Steve K

A good way to stay alert for dodgy driving is to look at cars' number plates. If they've been illegally modified - you know, dodgy spacing and or/misplaced screwheads to make the true number illegible - there's a very good chance that the car will be driven by a self-centered tw@t. The four interlinked rings on the radiator grill serve a similar purpose...

One of them is spelled correctly?

Actually, it was funnier in capitals...

I don't think it was entirely frivolous (yes, I'm a Chelsea fan, but bear with me!), although as appeals go, it wasn't the best. There was a slight argument for Courtois' foul being on the edge of the box, not in it, and another slight argument that the covering defender stopped it being a "clear goalscoring opportunity" (despite the pundits trying to tell us otherwise, there's no reference in the rules to "last man"), so the offence at least merited another look. If it had been a vicious foul, rather than a really poorly-timed challenge, then I agree that the appeal would have been without merit, but as it stands, I think it was optimistic, yes, but not frivolous.

Quite - I'm a Chelsea fan, and even I'd argue that they don't have any points yet! On a slightly different note, you'd think, wouldn't you, that we could have all 10 matches kicking off at 3pm on the first day? Just once during the season, to kick it off (OK, twice, if you count the last day of the season)? As it is, 8 teams won't even play today, and the table will be meaningless until Monday night. Well, to be fair, it will be meaningless until after Xmas, but you know what I mean... On a totally different note, what are Brora Rangers still doing in the Highland League? They're far to good for the rest of the division, and have been for 3 years!

That one is out of date, anyway - all the numpties swapped their BMWs for Audis a while back, it seems...

Is it just me?

Where's the "potentially libellous" button when you need it?

I think Ireland may have used some of that money to bribe England not to turn up today...

Yes, it will be plain sailing, just as soon as the club sack the manager's son and his 2 equally-disgusting mates... Seriously, one can only admire what Leicester have achieved this season, and I hope they manage even better next time, but they have got to get rid of those 3 pieces of dirt.

So, the Leeds chairman met him at Waterloo and said "Take a Chance on Me", did he?

Ah, another child-friendly joke for our inclusive forum...

As it says on Charlton's official twitter feed: It's missing the point, though. If Middlesbrough win their last game 10-0, then Bournmouth only need to concede 9 to get sucked into the playoffs. Game on!

What is the situation with promotion to and from the Scottish leagues? Aren't the top 4 leagues there something of a closed shop? Or is the occasional team voted in or out? Anyway, you're not the only ones following the bizarre stats in the Highland League. I always watch the results anticipating the odd 8-0! If you look at the table, it's quite possible that 5 or even 6 clubs will have conceded 100 goals by the end of their 34-game season (although Brora and others have already finished, a lot of matches get postponed up there and Fort William, for instance, have 3 games still to play). As it happens, the Scottish team for whom I have a soft spot play in the Lowland League, not the Highland - Gretna 2008, born from the ashes of the previous Gretna FC, whose rise and fall in the mid 2000s was so spectacular.

I don't deny that the PL is a vast money-making scheme for whichever clubs happen to be in it at any given time, but I haven't seen any proper evidence to suggest that any of the top clubs want to end promotion and relegation - any such action would surely be counter-productive, since the relegation fight is usually more exciting, and certainly more nerve-racking, than anything going on at the top of the league. I'm a fan of Chelsea, as I've mentioned here before, and as things stand, they're likely to be in the top 5 or 6 clubs in the PL for the next few years at least. But even if things go wrong, as they do for pretty much every team at some point, I wouldn't want the protectionism of a closed-shop top flight. The pyramid system of English football is for me a sacred cow, something that is so important to the structure of the sport in this country that it would be a sort of sacrilege to ruin it in such a way. What's more, I honestly don't think that the management of Chelsea, Man United, Man City, Arsenal, or and of the other so-called "big" clubs would want to change it, either.

Do you take seriously every tabloid back-page headline? Such a thing is so highly unlikely to actually occur that this is a ridiculous comment. But then, if you want to make a satirical point - and why not - perhaps you could put in the odd capital letter or punctuation mark?

I've not seen that version. On a specialist channel, is it?

Agreed - blame my short attention span, but I scrolled down until I found a joke that didn't fill the whole screen!

They'll also be signing up Phil Attelly, I presume?

Of course, I agree with that sentiment. I was just putting the idea out there to provoke debate. However, I honestly believe that Bradford and Reading deserve a bit more concrete recognition for their efforts this year than the possibility of a trip to Wembley in the semi-finals.

Maybe they'd try harder if the prize was something more glamorous than a place in the Europa League? Just saying...

You'll all come round to my idea in the end - resistance is futile!

In my masterplan, the FA Cup winners would replace one promoted team (or possibly replace the 6th-place Championship team in the playoffs, but I'd prefer instant promotion), not increase the number of relegations. It's only the extreme rarity of such a situation that makes it workable, in my view!

If no paper is provided Use your finger, just like I did

!