Early Risers.

[The White Rabbit]

Meanwhile, a few puns for you...

 

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much Pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian 

She was only a whiskey maker's daughter, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum  Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine 

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'  

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root  canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.

 

... with apologies to those campaigning for the reinstatement of the groan button... 

[Erichill16]

43 minutes ago, The White Rabbit said:

Meanwhile, a few puns for you...

 

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much Pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian 

She was only a whiskey maker's daughter, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum  Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine 

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'  

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Two hydrogen atoms meet.  One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root  canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.

 

... with apologies to those campaigning for the reinstatement of the groan button... 

looks like some Bunny’s got too much time on his paws!

[polybear]

Bear here.....

Window & Frame 1 cleaned down....and I got so excitable n' carried away I did 2 & 3 as well.  Tick.

S'pose I'd better bung the second coat of primer onto the window beading in a few minutes.  Oh joy.

 

Bear's Discovery of the Day......

I learned a while back (on numerous occasions, in fact) that when coming down Loft Ladder steps the rungs aren't numbered 4, 3, 2, Ground after all.  Well I discovered this morning that Step Ladders work the same way, amazingly - the lightbulb moment coming just as I did my very best to fall thru' a Fence Panel (failing miserably, fortunately - it's my Panel and they're the wrong side of twenty notes + delivery now).  Turdycurses.

 

Right, off to dangle.......

 

BG

[Tony_S]

I decided ( following a suggestion from Aditi) that I needed a haircut. I was quite pleased at being able to get a parking place near the barber’s, however it was closed and had been for a fortnight, reopening tomorrow. I will go next week. I did manage to park outside the pharmacy on my way home. Good news was that one of the unavailable items was now in, earlier in the week supply was rather doubtful. 
Tony

[Tony_S]

10 minutes ago, polybear said:

did my very best to fall thru' a Fence Panel (failing miserably,

Was the step-ladder on the shed roof?

[iL Dottore]

Good Afternoon,

 

I’m feeling particularly self-satisfied today. On my last day in Japan the wheels on my 12 year old trusty Samsonite started to disintegrate (something I’ve noted with a lot of what I can only describe as “rubberised“ plastic – which seems to get sticky and disintegrate relatively quickly compared with the durability of the hard plastics). So I wrote to Samsonite customer support, asking for spare parts; the response from this generally well thought of  company was prompt, but sadly negative: they no longer make spare parts for my suitcase.

 

So, I dutifully wandered around Amazon, looking for some replacement suitcase wheels and duly acquired three sets of made in China wheels in slightly different dimensions (with the wear and tear on the existing wheels on the suitcase, I was unsure as to what exactly was the right wheel diameter). These duly arrived today, faster than anticipated, so this afternoon I relocated to the Alpine Redoubt’s workshop (also known as, and I mention this just to clarify matters for @Winslow Boy, the underground nuclear-bomb proof “shed“).

 

At first glance, the wheel axles seem to be a pretty straightforward bolt assembly. Not so, having failed to get any sort of purchase on what I thought was a simple Nut and Bolt  assembly, I had to break out the cutting discs and the hacksaw and cut through each wheel axle. Each axle turned out to be a single solid metal pin with a cap at one end and a rivet at the other. Once I had removed the axles (managed without, believe it or not, any bad language) it was a simple matter to install the new wheels. Smugness was acquired!. Unless I got a particularly crappy shipment of wheels (comments on these items had a lot of the usual “crap made in PRC“ reviews and criticisms for such wheels), they will probably outlast the suitcase itself.

 

T0 quote @polybear  “that’s a tick“!

 

RANT NUMBER 1: clearly Samsonite, although they make excellent and durable suitcases, definitely do not want anybody to attempt repairs to their products. Had I not had the extensive selection of tools in my workshop, there would’ve been no way in hell of ever effectuating a repair on my old Samsonite suitcase!
 

RANT NUMBER 2: I have a selection of fairly basic, but nonetheless, useful tools from Parkside (a house brand of Lidl), and amongst my toys are two cordless mini drills; one with a separate chargeable battery pack, the other with an integrated battery pack, which is charged through a USB charger. Until now, they have all performed flawlessly and definitely did so above and beyond what you would expect out of such an inexpensive piece of equipment. However today, whilst using the cutting disc, I noticed that both machines would cut out at practically any rpm if you needed to use a little bit of pressure . This was rather annoying and made the whole process of cutting through the solid metal axles on the old suitcase a lot more fraught and time-consuming than necessary. I am assuming that this is a safety feature to prevent you from are you doing any teally serious damage to yourself (or any unfortunate passerby if you happen to be in a bad mood). I suspect that the cut-off is set so that whilst you could cut through the flesh of a finger to the bone, you wouldn’t be able to cut through the bone completely because the drill would cut out (this, by the way, is sheer speculation).

 

ION

As a recompense for all my hard work, tonight‘s dinner will be my version of an “all day breakfast“; black pudding, bacon, scrambled eggs, and British sausages will be featured. NO beanz, NO tomatoes but - sadly - no fried bread

I’m not going to feel too bad about having indulged in myself a bit tonight because tomorrow I cycle* to the gym for one of my 3x weekly workouts: getting both cardiovascular and musculoskeletal workouts in one tidy, handy package.

 

Chat later

 

iD

 

* I wonder if I should mention to @polybear that currently my bicycle has an entire garage to itself (and doesn’t even have to share with Mrs iD’s bike)?

 

Edited September 15, 2023 by iL Dottore
Typo

[TheQ]

I too have been in Yorkshire today,

 

and Lothian, Borders, Northumberland, Durham. Lincolnshire, and  Norfolk..

Yes another 400+ miles driven.

Rain from Bo'ness to Newcastle, cloudy and damp to Boroughbridge, scattered clouds to Lincoln too darn hot and sunny to home here in Norfolk..

10 hours in all...

 

Seen on route 

A police car doing silly speeds, occasionally flashing head lights to get cars to move over... but no blues!!! Didn't think that was legal.

Also seen on the A1M a large black steam kettle, number 55189.

Also seen on the M180, two turns outs 304mm to the foot scale , each tilted at 45degrees on a separate lorry, from their appearance I think they are radius 1.

 

The nearest thing to an earthquake I've experienced was the Buncefield oil depot explosion, I heard it here about 115 miles away.

 

I'm off to raid the kitchen, after which an eyelid inspection is overdue.

 

 

[New Haven Neil]

Yawkshire became sunny today, so we visited something called a 'Cleethorpes'.  Actually a nice seaside place, not bad at all.

 

Tomorrow should involve a trip inland to the KWVR with any luck.

[Hroth]

I see that MurderNurse has had the gall to appeal her convictions.

 

[DaveF]

After my post this morning I decided to go into town to buy Richard Osman's new book in The Works as they had sent me an e mail to let me know it was half price.   As usual parking was easy, somehow I ended up with seven books and a jigsaw puzzle.  The shopping centre is closing at the end of the year, it only has five shops still operating.  I am hoping they find another vacant shop to go to - there are a lot in the town.  Just before I got back to the car I called at Poundstretchers to buy some biscuits, they had some bags of Quality Street on offer, needless to say I bought one.

 

Then I called on Betty who has the flat next to the one Mum owned.  She is 98 and normally only sees her family and carers so I try to call in now and then for a chat.  She is still very alert and enjoys a good natter.

 

Just before I reached my house I had to stop as an ambulance was coming towards me with its blue lights on.  It turned out to have come from the first house on the road opposite me.  They are having their cloakroom refurbished and the plumber had tried to cut his fingers off with a saw.  One finger had been cut through the bone but was still attached, three others had had just cut into the bone.

 

Fortunately Carol and Peter are retired nurses so they knew what to do until the ambulance came, it arrived about 15 minutes after they dialled 999.  He was taken to the RVI in Newcastle rather than the local  A&E only hospital nearby so he could have immediate surgery in their specialist unit.

 

After lunch I went across to see them and check they were not too shocked, I spent the rest of the afternoon chatting to them and drinking tea and eating biscuits.  It was not quite what I had envisaged when the day started.

 

There has been a steady heavy very wet drizzle all day, the temperature has remained at 12C and my heating came on just before teatime.  I think the evening will once again be music and reading unless I get out a DVD.  I am hoping that tomorrow will be incident free.

 

Edit - The rain is forecast to stop tomorrow afternoon!

 

David

Edited September 15, 2023 by DaveF

[polybear]

36 minutes ago, iL Dottore said:

* I wonder if I should mention to @polybear that currently my bicycle has an entire garage to itself (and doesn’t even have to share with Mrs iD’s bike)?

 

Only if you want to thoroughly p1ss me off....

 

20 minutes ago, Hroth said:

I see that MurderNurse has had the gall to appeal her convictions.

 

 

Nothing to lose, so I'm not surprised.

 

Work finished for the day - reasonable progress.

 

BG

[Andy Hayter]

The only earthquake I have experienced around 30 years ago was one in the Esk valley (Yorkshire) some 15km away - about 2.9* IIRC

and it was a simple sharp bang that sounded as if something large like a wardrobe had fallen over upstairs.

 

* But the scale is logarithmic, so 3.9 is 10 times string, 4.9 one hundred, 5.9 and thousand and 6.9 as happed in Morocco, 10,000 times stronger!

[polybear]

5 minutes ago, Andy Hayter said:

* But the scale is logarithmic, so 3.9 is 10 times string, 4.9 one hundred, 5.9 and thousand and 6.9 as happed in Morocco, 10,000 times stronger!

 

And leads to horrific news such as this:

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-66818257

[The Lurker]

1 hour ago, Hroth said:

I see that MurderNurse has had the gall to appeal her convictions.

 

Well she pleaded not guilty so perhaps she believes she didn’t murder them.

 

and as PB says, she has a full life term so it is the only way she will ever get freedom.

[Hroth]

The only earthquake I've experienced was one that had its epicentre somewhere near Wrexham.

The effect was of a strong Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...... for several seconds but nothing fell over, or off.  Just a bit unusual!

[The Lurker]

8 minutes ago, Andy Hayter said:

The only earthquake I have experienced around 30 years ago was one in the Esk valley (Yorkshire) some 15km away - about 2.9* IIRC

and it was a simple sharp bang that sounded as if something large like a wardrobe had fallen over upstairs.

 

* But the scale is logarithmic, so 3.9 is 10 times string, 4.9 one hundred, 5.9 and thousand and 6.9 as happed in Morocco, 10,000 times stronger!

I experienced one back in the 80s back home in Kent. It sounded like my Dad had run downstairs. It took me a while to click I was the only one in! The next day I found there had been one with an epicentre near Liverpool IIRC magnitude 3.5

[Hroth]

2 minutes ago, The Lurker said:

Well she pleaded not guilty so perhaps she believes she didn’t murder them.

 

and as PB says, she has a full life term so it is the only way she will ever get freedom.

 

Her parents and the friend who attended every day of the trial have similar beliefs.

 

[The Lurker]

A quick google suggests it might have been the Llyn peninsula earthquake of 1984, magnitude 5.4. Maybe the same one as Hroth

[Hroth]

2 minutes ago, Hroth said:

The only earthquake I've experienced was one that had its epicentre somewhere near Wrexham.

The effect was of a strong Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...... for several seconds but nothing fell over, or off.  Just a bit unusual!

 

1 minute ago, The Lurker said:

I experienced one back in the 80s back home in Kent. It sounded like my Dad had run downstairs. It took me a while to click I was the only one in! The next day I found there had been one with an epicentre near Liverpool IIRC magnitude 3.5

 

As far as Kent is concerned, Wrexham is "near" Liverpool, and the date feels right, so it probably was the same one.

 

[The Lurker]

38 minutes ago, Hroth said:

 

 

As far as Kent is concerned, Wrexham is "near" Liverpool, and the date feels right, so it probably was the same one.

 

And the report says that most of the damage was in Liverpool- so perhaps that is what I recall from the News at the time.

 

I have never been to Liverpool but I have been to Wrexham!

[PhilJ W]

There was one in the UK yesterday. https://www.westweather.co.uk/earthquake

[PhilJ W]

Afternoon all from Estuary-Land. I went down to empty the shed at lunchtime to find that it had been moved without disturbing the contents. Sprayed a bit of weedkiller around the patio where the shed had once stood and in the sunshine this afternoon it started doing its stuff. There's a surprising amount of rubble left over, some of it will be used to fill in the holes dug by the foxes, that'll stop them digging.

[Coombe Barton]

... When I’d given up on that, tried, with similar success, to write some lecture slides ...

https://johncolby.wordpress.com/2023/09/15/zoe-figures-have-been-updated-covid-hangs-around-for-a-couple-of-weeks/

[Hroth]

11 minutes ago, Coombe Barton said:

... When I’d given up on that, tried, with similar success, to write some lecture slides ...

https://johncolby.wordpress.com/2023/09/15/zoe-figures-have-been-updated-covid-hangs-around-for-a-couple-of-weeks/

 

Liked the Allmand, its unusual to see a Regal in these small consorts.

 

[polybear]

Bear here.....

 

A question for the combined wisdom of fellow ER'ers:

 

Has anyone ever used heat reduction UV window film on house windows in order to drop the temperature?  Was it any good?  The muddle railway room is an upstairs nearly south-facing bedroom so cops the sun just a tad, despite the use of vertical blinds; if the film is worth a punt then I'll give it a go - I'm thinking tinted rather than mirrored.  Thanks

 

BG