Sprintex

And all that is mostly why I haven't been to a barbers in decades! That and having to converse with the scissor-wielding as well . . . Paul

Boo, means summer's coming Paul

I cut my hair every two weeks anyway with my own clippers. Well most of it gets cut, there's a strip down the middle that's been left growing for about five years now that gets put into an elastic at the back Paul

On my last trip to Sainsbury's and Tesco the usual bog-roll, dried pasta and rice were nowhere to be seen. Strangely though there was plenty of fresh pasta in the pizza/pasta chiller section, and even fresh pasta has a 'best before' that's weeks away from now. Paul

God, it's like Neanderthal central in here . . .

Didn't hear a thing. Mind you I had no idea it was happening as I don't do ANY social media, or social interaction for that matter! Couldn't hear it over the telly anyway Paul

What about those of us with an even-smarter Android phone, no point going to the Apple App Store for that? Paul

Nope, no idea. Presume from the initials it's a football thing maybe? Paul

Our starlings have a lookout stationed on our chimney stack most days. As soon as we fill the feeders up he squawks like mad and his 50+ mates all descend on our garden Paul

Anyone left who thinks the Government action is "too draconian" or not worth taking seriously should watch this from Sunday evening in Italy:- https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/news.sky.com/story/amp/coronavirus-they-call-it-the-apocalypse-inside-italys-hardest-hit-hospital-11960597 Paul PS: Will understand if this gets removed as it's a bit shocking, but some people do need shocking unfortunately.

Yuck! Glad I'm indoors then, hate bright sunny weather Paul

Woke up this morning to find I've sprouted black feathers and a large grey beak. Think I've got Corvid-19 Paul

When reading that my mind just HAD to read it in her accent, made it even funnier! Paul

Depends on whether your asthma is considered "severe" or not? Like you I've had asthma since birth and I'm 50, but it's not considered to be chronic. I have a salbutamol inhaler mainly used on very cold mornings or before exercise, but rarely at other times, and only for a brief period years ago did I have a brown steroid inhaler to use daily. I also usually have a bout of flu once a year, but I don't consider myself to be high-risk in terms of this virus. Paul

"Avoid social contact"? As an Aspie I've been practising for this all my life! Paul

Way ahead of ya And no we didn't "panic buy" this lot, we bought them weeks before all this virus lark started, it's just that me and my Mrs get through so many teabags (helped by 1 pint mugs at a time) it makes sense to buy lots when they're on offer! Should last us a while . . . Paul

I do all of those without being asked: we both work full time so split the housework evenly too. I like cooking, she doesn't. I do the hoovering because she has a back injury, so she does the dusting instead. We both do the washing when it needs doing. The dishwasher does the dishes . Oh, and I spend MY money on whatever I like, and she does the same with hers. After all essential outgoings the meagre remainder is split 50/50 to spend on whatever we like without question Paul

Not much better for newer and more popular cars, throttle cables for 2.9 V6 Sierras have been unobtainable for many years now, either dealer or aftermarket. They break with alarming regularity too, given that the adjuster is all-plastic and is located right on top of the engine in the way of other service items. Paul

Doesn't even need to be a reply to a question these days, people start any sentence with the word "So". Bet it wouldn't take too long to find a thread on here that someone's started with " So I've decided to . . . ". Not sure whether this is another way that social media has mangled the English language, or another creeping Americanism? Paul

Really? We regularly get over a dozen in our garden, they're all nesting in the eaves at the back of our terrace. Paul

Not many wacky signs in these rambling food/pastime posts? Paul

I was in my late 40s when I first realised I may be on the ASD spectrum, while watching the very revealing documentary made by Chris Packham. The similarities in traits, feelings and behaviours were undeniable, and my fiancee was also in total agreement when she watched it later. I have never sought a formal diagnosis as I am lucky enough to be able to live and work without social or financial support from the state, albeit by making a few adjustments - I know many can't. I have almost no-one local who could vouch for me as a child, and the thought of being "interrogated" for hours by medical officials terrifies me. I would however recommend taking the Simon Baron-Cohen online test just to give you an idea if you are ASD or not, even if just for your own peace of mind:- https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient It has helped me answer questions about how I think, and the way I am sometimes, and made things a lot easier in my relationship with my fiancee as we both know now it's not just me being an a**ehole Paul

It seems the Zager and Evans song was more prophetic than it seemed, can't see it taking as long as 500 years at the current rate of deterioration though. https://youtu.be/izQB2-Kmiic Paul

Looks like the Forum Jokes Thread has gone the same way as the Whacky Signs thread - boring factual drivel! Paul

Reorte beat you to it As I said, they changed after I escaped from truck driving so no reason to keep up to date with the speed limits. It's of no consequence now anyway as I didn't renew my licence when I had to pay a fortune for a medical. Paul