Australian politics for dummies

[kevinlms]

I used to think that our compulsory system was good - that it at least made people give some thought to how they would vote... 

 

As I've grown older and more cynical, I sometimes muse what sort of a country we might have if, rather than compulsory, your right to vote was either determined by an entrance quiz of how well you actually comprehended, say five, major issues facing our country... or just a plan old IQ test, with the weight of your vote inversely proportional to your stupidity...

But why should the VOTER have to pass an intelligence test, when clearly some of the candidates couldn't. Even some of the major parties have had candidates drop out after serious gaffes & too late for a replacement.

[kevinlms]

One side effect of compulsory voting is that the Big Brother contestants aren't exempt from voting. So tonight, the contestants were subject to especially recorded speeches from many of the candidates, this included the Prime Minister & Opposition Leader.

 

I kid you not, I know this because it was on during tea & my wife watches it. I thought it too funny to encourage her to change the channel.

 

Edit to add this summary.

 

http://www.theage.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/tony-abbott-creeps-out-big-brother-housemates-20130904-2t4hu.html

[Horsetan]

Who was it who said in Parliament to his opposite number "You are a nong...", and other light Australian insults?

[kevinlms]

Who was it who said in Parliament to his opposite number "You are a nong...", and other light Australian insults?

Well Paul Keating called the Senate (Upper House) members 'Unrepresentative Swill'. He was notorious for such comments.

[jukebox]

Well Paul Keating called the Senate (Upper House) members 'Unrepresentative Swill'. He was notorious for such comments.

 

Usefully catalogued here:  http://www.webcity.com.au/keating/  :-)

[jukebox]

Entirely possible if Julia Gillard decides to make a comeback to a Rudd-erless party.

[Horsetan]

LOL

[Ozexpatriate]

Who was it who said in Parliament to his opposite number "You are a nong...", and other light Australian insults?

In my formative years, we went on a school trip to Canberra.

 

These were the days before the 'new' Parliament House - the site for which at that time was marked by a small wooden platform on top of Capital Hill (beneath today's big flagpole) and known locally as "Mal's Treehouse" after then Prime Minister, the Right Honourable [sic] Malcolm Fraser who had authorized the 'new' Parliament House.

 

We were trooped into the visitors gallery to the House of Representatives in the old 'provisional' Parliament House where a lively banter was happening during question time.

 

Our young impressionable minds were treated to the following observation by one of the members (I believe it was the opposition) with proper parliamentary decorum:

 

"The honourable member for <whoop whoop*> is a d!ckhead." This of course was greeted by raucous laughter, hooting and applause from the opposition not to mention lots of grins amidst the jeers and boos from the government members.  They were having a fine old time. We came and we saw Australian politics in action. We were soon trooped out again, at some point off to the more somber confines of the War Memorial.

 

Good old Aussie politics.

 

* I don't remember the district anymore - it was thirtysomething years ago and probably re-districted by now.

[SRman]

I once tuned into Radio National (the ABC) to listen to a Goon Show. It took me several minutes to realise that I wasn't actually hearing a Goon Show but I was, in fact, listening to the parliamentary broadcast! The Speaker was requesting the member for (whoop whoop) to kindly get down off the desk.  

[DavidB-AU]

I once tuned into Radio National (the ABC) to listen to a Goon Show. It took me several minutes to realise that I wasn't actually hearing a Goon Show but I was, in fact, listening to the parliamentary broadcast! The Speaker was requesting the member for (whoop whoop) to kindly get down off the desk.  

An oldie but a goodie.

 

In the 70s and 80s Radio National used to broadcast the Goon Show at 2pm every weekday, unless it was broadcasting Question Time from Canberra. Even way back then the joke was nobody could tell the difference.

 

Cheers

David

[Horsetan]

.....We came and we saw Australian politics in action. We were soon trooped out again....

 

 

Imagine if Julius Caesar had invaded the Australian continent in ancient times:

 

"We came. We saw. We don't understand."

[BOARD OF TRADE]

Or as it is more commonly known,Australian Politics.

[shortliner]

There was a little bit about this election on Radio4 at lunchtime - somehow ozzie politics sound to me like that marvellous spoof interview "The front fell orf!"

or perhaps more accurate in view of the current policies of both parties

[Ozexpatriate]

There was a little bit about this election on Radio4 at lunchtime - somehow ozzie politics sound to me like that marvellous spoof interview "The front fell orf!"

I'd say that's a tribute to the brilliance of John Clarke and Bryan Dawe in skewering the foibles of Australian politicians.

 

John Clarke also appeared in the earlier "Gillies Report" on the ABC where he had a repeating spot as a fake sportscaster for the (invented) sport of '

' along with it's hero Dave Sorenson.

 

The Gillies Report sketches "

" about the McClelland Royal Commission* (Gilbert and Sullivan) and "Il Dismissale" about "the dismissal of the Whitlam Labor government (operatic) are still some of the funniest pieces of political satire I have ever seen.

 

Musical political satire is tricky to pull off but they did it. 

 

Phrasing

 

"This is obvious that this'll

be revenge for the dismissal

which still makes McClelland bristle"

 

over Gilbert's libretto in the introduction to Trial by Jury was brilliant. 

 

Not to mention ...

 

"I'm a rather weak and antique figure head 

Drink another drop and I'll flop back into bed

What have I said,

Governor General, very ephemeral,

Rather be dead."

 

over Figaro's aria from the Barber of Seville is just funny - particularly with regard to the way Sir John Kerr was characterized as parody and in the media.

[Horsetan]

Ah, I see Abbott has claimed victory, and Labour is now Rudd-erless.

[SRman]

Clarke and Dawe are extremely funny and incisive. What gets me is that John Clarke successfully 'impersonates' everyone without changing from his own inimical style.

[The Stationmaster]

Having been in Australia during a Parliamentary election I can only say that it is an incredible and very amusing experience for anyone used to British politics.  The best bits weren't so much the politicians but the way the whole process was treated on, in particular, breakfast tv where the aim seemed to be to come up with the rudest joke or best barely disguised satire or just plain rudest comment aimed at a particular politician - right up to and including the day of the election.  Add to that the way polling stations seem to be decorated with political posters plus canvassers speaking to those going in to vote and it's all very different from what we're used to here.

[Horsetan]

Tony Abbott's got big ears. I've just noticed. Hope he doesn't turn out to be Australia's Dubya.