been met, and if not, why not.  This would mean we'd have "Compliant" or "Non-Compliant" - the first is rather good, the second a pain in the Ass for Bear cos' I'd then have to talk my way out of it.  This led to "Exceptions, Limitations and Advice to User":

• Exception:  "Been like that for the last ten years; never caused a problem in practice and no-body's moaned" etc.  seemed to resolve that one
• Limitations:  e.g. "Don't play with the Radio whilst expecting our kit to work nicely at the same time" kinda stuff
• Advice To User:  e.g. "Crashing may impair the proper performance of our kit, so best not do it" kinda stuff.

 

As for working with the MoD, I do recall one Guy almost being reduced to a gibbering wreck after spending ages writing a rather good Technical Document, only for the MoD to review it and throw it back:

"Typed in Arial - the Contract states that all Documents are to be produced in Times New Roman"

 

So he sorts it and feeds it in again.....and a few weeks later it bounces out again:

"All Headings should be in Bold"

 

And so the saga continued repeatedly.....with excuses such as:

"Sub-headings are in Bold - the Contract states that they should be in plain text"

"Headings should all be in Capitals"

"Sub-Headings should use both upper and lower case type"

 

And why were the MoD playing these games rather than list all the faults in one go and sending it back for correction (the technical content was spot-on, by the way)?  Delaying tactics, pre and simple - it was classed as an important "Deliverable" - and once delivered and accepted then the MoD had to fork out a f. great stage payment

 

Edited January 2, 2023 by polybear

[Happy Hippo]

9 hours ago, jamie92208 said:

Ah but it has started you dreaming about French metre gauge. Next it will be one of René's assistants that you dream about.

 

Jamie

Why only one assistant?

[Winslow Boy]

57 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

Why only one assistant?

 

Perhaps and of course Mr Hunt can correct my line of reasoning, he is a) knocking on a bit and not as 'chipper' as he used to be, b) he has a bad back and c) he might say something in his sleep other than arnt GWR panniers great.

[Happy Hippo]

I see that AY has chopped another thread started by the one and only Knoxxxxr.

 

11 minutes ago, Winslow Boy said:

 

Perhaps and of course Mr Hunt can correct my line of reasoning, he is a) knocking on a bit and not as 'chipper' as he used to be, b) he has a bad back and c) he might say something in his sleep other than arnt GWR panniers great.

It is known that DH is the custodian of a WMD, so I would suggest his age and back are a minor inconvenience.

 

The excuse would be that calling out Michelle in your sleep is just worrying about your half build metre gauge Mallett kit, designed and manufactured by Michele Le Singe.

Edited January 2, 2023 by Happy Hippo
spelling and punctuation

[Winslow Boy]

5 minutes ago, Happy Hippo said:

I see that AY has chopped another thread started by the one and only Knoxxxxr.

 

The excuse would be that calling out Michelle is your sleep  is just worrying about your half build metre gauge Mallett kit designed and manufactured by Michele Le Singe.

 

Hmm what if its the other one - Edith?

[pH]

1 hour ago, polybear said:

As for working with the MoD, I do recall one Guy almost being reduced to a gibbering wreck after spending ages writing a rather good Technical Document, only for the MoD to review it and throw it back:

"Typed in Arial - the Contract states that all Documents are to be produced in Times New Roman"

 

So he sorts it and feeds it in again.....and a few weeks later it bounces out again:

"All Headings should be in Bold"

 

And so the saga continued repeatedly.....with excuses such as:

"Sub-headings are in Bold - the Contract states that they should be in plain text"

"Headings should all be in Capitals"

"Sub-Headings should use both upper and lower case type"

 

And why were the MoD playing these games rather than list all the faults in one go and sending it back for correction (the technical content was spot-on, by the way)?  Delaying tactics, pre and simple - it was classed as an important "Deliverable" - and once delivered and accepted then the MoD had to fork out a f. great stage payment

 

At one time, I worked for an organization doing work under contract to the UK Department of the Environment. We produced one document that went through several iterations, being rejected each time for similar trivial reasons as described. Eventually, we got fed up and sent the original version - we had kept a copy. It was accepted, with thanks!

[Happy Hippo]

Just now, Winslow Boy said:

 

Hmm what if its the other one - Edith?

Poor Dave was having a nightmare!

[Oldddudders]

1 hour ago, Happy Hippo said:

Why only one assistant?

Quite right.

 

[jamie92208]

4 hours ago, AndyID said:

"The party's over

 

I'm glad to be able to report that no objects or persons got smashed or smashed-up. As it turns out there were just the right number of attendees and everyone seemed to have an enjoyable time. I think we provided sufficient food but we do seem to have ended up with even more beverages than we started with.

 

 Just to be a bit different I knocked out some of my signature crispy air-fried bacon rolls (the bacon and rolls were obtained from that epicurean establishment known as Wallmart.) This was a bit of a gamble as I wasn't exactly sure how bacon rolls would go down here but I'm able to report that Americans are just as susceptible to a good bacon roll as anyone else. ("Hoovering" might be an appropriate adverb.)

 

In the Scottish tradition for this time of year Lorna made two very nice bowls of trifle (Americans have no idea what trifle is). Those disappeared PDQ too 😀

 

If we are still up to it we might even do it again next year.

 

Y'all have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

T

The first year we were here we had a bonfire party on the 5th November. About 8 French neighbours plus some Brits attended.  We didn't have a Guy as we thought that burning effigies of Catholic plotters might take a bit of explaining.  Beth worked wonders and made stew and dumplings, parkin and bonfire toffee.  I sorted out the dining arrangements  and quelle horreur didn't put any tables out, just chairs and benches. The French are not into eating with a plate in their hand.  Anyway just like your party Andy, everything was hoovered up. None of the French had ever had any of the three items before and they all asked for more.  We ended up sitting round the fire on bits of upturned tree trunks. A good tine was had by all and all our garden rubbish disappeared. 

 

Jamie

Edited January 2, 2023 by jamie92208

[SM42]

1 hour ago, Winslow Boy said:

 

Hmm what if its the other one - Edith?

 

Or Maria

 

Andy

[SM42]

Mrs SM42 has invited the neighbours round this evening and is now panicking about what party nibbles to provide. 

 

Before that we are expected at a friends this afternoon for coffee and cake. 

 

Before all that happens, I've got to tidy up after yesterday's toddler raid. 

 

This is supposed to be my rest day. 🤔

 

Finally, just for the record, no vanwides were started on Saturday  nor Sunday nights. 

This was due mainly to a lack of energy and there being no more room in the erecting shop.

 

Andy

 

[polybear]

2 hours ago, pH said:

At one time, I worked for an organization doing work under contract to the UK Department of the Environment. We produced one document that went through several iterations, being rejected each time for similar trivial reasons as described. Eventually, we got fed up and sent the original version - we had kept a copy. It was accepted, with thanks!

 

Bear worked was employed by A Great Empire that had a very strange practice when it came to document preparation, such as:

 

Page 1 starts on (IIRC) Page 3 - but even that isn't Page 1 because it's actually Page (i); Pages 2 - 5 (again, IIRC) were actually Pages (ii) to (v).  Page 1 started on Page 6.  Pages of Appendices weren't numbered in the normal way because they were on Pages A-1, A-2 etc.  The Distribution List Page was numbered "Dist".  Confused?  Yes, as was pretty much every other poor s0d spending oodles of their lives fighting with documents that probably no-one was ever likely to read anyway.  Did it cause problems with automatic page numbering?  Oh yes - now if there was a way of calculating just how much time was spent pointlessly fighting with such f. nonsense and how much it cost the Taxpayer then it'd surely be front page news on every paper in the country, with very good reason.

Yep, Rant.

 

 

 

 

[NHY 581]

2 hours ago, Happy Hippo said:

The excuse would be that calling out Michelle in your sleep is just worrying about your half build metre gauge Mallett kit, designed and manufactured by Michele Le Singe.

 

 

[Northmoor]

59 minutes ago, polybear said:

 

Bear worked was employed by A Great Empire that had a very strange practice when it came to document preparation, such as:

 

Page 1 starts on (IIRC) Page 3 - but even that isn't Page 1 because it's actually Page (i); Pages 2 - 5 (again, IIRC) were actually Pages (ii) to (v).  Page 1 started on Page 6.  Pages of Appendices weren't numbered in the normal way because they were on Pages A-1, A-2 etc.  The Distribution List Page was numbered "Dist".  Confused?  Yes, as was pretty much every other poor s0d spending oodles of their lives fighting with documents that probably no-one was ever likely to read anyway.  Did it cause problems with automatic page numbering?  Oh yes - now if there was a way of calculating just how much time was spent pointlessly fighting with such f. nonsense and how much it cost the Taxpayer then it'd surely be front page news on every paper in the country, with very good reason.

Yep, Rant.

Yes, the government-owned organisation I was employed by did just this.  They laid off the people whose job it had been to prepare and issue documents, because they were an "overhead" and everyone had use of MS Word.  The fact that everyone now had to develop their skills in MS Word to get to the level of those who had just been laid off (and do it in the customer's time), was quietly ignored at the taxpayer's expense.  Meanwhile all those who thought this was a good idea, continued to be paid much bigger salaries, at the taxpayer's expense.