Tangoman69

Just bought Cluedo: Swingers Edition. Turns out they all did it In every room.

I just found a half frozen tiny bird as I walked home, so I put it in my pocket to give it a chance of survival . When I showed the wife, she told me how much she loved me for being so kind and sensitive, so I thought I'd try for a kiss & a cuddle, as she was in a good mood !! She said "Please, not in front of the chilled wren".

It’s what the government wants, and it keeps me in a role for a while longer!

Been very slow progress over the past 10 months, dabbling here & there when I can. Still need to continue with the detailing around the palisade fencing and weathering of the track before starting on my car park extension.

Jools, it sounds like you’ve been truly through the ringer mate, you’ve not had the best last 3 years. But the project above looks like it should be tackleable (if that’s a word!) in small steps. Remember, we re not all Alan Downes, James Makin to name a few great modellers, it’s a hobby that we do at our own pace. Sometimes I have an absolute cracking period where I get loads done, then nothing for months. Stick with it and all the best with your conditions.

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in London. They turn a corner and see a sign that says. "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10p." They look at each other and then go in, thinking, this is too good to be true: Graeme, the old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room. "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?" There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis-shaken, not stirred and says. "That'll be 10p each, please." The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40p, finish their martinis and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying. "That's 40p, please." They pay the 40p, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a £1 yet. Finally one of them says. "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a 10p a piece?" "I'm a retired tailor." The bartender says. "And I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for £25 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs 10p wine, liquor, beer-it's all the same." "Wow! That's some story!" One of the men says. As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there. Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the bartender. "What's with them?" The bartender says. "They're retired people from Yorkshire. They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price."

An airline captain was teaching a very pretty new blonde stewardess the do’s and dont’s of her trade. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room. “ You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

An elderly woman was preparing her will and she sought help from her close friend. She told her that she had two final requests: Firstly, she wanted to be cremated and secondly, she wanted her ashes scattered over the Carpark of her nearest Aldi Store. Her Friend found that her second request was highly unusual and she asked her "Why Aldi?" She replied. "Then I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."