NorthBrit Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 Offside in football is simple. By pointing you are offside. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/54855596 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted October 10, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 10, 2021 2 hours ago, The Johnster said: Chum of mine has a husband who is a yottie, and according to him the offside rule and cricket pale into insignificance compared to sailing race rules. If you watch a race, you assume that the boat that crosses the finishing line first is the winner, allowing for class and assuming it has kept to the course, but apparently what actually happens is that they all go out to race, and when they come back, the real competition is held in the club committee room as each skipper registers complaints that all the others have cheated, failed to give way, missed bouys, flown the wrong flags/burgees, worn the wrong tie, failed to illuminate their navigation lights in broad daylight or anything else they can think of. The cup goes to the skipper who buys the club secretary the most gin and tonics at the club bar as everything descends into a drunken haze and the barmaid is the only one left capable of ordering the taxis. I read an interesting book KEELHAULED about the Americas Cup, lots of funny stuff there. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 3 hours ago, NorthBrit said: Offside in football is simple. By pointing you are offside. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/54855596 Even worse than that was Bobby's armpit. https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/7c3b84d3-144e-4641-9ebe-6296bfb696cd When the Premier League had to have a press release explaining it you can tell they were getting it wrong..... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcredfer Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 (edited) With well over half a Century's experience in sport, football is the one where the players are continuously obliged to remind the Referee that the Laws apply, only to the opposition. Edited October 10, 2021 by jcredfer 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Colin_McLeod Posted October 11, 2021 Author RMweb Gold Share Posted October 11, 2021 1 11 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartynJPearson Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 I think I'm a supermarket too and not just occasionally, it's Aldi time. 1 3 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 49 minutes ago, MartynJPearson said: I think I'm a supermarket too and not just occasionally, it's Aldi time. Right now, this asda stop! 1 8 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold CHAZ D Posted October 11, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 11, 2021 I aint Budgen. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted October 11, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 11, 2021 28 minutes ago, luckymucklebackit said: Right now, this asda stop! Just now, CHAZ D said: I aint Budgen. If you're going to Spar at each other like that, you need to give us Morrisons*... Morrisons = more reasons. Feeble, and getting feebler. 1 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckymucklebackit Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 16 minutes ago, Compound2632 said: If you're going to Spar at each other like that, you need to give us Morrisons*... Morrisons = more reasons. Feeble, and getting feebler. In the words of Peter Gabriel - Thankful for her FIne Fare Discount, Tess Co-operates! 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted October 11, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 11, 2021 5 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: Right now, this asda stop! Agreed; there is no Safe Way for it to continue... 4 hours ago, luckymucklebackit said: In the words of Peter Gabriel - Thankful for her FIne Fare Discount, Tess Co-operates! Not with me, she doesn't... 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithMacdonald Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 I thought my wife was about to make a horrible mistake and buy some meat that wasn't Free-Range, Pasture-Fed 100% Certified Organic from British Farms. I shouted down the supermarket isle at her .... Wait Rose! 2 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 I give you all low Marks, for taking the St. Michael. 1 1 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Bernard Lamb Posted October 11, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 11, 2021 5 1 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted October 11, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 11, 2021 2 hours ago, KeithMacdonald said: I thought my wife was about to make a horrible mistake and buy some meat that wasn't Free-Range, Pasture-Fed 100% Certified Organic from British Farms. I shouted down the supermarket isle at her .... Wait Rose! Well done, sir; I’ve been trying to wangle that one into the thread all afternoon! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 I always remember a conversation my nan was having with one of her neighbours about twenty years ago. "How are the family?" "Our Becky's working in Iceland" "My niece works in Tesco" "No. She's in Iceland the country, not the supermarket!" 4 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RJS1977 Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 Two Welshmen were discussing whether they would be going to see the new Bond film. First Welshman: "I'd love to, but I'm so busy right now, I haven't the time." Second Welshman: "Same here. I've no time too, Dai..." 4 6 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
33C Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 I'm not going to join in with these supermarket jokes as I'm not feeling very co-operative...... 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium J. S. Bach Posted October 11, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 11, 2021 I think that the supermarket jokes have reached the acme of silliness! 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Compound2632 Posted October 11, 2021 RMweb Premium Share Posted October 11, 2021 Sainsburys, anyone? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steamport Southport Posted October 11, 2021 Share Posted October 11, 2021 3 hours ago, Compound2632 said: Sainsburys, anyone? Keeps the riff raff out of Waitrose.... 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold The Johnster Posted October 12, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 12, 2021 I thought Waitrose kept the riff raff out of Forntums... 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold Tim123 Posted October 12, 2021 RMweb Gold Share Posted October 12, 2021 Checkmate! 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewC Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 I plan on watching the new Bond film as god intended. 10 years from now at 11:30pm on ITV2 1 2 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Titan Posted October 12, 2021 Share Posted October 12, 2021 (edited) 13 hours ago, Compound2632 said: Sainsburys, anyone? I bought a blueberry muffin only to discover it was with out fruit. It was Sans berries... Best I can do... Edited October 12, 2021 by Titan 3 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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