End of the line for the Royal Train

[The Stationmaster]

After a peoples princess, give 'em a peoples train...A plum nodding donkey. "I say Royal Mumsy, I don't think much of the carsey....Do the plebs really travel in these things?"

Which reminds me of a rather amusing little tale involving said bloke and said train.  The older saloons were fairly normal in their bog arrangements in that they dumped the contents onto the four foot.  Therefore the train carried things called track pans which were unintended to catch said effluent and which were placed in position by the train staff (and duly cleared up by them afterwards while the local Perway were on hand to bury any solid matter.

 

Anyway one stabling site we used to use was on a fairly steep gradient and the track pans were't used as they weren't mush use at such a site so it was simply a post departure shovel job.  But on this particular occasion it was a rather damp morning and although it was only a small formation the Class47 was overpowered on the gradient and couldn't propel the train up it to the disembarkation point.  So the 'principal party' duly disembarked and had to walk up the line to the place where there was the path up to the boundary fence and enroute he walked in the four foot, and, hmm, 'trod in it' I belief is the correct expression.

 

However that was not all because in the mayhem his accompanying staff (of one) forgot the box containing the principal party's picnic breakfast, which was left on the train.  So mayhem part two duly ensued and after consultation with various parties it was commanded that said breakfast be returned to the principal party's London home.  In order to do this it was despatched in the care of the Guard (he wasn't told what it was) on an Up train and I was instructed to make my way from Swindon to Paddington and use the Area car to deliver said breakfast to said London residence.  I duly met the train, obtained the cardboard box which contained the breakfast from the Guard and set off in the car for said London residence.  At security cordon Np.1 I was duly stopped by the copper on duty and asked my business to which I replied 'I've got his breakfast' - to be told 'Ah, we're expecting you. carry on down there and you'll find another copper in a small hut and he''ll be expecting you and will tell you where to park and how to get to the kitchen door'.  All of which I did and then walked to the kitchen door where i was met by a smiling Phillipino chap who gratefully took the box and swiftly glanced at the contents - presumably to make sure that nobody had nicked the cornflakes or had interfered with the bottle of Malvern water or whatever else the box contained (I didn't look so don't know what was in it but presumably as it had been paid for they didn't want it to go to waste?).  Nice part day out of the office, nice train ride and I got home early - only ropey bit was driving round London.

[jjb1970]

I'm surprised some brainiac at DaFT hasn't decided they'll build a dual mode IEP royal train.....they need to figure out justifications for that whole program after all.