Northroader

Pah! Missed 46100 on the ECML this morning.

My hovercraft is full of eels..

my first time exhibiting my own layout this weekend

"The good news Mr Lighting is the tests have shown a reason for you recent chest pain, they also show a reason for your bouts of depression, the bad news is it is a chemical imbalance caused by abnormal liver function." bu66er

May I have a day return to Tuxedo Junction, please.

Sharpening/regrinding 0.5mm drill bits is very difficult.......

How far away is Horrocksford?

“Attention all hands – this is the purser”, “Cabins come fully equipped and if you wish to 'purchase' items from your cabin, the following charges apply :- bathrobe = €50, Kettle = 110, Coffee m/c = €130, Plaid = €80, Cushion = €50 each, Oreiller =€60.” “Items are charged in the currency of the last major port of call.”, “That is all.”

Which filthy Blugbatterbeast in the Galley has given me Space-Flue and Rations Poisoning? OPS, you have the CON. Helm, don't crash into anything, Tactical, try and sort out the Air-Locks. Science Mechanoid NGT6 designation 1315, stop pressing bl00dy buttons. I'm off on an inspection of all the Heads on route to my cabin.

...Helm! Where exactly did you say you graduated from? Sir, the HK&LB School of Navigation. “HK&LB” you say? Yes sir, with honours sir. Can't say I've heard of that one Helm. No sir, it's “The Hard Knocks & Loud Bangs School of Navigation”, sir, quite famous sir...

The Babylon Project was our last, best hope for peace. A self-contained world five miles long, located in neutral territory. A place of commerce and diplomacy for a quarter of a million humans and aliens. A shining beacon in space, all alone in the night. It was the dawn of the Third Age of Mankind… the year the Great War came upon us all. This is the story of the last of the Babylon stations. The year is 2259. The name of the place is Babylon 5.

Sir, just leaving the Terran system's Sun's Heliopause boundary and entering the ISM. Our trailing log indicates that we have travelled ~0.7 Parsecs or 2.28 light years with just under 2 more to go - sir. Watch, anything out there? ZZZzzz... Watch!

COM, I'm issuing an executive order to the Galley to jettison that batch of “Tartare du Thon” through the starboard airlock – I'm convinced it's not cooked! Sir, the port airlock is still full of Tomato Source and you want the Starboard one filling with raw tuna. No, just “Tartare du Thon”. (Sniggers.)

Helm! What's happening? Nothing sir. Unless include hurtling along at an ungodly speed in a tin-can and just about to enter the Oort Cloud. Steady as she goes then Helm, Watch, er, keep watching. Sir, permission to change from AU to Parsecs?

Officer of the watch! Why the hell did you let me sleep in this morning? Well sir, you shout at us if we disturb you. Well yes, but I was 15 minutes away from missing the schedule. As it happens, I just managed to make the required changes with 4 minutes to spare!

Easy as it goes helm. Watch? Sir. Keep a good look out. We're approaching the densest part of the asteroid belt now. Sir? Scanners show the nearest appreciable piece of rock at over 30,000km away.

Easy as it goes helm. Watch? Sir. Keep a good look out. We're approaching the densest part of the asteroid belt now. Sir? Scanners show the nearest appreciable piece of rock at over 30,000km away.

Easy as it goes helm. Watch? Sir. Keep a good look out. We're approaching the densest part of the asteroid belt now. Sir? Scanners show the nearest appreciable piece of rock at over 30,000km away.

Excuse me sir, is that your aardvark?

I am still alive.

If a Minkowski spacetime contains a compact region Ω, and if the topology of Ω is of the form Ω ~ R × Σ, where Σ is a three-manifold of the nontrivial topology, whose boundary has topology of the form ∂Σ ~ S2, and if, furthermore, the hypersurfaces Σ are all spacelike, then the region Ω contains a quasipermanent intrauniverse wormhole.

I was astonished the other day, whilst stopping briefly to make use of the Gentleman's lavatory in a motorway services area, to see an advertisement alleging that a firm has invented a pair of underpants that can either prevent or supress the unwanted emission of gaseous products from one's posterior.

I would just like to make it clear, in unequivocal and unambiguous terms, that I am not in the business of re-felting other people's shed roofs, nor am I particularly keen to even consider installing a bath on the roof of any shed whatsoever, at any time or in any place.

A week off and apparently I'm expected to be decorating...

THE great railway question of the day is undoubtedly that of the Gauges — a question in respect of which there can be no neutrality on the part either of established or of embryo companies; for to all of them the final settlement of the matter at issue is fraught with consequences, prospective as well as present, of no slight importance.