Early Risers.

[New Haven Neil]

1 hour ago, simontaylor484 said:

Well done Mrs @New Haven Neil has she ever thought about a sideline in assassinations?

 

 

 

I tread very carefully. 🐓

[polybear]

Bear's Sunday Funnies.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly:
“Captain." One passenger asks. "Who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea." The captain says. "But he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

 

Pinched this from a mate on Faceache
1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminium can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

 

 

A soldier runs up a hill and around a corner before slamming into an officer.
“Where do you think you’re going, son?”
“Sorry, Captain! It’s crazy out there and the fire fight was so heavy. I got scared and tried to go AWOL.”
“Who you calling Captain? I’m a general!”
“Wow!” exclaimed the soldier. “I didn’t realize I’d run that far back.”

 

 

I said to the woman in the cafe, “how much for your sausage rolls?”
“2 for a pound.” She said.
I said “how much for one?”
She said “75p”
I said “I’ll have the other one”

 

Two men are playing golf when one realizes he's left his jacket at the last tee He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back. "What's up?" asks his mate. "Well, you see those two women at the tee. One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress." His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you." He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world."

[Winslow Boy]

15 minutes ago, New Haven Neil said:

 

I tread very carefully. 🐓

 

I wouldn't have thought you'd hear it to be honest.

[PhilJ W]

Evening all from Estuary-Land. I was about to write this an hour ago but while I was upstairs I decided to lay on the bed for a couple of minutes. Arthur Itis is very quiet at the moment and I hope he stays that way. Now to catch up on Farcebook.

[J. S. Bach]

3 hours ago, jamie92208 said:

 ...snip... Thus her actual birthday was 31st August but all her official documents had 30th August.

Jamie

She and I share the same day but not, most likely, the same year. 😺

[J. S. Bach]

46 minutes ago, polybear said:

Bear's Sunday Funnies.....

...snip...

A soldier runs up a hill and around a corner before slamming into an officer.
“Where do you think you’re going, son?”
“Sorry, Captain! It’s crazy out there and the fire fight was so heavy. I got scared and tried to go AWOL.”
“Who you calling Captain? I’m a general!”
“Wow!” exclaimed the soldier. “I didn’t realize I’d run that far back.”

...snip...

 

😺😺🙀😺

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by J. S. Bach
To do a minor edit.

[Erichill16]

10 hours ago, grandadbob said:

 

Over the past few weeks I've been visiting a therapist for er  therapy on The Hand following the op in June.  I'm in her good books as I've been doing what I've been told and she has now discharged me from her care although she did say it could take up to a year to get back to normal.

Same here Bob with my broken elbow which I did in June. I thought it would be as good as new by now. Still getting cracking noises from time to time. 
Anyway hope your get sorted soon so you annoy  entertain the family with the guitar.

[Winslow Boy]

Well that was a bit of a day that was.

 

Set off to walk DD only to find when we got there I'd only gone and left the house keys in the door.

 

Lucky I'd put the alarm on so I just crossed my fingers. I really should have taken that as the hint it was but no I pressed on. Foolish boy. 

 

Well we got the walk in and just as we were almost back to the car what happens I fall into a stream. Yep right up to my knees. 

 

Lucky I'd thrown some overalls in the boot so at least I could change into something dry. Well this time I did take the hint and as much I'd wanted to go to the Wigan show I quit and came home instead.

 

So Im sorry fellow ER's as much as though I wanted to meet some of you fate had other ideas.

[TheSignalEngineer]

3 hours ago, PhilJ W said:

My maternal grandmother only discovered that she was a year older than she thought she was when it was time to receive her state pension. How it happened was a mystery until we discovered her baptismal certificate which showed she was baptised on her first birthday.

Researching family history has thrown up several anomilies in dates. I was looking at something in Anne's family a while ago when trying to track down the relationship of the last person to live in her paternal grandmother's farm. It finally clicked that it was a cousin of her grandmother. I had a picture of the grave of the parents of the person concerned then the name cropped up in the probate index. The death date was two days different. Ages often vary between birth certificates, marriage register entries and in particular the 1939 register. An anomoly on my side was with grandma's cousin whose first husband signed his name differently to what was written in the marriage register, and a note from the vicar was added to say he was known by both names. Mom always said he was a bit of a gangster in the East End who was never short of cash during the depression of the early 1930s. 

[Erichill16]

One for Baz.

[jamie92208]

53 minutes ago, J. S. Bach said:

She and I share the same day but not, most likely, the same year. 😺

Unless you are actually 110, I won't tell anyone.

 

Jamie

[Winslow Boy]

9 minutes ago, TheSignalEngineer said:

Researching family history has thrown up several anomilies in dates. I was looking at something in Anne's family a while ago when trying to track down the relationship of the last person to live in her paternal grandmother's farm. It finally clicked that it was a cousin of her grandmother. I had a picture of the grave of the parents of the person concerned then the name cropped up in the probate index. The death date was two days different. Ages often vary between birth certificates, marriage register entries and in particular the 1939 register. An anomoly on my side was with grandma's cousin whose first husband signed his name differently to what was written in the marriage register, and a note from the vicar was added to say he was known by both names. Mom always said he was a bit of a gangster in the East End who was never short of cash during the depression of the early 1930s. 

 

Often done to avoid 'complications' - I think is the nice way to phrase it.

 

One of my neighbours is known by two different names depending upon who you speak too. Turns out his father decided to change the surname.

[Barry O]

 Nice to see @Erichill16 and his good lady today. Obviously a visit to the garden centre gained enough points to buy a scone.

 

Also good to catch up with Brian @BSW01 today.

 

Long day but van returned to Easirent by 8:30 thanks to a great effort by club members and youngest Herbert. 

 

Tome for a glass of red then. Bed!

 

Baz

[monkeysarefun]

3 hours ago, Ozexpatriate said:

We've stolen your summer, and you've stolen our rain. We are now back in "abnormally dry" on the drought monitor with no rain in sight for at least a week. Our rain year starts on October 1 and it is normally quite wet, on and off, by now. We've had about 2mm of rain since early July.

Not a cloud in the sky  today which is unusual being a public holiday, rest of the week though we get yet more of your stolen rain..

Edited October 2, 2022 by monkeysarefun

[J. S. Bach]

29 minutes ago, jamie92208 said:

Unless you are actually 110, I won't tell anyone.

Jamie

Not yet. 😺

[Ozexpatriate]

15 minutes ago, monkeysarefun said:

... the rest of the week though we get yet more of your stolen rain

That is indeed a "normal" early October forecast here.

 

There's a category 4 hurricane (Orlene) headed for the 'Mexican Riviera' (Love Boat country.) It demonstrated the rapid intensification (going from cat 1 - 4 in a day or so) that we now see in a warming planet. (Hurricane Ian did the same thing approaching Florida.)

 

CNN: Hurricane Orlene strengthens into Category 4 storm as it heads toward western Mexico

[PhilJ W]

Goodnight all.

[Tony_S]

We have had to ask neighbours to pop round and check we haven’t done something like leaving a door unlocked or the gas hob on. We were half way across the Pennines when Aditi started worrying about the gas. It was off. 
 

[Tony_S]

44 minutes ago, Winslow Boy said:

Turns out his father decided to change the surname.

My mother’s  birth certificate had a hole in it. She was registered with the surname my grandmother was still using. She couldn’t marry Mum’s father until 7 years after her husband was missing believed dead. He wasn’t. It actually turned out he had deserted in WW1 and started a new life in Canada. Anyway when my grandparents married he did a diy modification of his children’s certificates. Didn’t seem to cause a problem, even at probate. 

[BlackRat]

2 hours ago, polybear said:

 

Bear hasn't worn a mask for quite a while now - it seems that for self-protection you'd need to be wearing medical grade masks; whilst wearing "ordinary" masks it seems that others are protected (to a degree) but not the wearer.  It got to the point where Bear was left thinking "well, they ain't bothered about me so why should I bother about them?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doc mate of mine summed it up quite well…… You can smell my ( his) farts and that’s through a pair of boxers and jeans……so unless you’re wearing the Carlos Fandango super rated ones……then forget it.

 

I haven’t worn one since. 

[BSW01]

Good evening everyone 

 

Well it’s been a lovely sunny day here in the northwest corner of England. My journey to and from Wigan was uneventful, the flow of traffic on the M60, M62, M6, going and then the M61 and M60 heading back home were all free flowing with no hold ups, despite roadworks on the M6. 

 

I enjoyed my visit to the Wigan show today, personally, I thought is was very quiet, but apparently it was busier today than it was yesterday! Anyway, at least I didn’t have to elbow anybody aside to get a look at the layouts on show. On the subject of layouts, the ones on show were all very good, but the amount of traders was a little disappointing, I didn’t think there were as many as there used to be. Consequently, I didn’t spend a great deal today, but I did get the chance to stop and say hello to Baz, he invited me round the to play trains on his layout, so thanks for that Baz, it was very enjoyable, especially once I got the hand of it. 

 

This evening we sat and watched a film we’d recorded earlier in the week called ‘Harriet’. It’s a true story and is set in pre civil war USA and was about a runaway slave called Harriet Tubman who was working for the Underground Railroad helping to free slaves, it was very good and I’d highly recommend it. 

[Ozexpatriate]

32 minutes ago, BlackRat said:

You can smell (his) farts and that’s through a pair of boxers and jeans

The molecular kinetic diameter of methane is about 0.38 nm. 

 

The SARS-CoV2 viral particle is about 70 nm - 90 nm, so about 200x bigger.

 

For comparison a pea is around 5 mm (4 mm - 8.5 mm) in diameter and a 20" beach ball is 500 mm - only 100x bigger.

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Ozexpatriate

[BSW01]

Goodnight all 

[Ozexpatriate]

8 minutes ago, BSW01 said:

... a runaway slave called Harriet Tubman who was working for the Underground Railroad helping to free slaves

At one point Harriet Tubman was selected to be represented on the $20.00 bill*. We may yet see that happen.

 

* Presently showing President Andrew Jackson under whose administration the Indian Removal Act of 1830 was signed and the Cherokee "Trail of Tears" took place.

 

The $1.00 (Washington), $5.00 (Lincoln) and $20.00 bills are the most common circulating notes. 

 

Edited October 2, 2022 by Ozexpatriate

[J. S. Bach]

Night Owl from the Piedmont.