Tangoman69

In the spirit of Wimbledon fortnight I bought a punnet of strawberries and looked to the internet for the best way to serve them. It suggested that I halve the strawberries, dust with icing sugar, and pile cream on top. A word to the wise - Preparation H tastes disgusting.

Ahhhh...the French.... When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honour. At the dinner table, the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame de Gaulle: "Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison? What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?" "A ," replied Madame de Gaulle. A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer...... and no one knew what to say next. Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said: "Ma cherie, I believe ze English pronounce zat word, "appiness!'"

It sickening when people get their clichés wrong. I mean it's not rocket surgery.

A bloke in the pub last night said the World Cup going to the Middle East is stupid. He then asked me to name 3 Qatar players. I said George Harrison, Eric Clapton and Jimi Hendrix.

People say my hobby of filling farm animals up with helium is not amusing . But I say, meh, whatever floats your goat.

I was watching an Australian cooking show and the audience clapped enthusiastically when the chef made a meringue. I was a bit surprised to be honest, because Australians usually boo meringues.

I was shopping in Tesco's last night when I spotted a dwarf loitering by the meat counter. I think he was a shoplifter because he was looking furtive and had his jacket open. I think he had second thoughts when he realised that the steaks were just too high!

If you get a chance, can I recommend the Yorkshire Air Museum for part of your trip North? Some great aircraft and stands, with lots of enthusiastic staff! Karl

😲 no room for anything?

I went to a nightclub last night, which was packed with Orcs, Hobbits and Elves. It was Mordor on the dancefloor.

Stephen, It was great to see Troutons on the circuit, a truly inspirational layout. Thanks again for advice on the pipe carriers Karl