Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable Mark Twain Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edge Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 (edited) "Some people say that the universe is made from Hydrogen atoms, because its the most abundant element out there. However, I disagree, I think the universe is made out of stupidity because its a whole lot more common than Hydrogen" - Frank Zappa or "Two things are infinite: the universe and stupidity. And do you know, I'm not too sure about the universe" - Albert Einstein Edited June 13, 2013 by Edge Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me Emo Philips Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edge Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 My favourite insult ever "I desire that we shall be strangers" - William Shakespeare Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 The problem with common sense is that most people are morons The Sarcasm Society just because the monkey got off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town George Carlin Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edge Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 If life give you lemons, keep them, because hey! Free lemons! Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 common sense is like deodorant, the people that need it most never use it - unknown Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edge Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 A word to the wise isn't necessary. its the stupid ones who need it Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold tomparryharry Posted June 13, 2013 RMweb Gold Share Posted June 13, 2013 I asked my maths teacher, what was the chances of my passing the exam... "Not bad, you'll get around 40% right first time, but you will have to work on the other 70%".... Ian 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edge Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 People who pretend to know everything are especially annoying to those of us who do Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edge Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Tragically I was born an only twin. Which was alright, except it was the other one that got all of the attention. Mr Peter Cook. A genius. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that." Steven Wright Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebottle Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 I'm enjoying the quips from such as Mark Twain, Groucho Marx - and William Shakespeare! However, perhaps we need a new name for the thread or a new thread, e.g. "I wish I'd said that". Which reminds me: Oscar Wilde: "I wish I had said that" James McNeill Whistler: "You will, Oscar, you will". Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 i heard that someone crept up on you from behind and overpowered you with a quarter of pontefract cakes, is that true lance corporal bottle? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluebottle Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 i heard that someone crept up on you from behind and overpowered you with a quarter of pontefract cakes, is that true lance corporal bottle? NeeHeeHee! Every man has his price! 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edge Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Or was it that you were bribed by foreign agents with four ounces of dolly mixture? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. -- Winston Churchill Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 waits for audience applause, not a sausage Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edge Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 "I say, Mr speaker, that if I was Mr Churchill's wife, I should poison his tea! Mr Speaker, if the rt. Hon lady was my wife, I can assure this house that I would drink it" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edge Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 The topic I gave you to write on was this: "Discuss the contention that Cleopatra had the body of a roll top desk and the mind of a duck" The answer...yes. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gloria Sass Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 bluebottle was the original kenny Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edge Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 "Oh my god! They killed Kenny" "you (removed for the sake of my membership on this forum)!" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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