emac Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a large black Labrador. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog, took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150", she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead" The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan..... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griffin Road Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Oh dear ! M b Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold colin penfold Posted February 16, 2015 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 16, 2015 Oh dear Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold gwrrob Posted February 16, 2015 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 16, 2015 Oh dear Shocking.You would be shot for that post on my thread..... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Gold colin penfold Posted February 16, 2015 RMweb Gold Share Posted February 16, 2015 .......by a duck, ironically Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted February 16, 2015 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 16, 2015 That jokes a dead duck. Hat, coat go....n............e.................... Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
station cat Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 You're all quackers Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevinWalsh Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornbyandbf3fan Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Oh dear Oh dear oh dear Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium PhilJ W Posted February 17, 2015 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 17, 2015 No no no, it's a duck! Or rather, was... At least its not a parrot. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RhBBob Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I thought Cuddles was the monkey..... The Duck was Orville I've had my tablets today, honest Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajaxjones Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I think it might have been a parrot. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Sheep Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 At least its not a parrot. How many times? It's not dead, it's pining for the fjords. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMweb Premium Mallard60022 Posted February 18, 2015 RMweb Premium Share Posted February 18, 2015 Rumours of my demise are premature. Quackers. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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