seems to be a lot of unhappy friends here when it comes to ebay.
why not try another form of buying or selling your items? a lot of people make out ebay is the be all and end all of buying and selling model railways. craigs list, ebid, gumtree to name a few.
if i can pick up on one point. on the issue of people ignoring T&Cs i think they do read them but choose to disregard them and thats the difference between your sensible level headed buyer and the less salubrious buyer who looks for pinholes in listings on which they can contrive a situation to their own ends.
most sellers are trying to cover themselves from the many unscrupulous buyers who claim not to have received items, when they had, in order to get a refund from ebay and then keep the item on top or sell it on. many seem to think this reads that the buyer is out to rip you off which is a little harsh. i actually believe a lot of disappointment can be avoided if you just do a little homework on the seller first. its very easy and will at least give you a heads up about a potential rip off merchant.
fact is, it is the buyer who is in the best possible position to obtain a full refund for a lost item because unless the seller bought from new and has a receipt, only the buyer has the proof of what it cost them. they have an invoice from the seller via ebay.
if it were left to the buyer to claim a refund for the lost item, where is his proof of what he originally paid for the item? he might have paid £10 for an item and the winning bid was £50 so he got lucky and raised £40 perhaps towards another loco or track etc.
(lets assume we all like to make a little profit here and not get bogged down with alerting the local taxman).
he wont be able to use the invoice he sent to his buyer as his item didnt cost him £50 but he would still have to send the buyer his £50 back plus he has lost his item. ive been in this situation myself and even after apologising for the apparently lost item and quickly refunding the money some buyers still seem to go into vendebtor mode and leave really negative feedback. just because a buyer sends me payment 1 minute after a an auction has ended will not change the fact that in my listing i may have said that the item will be dispatched within say 5 days.
the royal mail insist you provide evidence as to what the lost item cost to you and if you bought it say from a toy fair you wont have a receipt or other evidence so youll just get a book of 1st class stamps if youre lucky. ive been on both ends and take it from me its not all about a few sellers trying to pull fast ones. hopefully my comments will help bring a little balance to the issue of ebay dislikes.
if you want an analogy; people often refer to rogue builders but the fact is for every one rogue builder out there there is one rogue customer..............