" overly familiar " on websites

[PGC]

I don't like being called Sir. It makes me feel old, and I don't want to feel old.

 

The worse part is, working in a school, I get called Sir all the time.

 

Am I just a natural born loser? 

 

Phil

[Lady_Ava_Hay]

RMWeb is a bit different than many internet forums. Many members actually know and have met each other. Some have even been life long friends well before the invention of the internet. It is quite a respectful community in general, one of the important things that has kept it a cut above the rest. We all have one shared common ground of railway modelling, we are all friends within that community even if we do not actually know each other.

 

Actually all the other forums that I subscribe to, financially or otherwise, tend to being polite and with protocols unique to the social persuasions of the forum. RMWeb is different in that it is the only forum I use that actually produces meetings based purely on its membership rather than the other way round.

 

i think most of the mistakes ( if one can call them that ) are made by newer members who have not done any research on how the forum rubs along together before making an over enthusiastic post using familiarity which grates with me too. Nevertheless a quick PM pointing that out very often seems to stop the rot.

[rob D2]

" young man " - I still occasionally get this and I'm 41,,,, it's purely a case of condescension , someone older trying to imply they are more worthy.

I shall have to take to the response " old fart " or if pushed " coffin dodger ".

[Ozexpatriate]

I always think "Take care" sounds vaguely threatening.

Yes, it feels like the trailing:

 

"or you might meet wif, you know, an accident" is implied.

[Fenman]

" young man " - I still occasionally get this and I'm 41,,,, it's purely a case of condescension , someone older trying to imply they are more worthy.

I shall have to take to the response " old fart " or if pushed " coffin dodger ".

 

Pfft; I still get this and I'm in my fifties. Though, to be fair, my last boss was 83. 

 

Paul

[lyndonsdad1]

I'm 74, but I do ride a Ducati, so maybe that's why i'm called young man ?

[t-b-g]

Last time I was called "young man" (around the age of 50) was by the Rev. Peter Denny, who was 90 at the time.

 

It would have been absolutely impossible to take exception to somebody who was not only my all time railway modelling hero but also a truly lovely gentleman. It is often not just the words that are used but how they are spoken that can make the difference between something being condescending or affectionate.

 

Tony

[Ozexpatriate]

I think most people find that once they've reached that stage "hastening" might be more likely......

So long as the hastening doesn't result in a quickening I suppose.

[Baby Deltic]

I think most people find that once they've reached that stage "hastening" might be more likely......

Its when they start perambulating departure you know you've got problems.

[Catkins]

This talk of familiarity and parting salutations has reminded me of how I interact with some, well a couple, of my customers at work -

 

As a company, we have a system where our customers sign on a handheld computer (just like a parcels company) to confirm and accept the delivery is all right and we then type in their first name - some of my customers still give me their surname. We've only been using the computers for two years.

An occasional parting salutation that gets used is;-

Customer "Be good, or be careful."

Me "That'll spoil my fun! "

 

Again with my managers it's first name terms - I'm always concerned if we start using surnames!

[Jack]

I don't like being called Sir.

 

 

Last person to call me sir slapped the handcuffs on straight afterwards ......... if only she'd been a policewoman

[MJI]

Surnames makes me feel old as I am only in my 50s I am not old

[DavidR]

I have a young American colleague, at the school here, who always addresses me as "Sir". I asked him if he spelt it 'Cur'.

He looked blank. Is it an age, or culture thing, do you think?

[Claude_Dreyfus]

Probably a little odd, but whilst I don't mind the collective 'chaps', being described as 'chap' in the singular irritates me immensely; i.e 'alright chap'! 

[aussiebrfan]

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed the proliferation of posts lately that usually consist of a short one sentence statement along the lines of 'Nice wagon/diesel/coach/youtube clip/engine/layout/etc (insert appropriate) MATE' that seem to be the new equivalent of the old 'me too' post.

The poster/s seems more interested in reaching the top ten posters list than actually contributing anything.

This is especially obvious when you hit View new content and 10-12 or so of the posts on the first page all have the same member as the newest post.

Overly familiar? Who knows? Who cares?

 

I'm still confused about being referred to as a "typical Australian" on the Ashes victory thread. What does that mean? Is it rascist? Should I be upset? No, not really its sport and I've got better things to worry about and it reveals more about the poster than my country of residence.

 

[Dagworth]

As far as I can tell I've only ever referred to one member here as 'Mate' on two occasions. That's because he is a good mate, I can't think of many people I would answer the phone to with 'eh-up baldy' either.

 

Here's to good mates that you meet through the hobby

 

Andi 

[aussiebrfan]

There is certainly  way too much of the new style "me too" posts to be seen too often

 

 

Is this a me too post?

 

 

Nice 'post' mate!    

[bluebottle]

Nice 'post' mate!    

 

Nice "Nice 'post' mate!" post, mate! 

[aussiebrfan]

Nice "Nice 'post' mate!" post, mate! 

 

Haha, I have a tear in my eye from laughing!

 

Very nice! (said in a Borat accent)   

[eastwestdivide]

, .

 

(Edited with new 2nd pic)

[Jack]

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed the proliferation of posts lately that usually consist of a short one sentence statement along the lines of 'Nice wagon/diesel/coach/youtube clip/engine/layout/etc (insert appropriate) MATE' that seem to be the new equivalent of the old 'me too' post.

The poster/s seems more interested in reaching the top ten posters list than actually contributing anything.

This is especially obvious when you hit View new content and 10-12 or so of the posts on the first page all have the same member as the newest post.

Overly familiar? Who knows? Who cares?

 

I have been guilty of a couple of such posts.  Why?  because if you click 'follow' on a really good thread without contributing then in VNC it doesn't show up with a star or such like.  it then becomes easy to miss, especially if you haven't logged on for a few days and there are loads of topics to wade through.  So a 'me too' post flags it up with a nice little star.  And yes, I kow that I could play with the filters, but that requires additional effort ...

 

However, as far as I am aware there has been no 'mate'-ing going on by me [sadly ]

[Pacific231G]

I have a young American colleague, at the school here, who always addresses me as "Sir". I asked him if he spelt it 'Cur'.

He looked blank. Is it an age, or culture thing, do you think?

It's an American thing. They tend to be rather more formal than us especially outside of the big cities and address one another as Sir or Ma'am far more than we do. It's not uncommon even now for sons (or sons in law) to address their own father as Sir.

 

It took me a long time to unlearn what I'd been taught in school about addressing French waiters as "Garcon" and to use "Monsieur" instead. Since it means "boy" I'm not surprised it didn't lead to very good service. However  "Je ne suis pas votre garçon" is perfectly appropriate when the other half is expecting you to wait on them hand and foot.  I don't think Monsieur has quite the same weight of respectfulness as Sir does in the British dialect and I think that's probably also true of Sir in American English.

[A_S]

getting back to the original post - I think it must be a generation thing. why on earth would you worry or get annoyed by something so inane?

 

That show grumpy old men springs to mind!

 

(gets ready to dodge the bullets)

 

Andy

[The White Rabbit]

As far as forum names go, I look on them as being like radio callsigns and if I'm responding, in the thread or via PM, unless I know the person (and count them a friend), use the full forum name. 

 

Sometimes other members are 'informal' and abbreviate my username to initials, which I'm fine with. It's not an issue on here, but I can have a similar problem to The Q with most people struggling to spell (or pronounce) my name properly. So on the Internet I wimp out and pick a simple username.

 

I know I'm still new here but I've not had any times when I've felt uncomfortable or been put out by someone's excessive informality. 

[coachmann]

Seven years ago, forum names seemed to be the norm and a few of us wished to be anonymous for various reasons. It wasn't long before people abbreviated my name to  'coach' and they could have called me mate, boyo or pilgrim for all cared, yet I was a bit taken aback when someone mentioned my real name.  I considered it 'not the done thing ol' boy' and assumed it broke forum rules on confidentiality. I recall there was also a debate as to whether professionals should be named and not hide behind handles seeing as it was a website for average railway modellers........... How times have changed ladies....